I'mME
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9 months ago •
Jul 4, 2023
Miki wrote: FordGirl:
I am definitely not a sub, nor am I a switch., Trying to find the right descriptive is a pain in the ass. I'm a sexual masochist but that's all I do. Come, play, and go away. But that's neither here nor there. You said in the lead post that you are "extremely new" at being a domme. You can seek out advice from more stablished dominants, read, look at YouTube things if you can find them, but my best advice would be to also follow your own heart, as it were. Let nature take its course at first. If being dominant is in your nature, then you'll naturally do them. Take advice, avail yourself of resources, but don't be influenced too much by experiences and actions of others. As for the switch factor.. I'd try to just focus on one role at a time. Trying to learn the ropes of too many rings can be confusing, and confusion can lead to doubt or frustration. However you stack it, you'll get to where you want to be... in time. Time and Patience: the keys to the kingdom. That's my four cents. (inflation) [NOTE: I adjusted your screen name because I am an unrepentant, un-tamable and proud Brat! I do get snarky on occasion!] M A kinkster? |
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Online now
Miki
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9 months ago •
Jul 5, 2023
I'mME wrote: Miki wrote: FordGirl:
I am definitely not a sub, nor am I a switch., Trying to find the right descriptive is a pain in the ass. I'm a sexual masochist but that's all I do. Come, play, and go away. But that's neither here nor there. You said in the lead post that you are "extremely new" at being a domme. You can seek out advice from more stablished dominants, read, look at YouTube things if you can find them, but my best advice would be to also follow your own heart, as it were. Let nature take its course at first. If being dominant is in your nature, then you'll naturally do them. Take advice, avail yourself of resources, but don't be influenced too much by experiences and actions of others. As for the switch factor.. I'd try to just focus on one role at a time. Trying to learn the ropes of too many rings can be confusing, and confusion can lead to doubt or frustration. However you stack it, you'll get to where you want to be... in time. Time and Patience: the keys to the kingdom. That's my four cents. (inflation) [NOTE: I adjusted your screen name because I am an unrepentant, un-tamable and proud Brat! I do get snarky on occasion!] M A kinkster? Lost me there. As for the name adjustment, a very un-original play, but I couldn't help it. |
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I'mME
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9 months ago •
Jul 5, 2023
Miki wrote: I'mME wrote: Miki wrote: FordGirl:
I am definitely not a sub, nor am I a switch., Trying to find the right descriptive is a pain in the ass. I'm a sexual masochist but that's all I do. Come, play, and go away. But that's neither here nor there. You said in the lead post that you are "extremely new" at being a domme. You can seek out advice from more stablished dominants, read, look at YouTube things if you can find them, but my best advice would be to also follow your own heart, as it were. Let nature take its course at first. If being dominant is in your nature, then you'll naturally do them. Take advice, avail yourself of resources, but don't be influenced too much by experiences and actions of others. As for the switch factor.. I'd try to just focus on one role at a time. Trying to learn the ropes of too many rings can be confusing, and confusion can lead to doubt or frustration. However you stack it, you'll get to where you want to be... in time. Time and Patience: the keys to the kingdom. That's my four cents. (inflation) [NOTE: I adjusted your screen name because I am an unrepentant, un-tamable and proud Brat! I do get snarky on occasion!] M A kinkster? Lost me there. As for the name adjustment, a very un-original play, but I couldn't help it. You said I'm not a sub, nor am I a switch, trying to find a name ... Is a pain in the ass. Kinkster, I mean you could make your own words up, or you could be Miki, or , or , or... |
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Miki
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9 months ago •
Jul 5, 2023
I'mME wrote: Miki wrote: I'mME wrote: Miki wrote: FordGirl:
