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Instant Ick ! What's is Yours ?

TwoRingsOneChain
1 year ago • Sep 13, 2023
TwoRingsOneChain • Sep 13, 2023
I'mME wrote:
tallslenderguy wrote:
I'mME wrote:

maybe someone gets what i wrote. What im trying to say.


i think i may "get what [you] wrote," at least in part?

We don't have classes on relationship in school. Instead, we relegate intimate relationship to the status of something we "fall" into ("falling in love"), as if intimate relationship were more akin to a mud puddle that we slip and "fall" into during a rainstorm.

As i read what you wrote, center is your identification of "compatibility" as foundational to having/maintaining a SO relationship? The door of relationship hinges on it? i saw it because it's a pet theme of mine, so i may not deserve high points for reading comprehension here.

i find few people who approach finding a SO relationship with a plan or framework, again, most seem to just go with "falling" (consciously or unconsciously). Parsing it down:
1). Compatibility is foundational to building and maintaining a substantial relationship.
2). No two people are 100% compatible (the "glass" is never full or "perfect").
3). Self knowledge is crucial to being able to identify compatibility.
4.) The desire and ability to communicate said "self knowledge" is crucial to being able to identify compatibility.
5). Identifying the difference between need and want is crucial to identifying whether our half full glasses will sate each of our appetites adequately (since no one is perfect, we enough for each other?).
6). Identifying the half empty parts (aka "deal breakers") helps us determine ongoing compatibility.


Hey TallSlenderguy,

How you doing?

I'm not clear what you meant by center? LOL, i may approach a situation like that, but I need to understand what you are saying.

I was having a moment the other day, actually a couple of them. I was going to say i probably should have picked another location on here to write all that, but it is what it is.

I'm a person that looks at all sides of a situation, putting myself in someone elses shoes, how they may view something.

It can take a lot out of a person , when trying to understand another human. Several situations have crossed my path lately and they are not getting any of my fucking grace, this I promise.

If someone doesn't have the capability to have a simple conversation with me, ( referring to chatting stage) where is there to go ?!

I'm going to stop now, lol, I can feel myself fixing to put some truth down about doms and subs, don't want to derail anything.


I know what you mean about wanting to put more down, I keep thinking about situations but most of it's already been posted on here.

I have a situation right now, exactly what we've been talking about where I've sent two pictures (non-naked) and he won't even respond with a single picture. He's already asking for more pics and I'm refusing until he sends. And I'm at the point now, I'm ready to dump the guy. Just another player. It's just so frustrating.
tallslenderguy​(other male)
1 year ago • Sep 13, 2023
[quote="I'mME"]
tallslenderguy wrote:
I'mME wrote:

maybe someone gets what i wrote. What im trying to say.


i think i may "get what [you] wrote," at least in part?


I'm not clear what you meant by center? LOL, i may approach a situation like that, but I need to understand what you are saying.

.


i could have written that better. What i meant to say was it seemed to me that your pointing out the importance of "compatibility" was at the center of or central to what you were saying.
Yuan​(dom female){Looking}
1 year ago • Sep 14, 2023
Yuan​(dom female){Looking} • Sep 14, 2023
tallslenderguy wrote:
Purĕ wrote:



Same as "I'm a private person, due to my profession, that's why my profile is empty - but feel free to ask questions"


Omg, that one drives me berserk. Or "feel free to ask questions" twin sibling: "Ask me anything, I'm an open book."

Sure, a virtually empty profile and an eleoquent introduction in my message box that says: "Love your profile, tell me about yourself." Journals with none of the pages written on do not constitute "... an open book."


I feel so irritated by it.

Besides making everything sexualized .

Trying to flirt in every sentence.
I mean I understand humor but everything has a limit like if he makes it 99% flirting and 1% original topic that I mentioned.

And just because we started to have one or two conversation, assuming that we will surely be in a dynamic. Mentioning it in a roundabout way in everything.

Demanding things without reciprocating like pics or personal info , inconsistencies and changing things with flow.

Like if I mentioned that I like this kink , instantly saying "Oh wow!me too " when he cleary stated before that it's a hard limit for him . Dude do you change your words like clothes?
EgyMaster​(dom male)
1 year ago • Oct 27, 2023
EgyMaster​(dom male) • Oct 27, 2023
mish wrote:
Ah, icks. I don't know how I feel about the term ick, but I have a few. Disrespect is a big one for me. I get very turned off by impatience and over eagerness. Honestly, bad spelling and grammar as well, but I will overlook it if they are ESL.


