New sub

I'mME • Jun 12, 2023

babyboysub,

I apologize for not giving you any advice. I stick with what I said to others about non-consensual, and since you were here asking and made the comment about her refusal, I figured you were not going to engage in that.
Good luck.

Musetta​(sub female) • Jun 12, 2023

I love what people have said.
And I do think it’s possible to make some of the solutions work consensually. Not by pissing her off, or manipulating Her. But by being a more attentive, giving partner as a means of fulfilling your need to serve.

You can just start doing it, or have the conversation about why you’re doing it first. It isn’t something you need to hide. She knows you have submissive cravings, they didn’t vanish because she isn’t interested. It’s fair to tell her, that what you’re doing is choosing to manage them yourself.

Likely she won’t love it. Because no doubt, the things people have mentioned are things she’d have liked you to be9doing because you care and/or are listening. But maybe what she can hear is that; embracing the fullness of who you are as a person, has the byproduct of making you a better partner. As it does.

Uncomfy convos is where it’s at for you guys at the moment. I really hope for the very best for you guys.

RiverWolf​(masochist female) • Jun 14, 2023

You can find the D/s in all relationships. There's always the one who more takes control and the one who gives it. Yes the amount is different depending on the people involved. Just talk and be completely open about everything you want and need and go from there.

Yuan​(dom female) • Jun 16, 2023

You are facing a tricky situation here but unfortunately these are very common where u might want something while your partner doesn't. And as your wife isn't willing to be your dom ...The only adivice I can think of now is communication about how you feel and an arrangement outside of your marriage which will satify your inner needs. (As some peple have already suggested before me).
And even then if she doesn't agree ,then u have to forget urself and be the way it was before or prioritize yourself and divorce if you can (though it's easier said than done) in my opinion

RiverWolf​(masochist female) • Jun 16, 2023

Consent isn't needed to be owned or an owner????? Damn that's sad really that you think that. This lifestyle is all about consent. SSC literally the motto of BDSM. Dude trust me when I say just sit down make a list of talking points and questions and of course leave room for her questions too. Listen and be heard. Be forward and exact leave no place for a misunderstanding. Make sure you understand her and that she understands you. Then go from there. If you want I can help you out with your list.