I am definitely not a sub, nor am I a switch., Trying to find the right descriptive is a pain in the ass. I'm a sexual masochist but that's all I do. Come, play, and go away. But that's neither here nor there. You said in the lead post that you are "extremely new" at being a domme. You can seek out advice from more stablished dominants, read, look at YouTube things if you can find them, but my best advice would be to also follow your own heart, as it were. Let nature take its course at first. If being dominant is in your nature, then you'll naturally do them. Take advice, avail yourself of resources, but don't be influenced too much by experiences and actions of others. As for the switch factor.. I'd try to just focus on one role at a time. Trying to learn the ropes of too many rings can be confusing, and confusion can lead to doubt or frustration. However you stack it, you'll get to where you want to be... in time. Time and Patience: the keys to the kingdom. That's my four cents. (inflation) [NOTE: I adjusted your screen name because I am an unrepentant, un-tamable and proud Brat! I do get snarky on occasion!] M A kinkster? Lost me there. As for the name adjustment, a very un-original play, but I couldn't help it. You said I'm not a sub, nor am I a switch, trying to find a name ... Is a pain in the ass. Kinkster, I mean you could make your own words up, or you could be Miki, or , or , or... I get it. Yes, that would apply. I am submissive only in sexual situations and not given to be submissive otherwise. By day (even though I work Overnight shifts) I'm independant, occasionally stubborn and deliberately affect an air of unapproachability-- as in though I'll often sport the white-blouse-and-mildly-short black skirt and sometimes a choker but I'll also have on those "too small" eyeglasses and dead-pan expression.. The usual "snooty Asian chick" look just about everyone has come across on occasion especially in an urban setting. Thanks for clearing that up. "kinkster" was so obvious I missed it. Hidden in plain sight. |
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Sololoquy
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6 months ago •
Oct 23, 2023
Twisty Citrus wrote: And have you decided upon what sort of dominant you ultimately want to become - something which brings you the most confidence, enjoyment, personal growth, and the thought of which turns you on the most? Likewise, have you determined what sort of partner you are looking for: a servant, a submissive, someone for domestic chores, a slave, an oral worshipper, a fetish lover, a paysub, etc.? I'd be interested in learning more about different types of dom and sub. I haven't come across some you mentioned here before. I've heard of pleasure dom and soft dom, which I don't think fit me. Also not a servant or someone for domestic chores. What are some other kinds? |
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Literate Lycan(dom male)
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6 months ago •
Oct 24, 2023
There are as many types of Domination as there are types of submissives or rather as many types as you can imagine. You become you. You can subtly place them in various types simply for the point of discussion and description when trying to find someone who matches you: the Dom 101 - regular ol’ Dom; the Daddy Dom; the romantic; the sadistic; the mentor; the Educator (or Professor); the healer; and the list goes on.
Ultimately, the Dominant is simply the D in the D/s and they hold the responsibility for maintaining the structure of the dynamic as agreed to by both parties involved. (Both parties have to agree on the dynamic form - the Dominant maintains the responsibility for maintaining the structure; the submissive has the responsibility for complying within the confines of the structure - for the betterment of the dynamic) Key elements to ensure success as a Dominant: The ability to listen and comprehend. The ability to create a safe environment for both parties to be at ease to become or be who they are. If you feel inclined to be Dominant, what do you desire from it for yourself and for your partner (submissive). Is it only sexual? Or are you interested in lifestyle? There is a massive and huge difference between being a Dominant in a healthy dynamic and someone who simply wants a person to care for them at home and provide sexual favors. Many (many) individuals who describe themselves as dominant seem to have an opinion that they don’t have to put effort into the relationship. They simply have to exist and the submissive should be kneeling and fawning over them and bringing them drinks and disappear when the sex is done. Just like many submissives believe they only need to kneel when they feel like it. These are simply kinksters, not Dominant nor submissive. Nothing wrong with that. Just not really the same. So to begin, how do you see yourself being Dominant? |
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House Talion(dom male)
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6 months ago •
Oct 24, 2023
Treat ppl like ppl, not the scum kn the bottom of your boot cause everyone is someone. Findoms finish last, ubber-dommes are everywhere
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tallslenderguy(other male)
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6 months ago •
Oct 26, 2023
Was gonna respond with more... but instead i can ditto Literate Lycan, i feel He offers some great input.
Like others, i'd underline the idea that there is no standard, one size fits all D/s dynamic. As i see it, D/s is a framework for both exercise and discovery for each of the people involved, and then meshing, blending them together. To me, the participants define the dynamic, the dynamic doesn't define the participants. So self knowledge, mutual openness are both fuel for ongoing commitment and foundation to build on. |
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