Switch? What is that!

I'mME • Aug 23, 2023

Interesting views on Switches. Being a Switch for some is not something they cut on and off like a lamp. Some folks in life need herding so to speak, if nobody steps up to make a decision, you could be discussing sometbing as simple as what time to meet, what restaurant. On the job, diviying up duties in a group project. In a household, if one perwon is good at balancing a bank account and the other isn't, who would you want to be in charge of that?
I'm not submissive by nature to men or anyone else. There are men that are capable of bringing out my submissiveness. I don't believe in natural dominant or submissive.
There are those who get on their knees for anybody that says they are a Dom or Master. Does that make them naturally a submissive? There are those who think bc they they boss ppl around and ppl let them, that makes them a dominant, does it?
So back to Switches, some people will top and bottom and people consider that to be a Switch, does it? Are they faking it? A person who is an experienced at being a top and a bottom is always a welcome person at a party, dungeon, etc.

One should not make blanket statements when it comes to putting labels on humans.

HeSaidHunt​(switch female) • Aug 23, 2023

For me, different sexual parnters trigger the responce for me. Some I'm able to completely submit to and others bring out my need to control and care for that person. Mainly the person I interact with will determine the dom or sub side. I am naturely a dominate personality, some days I'm soft and need to be taken care of, submit control to my dom. Other days I'm all hard edges and need control to feel relaxed. I don't 'act' a part I respond to the person I'm with and go with how I honestly feel in that given moment.

Ingénue{VK} • Aug 24, 2023

"Naturally" to describe people who identify either as submissive or dominant but it's just the switches are "acting" or "pretending"?

How wonderful life must be when you have such certainty as yours.

I applaud your world view. Just what a community needs.

event horizon{NotLooking} • Aug 24, 2023

event horizon{NotLooking} • Aug 24, 2023

Okay, so this is total horseshit and I'm genuinely surprised to see people agreeing with you. Both you and the people who agreed sound like judgy noobs who don't understand anything about how these things work.

I have often compared the perception of switches to the perception of bisexuality. Somehow, existing in the grey areas is just more than some people can grasp. Straight and gay people often say the same things about us -- we're confused, we're acting, we're promiscuous, bi is just a stop on the way to gay, blah blah blah. No, we aren't pretending or acting. We are not limited by absolutes, and we expand our understanding of both sides by experiencing them first hand. I am mostly a Domme, but am very aware that I have the potential to sub to the right person. I don't say that just to say it, I actually live it, and it's something I actively want.

Sexuality and kink roles exist on a spectrum. It is harmful to communities to state otherwise, and extremely narrow-minded. And for what it's worth, I've literally never encountered this issue in real life kink scenes. People who are actually doing proper kink in real life don't care what you identify as. It's almost always just internet-only people who seem to have this problem. Get over yourselves and stop judging people just because you don't understand something about them. Learn how to ask non-judgy questions and be open to the real answers from people with lived experiences.

Yuan​(dom female) • Aug 24, 2023

From my perspective, Switching is definitely not acting.

If "Switch" was acting, I could say the same for being "submissive" or "dominant".
Cz most subs I have known are dominant in their life(academic, work, social) ...but they chose to submit to their partner and they feel at peace giving up control. So if that's not acting , I don't think so why you should label Switch as Acting . It's all about personal choices.

Like for me, it's never about the role ... It's more about the person I love or my partner. Like if I feel content giving up control to my partner I would . And If I feel content and pleasure in his/her submission then I am the dominant one in that relation. It's exactly about my and my partner's needs and wants.

This is not a pretense . It's about what brings me happiness and peace.

Just because something doesn't feel relatable to you or something you have no knowledge of ... doesn't make that thing less real or "Acting".

event horizon{NotLooking} • Aug 24, 2023

*standing ovation*

Darklusts • Aug 24, 2023

Switch is not acting. It can be summed up perfectly with an old saying:

"There are good leaders, but a great leader is a good follower."

Does not mean you play as submissive; but in military or work place, how you respect and treat your superiors will give you a greater understanding of what you expect from those below you. It also gives you a great understand of how to treat your submissive or employees, based on how you want to be treated by your superiors. You can be a Dom and also a good leader, but if you are head strong and difficult to your superiors in life, you will always be a middle level Dom, no matter what desperate subs or your ego says.

I'mME • Aug 24, 2023

Oceanic,

100% agree. I just want to be. Kind of like the two pictures, and you are supposed to spot the differences. I just want to be the odd looking pepperoni doing my thing.
LABELS. My label is No Label.

Exhausting.