Ask a Dom/me or s type anything

Ask a Dom/me or s type anything

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jul 2, 2023

So here it is the holiday weekend and I am watching the Tremors set for like the 5th time. Being that bored, I thought I would see if this site would be up to a bit of a Q & A.

I want to see if we can generate a discussion on a set of topics related to D/s matters.

Rules:
You ask a specific matter related to the lifestyle. Don't make it silly or unrealistic. Nothing like 'What would you do to me if I was yours for 24 hrs?" or "Would you serve me if I did.....".

Now once you answer a question, you have to ask another. You also don't get to answer your own question.

I'll start:

Question: What made you kinky?

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Jul 3, 2023

I tbh don't think anything MADE me kinky.
I have honestly always been myself.
Only meaning I have known myself and wat I needed and wanted.just sometime I went about it wrong .

Hopefully that made sense.

My question , : what I don't understand is why so many show it all before they are claimed ( or what ever you choose to call it) ??
I get if you are at a dungeon/ play party and you are with someone . Because then u have thier approval. I m rambling sorry

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Jul 3, 2023

Also if it's allowed..

Way do show many Dom s try to look scary in their pics?

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 4, 2023

I think it is because some feel that there is a certain image they need to project as dominants. Others are just naturally hideous.

My query:
Is it the mark of an established and experienced dominant to have the ability to take "No" for an answer i n a variety of settings without getting his dick in a twist? -- Feeling less of a dominant because they listen to reason that is. I've known a few dominant types over the years (IRL) in non-dynamic situations and they seem as though they would much rather split their foreheads open than appear diminished as a dominant.

Disclaimer: They're the Old School type in my area. That might be part of it.

Solace​(dom male) • Jul 5, 2023

I agree with the image aspect. It is easier to hold the mindset that fear commands respect more effectively than a sense of calm and affection. Though some ladies I've spoken with on here are more into the former.

As to Miki's question, I'm not sure that it is a sign of experience. I certainly can picture some "experienced" individuals who can be stubborn in this regard. I don't think I'm alone in that ability either. I think its a personality trait, to be open and calm, however it's also a trait that can be learned hence why more experienced Dom's exert more proficiency more frequently.

On a side note, good to have you back Miki. Some of us were concerned about your sudden disappearance and its comforting to see you back in good form and humor.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 5, 2023

@ Solace

As to the side note.. Thank you for the kind "welcome back". . The time away was ... necessary.

I had some things to deal with, errors to correct-- that sort of thing

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Hey, you forgot to put forth a question!!

Mine was the best I could come up with. But since I am here I'll venture another one:

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How young is "too young" to start in on BDSM, and could starting young cause one to be jaded by the time they get close to 40?

[I know this is not a one-size-fits-all thing but maybe some of the more experienced D or s types might have some insight]

It's tough to come up with a better question as my role was that of a no-commitment sexual masochist; a tiny little subdivision f being submissive.

Sololoquy • Oct 5, 2023

I'm not sure becoming jaded is so much to do with age starting out as range of experience and attitude. I get slightly jaded about a different community I've been actively in only for a few years, but then there are pockets where things are different and more positive - it's just finding them.

My question:
Since I know very little about it, how do those of you who live the lifestyle 24/7 integrate those parts of your life that are outside it, e.g. jobs, family, friends outside the lifestyle, health, running errands?