Im interested in messaging you, but it's not available if you're interested in getting to know each other I'll find out a way to communicate together.
UpFromTheAshes​(switch gender queer)Verified Account
1 year ago • Oct 27, 2023
UpFromTheAshes​(switch gender queer)Verified Account • Oct 27, 2023
My biggest "instant ick" showed up in a spectacularly bad first date recently. A little context: I'm autistic, and I frequently use knitting or crocheting as a stim to help keep me focused, centered, present, and just generally better emotionally regulated.

So now to the instant ick. Anyone who sees my fiber art as a distraction and actively works to prevent me from doing it (especially if this is combined with verbally telling me that they don't mind). If they're altering the situation in ways dedicated to making me stop stimming, in general, that's a huge turn off (and an instant "nope" on further dates).

Another that showed up in the same date is treating me like I'm incapable or fragile *as a person, in all things.* I want to feel protected at times...I can be fragile, and there are absolutely situations I'm incapable of dealing with. But I balk at being treated like I'm incapable of taking care of myself at all, or like I'm so fragile that a slight breeze could take me out. Outside of an established and negotiated dynamic, I want to be treated like I'm an individual and an equal, *unless I specifically say otherwise.*
Little Vixie​(sub female){Mgh30}
1 year ago • Oct 28, 2023
Receiving a message like "I read your bio and it says your a maso. I'm a sadist. I think we would.make the perfect match! I'm sane and creative."

Like you pulled one thing from my bio and assume we fit together well because you want ass....
MCCheer​(sub female)
1 year ago • Oct 28, 2023
MCCheer​(sub female) • Oct 28, 2023
An instant ick . . . many of what has been said . . . dick pics and thinking every submissive should submit to you/you are a Dom god . . . please just go away. . . I want the whole package so if the first thing you want to share with me is a dick pic then you probably have no idea how to use it . . . and whie I am a submissive, I am not a doormat so know that from the get go . . .
Steellover​(sub male)
1 year ago • Oct 28, 2023
Steellover​(sub male) • Oct 28, 2023
EgyMaster wrote:
mish wrote:
Ah, icks. I don't know how I feel about the term ick, but I have a few. Disrespect is a big one for me. I get very turned off by impatience and over eagerness. Honestly, bad spelling and grammar as well, but I will overlook it if they are ESL.


Im interested in messaging you, but it's not available if you're interested in getting to know each other I'll find out a way to communicate together.


Oh man... I used to see this kind of thing a LOT when dealing with adult dating site bots/scammers, especially dubious sites like Craigslist and Backpage (which, just to be clear... I've long since given up on as an avenue for hookups.)

I get it if English is not your first language and you openly admit this being the case, but typically this type of mangled pidgin "Engrish" would be from people who claim to be local, native English speaking Americans- but were most likely foreign-based scammers and bots. Any attempts to engage them further would usually result in either a) being re-directed to a different paywalled adult dating site, or b) an inevitable request for money prior to meeting. Which... any requests for money prior to ever meeting or even talking in person over the phone, are always an instant ICK- for good reason.
Sasa​(dom female)
1 year ago • Oct 28, 2023
Sasa​(dom female) • Oct 28, 2023
Purĕ... Your story was fun to read. Would have been an Ick for me too. Hard not to laugh 😄🤣 and for a Dtype as deadly as a lisp.

There are so many things that could turn a start into a stop. For me, it is often posing to be something special. We all are, we don't have to make us bigger and it is a first lie... we shouldn't forget this. On top many of us can sense a lie. In the first tiny conversation I heard they were highly intelligent, they served many dommes in their yearlong experience, know already what type I am, and so on. Sexuality is not something for the first conversation, flirting doesn't impress anyone. Same rules for vanilla... Why don't they know that. It is pretty sad because I don't believe a lot of women might be impressed or think that is intriguing or interesting. Please don't do that. It is embarrassing and if not immediately then definitely later. Be just humble and yourself. Meet us on eye level until we change that.
I'mME
1 year ago • Oct 28, 2023
I'mME • Oct 28, 2023
Sasa wrote:
Purĕ... Your story was fun to read. Would have been an Ick for me too. Hard not to laugh 😄🤣 and for a Dtype as deadly as a lisp.

There are so many things that could turn a start into a stop. For me, it is often posing to be something special. We all are, we don't have to make us bigger and it is a first lie... we shouldn't forget this. On top many of us can sense a lie. In the first tiny conversation I heard they were highly intelligent, they served many dommes in their yearlong experience, know already what type I am, and so on. Sexuality is not something for the first conversation, flirting doesn't impress anyone. Same rules for vanilla... Why don't they know that. It is pretty sad because I don't believe a lot of women might be impressed or think that is intriguing or interesting. Please don't do that. It is embarrassing and if not immediately then definitely later. Be just humble and yourself. Meet us on eye level until we change that.



Sasha,

This is true for me as well. So much puffing sometimes from both sides of the slash.

Human is first these days, on my list of what do I desire....

❤️