Sub collar

Sub collar

Snowangell​(sub female) • Oct 29, 2023

I’ve been looking into getting a collar as I want to get used to wearing one for when I find a dom. Can I please have tips on what people have experienced in what they like in a collar, best material, most comfortable, long lasting. Also is it normal to get myself one or should I wait till I find a dom?
Thanks for your help!

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Oct 29, 2023

Personally, I would wait til you have a Dom. Us Doms like to choose the collar for the sub. I have chosen different kinds of collars for different reasons.

Aquarius Dom​(dom male) • Oct 29, 2023

Of course you can find yourself a collar. But that’s all it will ever be a self bought adornment.
However if you wait until your D type collars you with one of the many types of collars then it will carry a purpose and a reason for being around your neck !
But as with everything it’s your choice

Little Vixie​(sub female){Mgh30} • Oct 29, 2023

My dom got me a bracelet for outside public wear. My job makes a collar nearly impossible to wear, so a bracelet works better for us.

MCCheer​(sub female) • Oct 29, 2023

i agree with what has been said. You might want to try to find what you like, what you are comfortable wearing. Will you have a collar for play, a collar for home, and a day collar. Or will you wear the same one all the time, My first Dom I had a couple that I interchanged between. One was a thin leather strap that fed through a wood O (not sure if it had a specfic name but it looked like a wooden washer) and a silver chain with a tree of life on it. My most recent dynamic, my first one was a silver chain very dainty with turquoise stones. The second one was more chain-link with silver and purple links with a heart at the center. This one was the only locking collar I had so i wore it all the time.

No matter which one it was, it was always grounding for me. I would hope any future Dom will respect what you are comfortable wearing especially outside of the house or any medical conditions which might indicate one type of collar works better than others. As with everything else in a dynamic, there should be discussion and negotiation on this.

I have known submissives who had to have a "regular" necklace because they were claustrophobic if anything was too tight on their neck. Another had to wear an anklet because her job did not allow her to wear any jewelry on the hands, wrists, arms, or neck (and earrings had to be studs only). Yet another submissive wore what I can only describe as a leather dog collar. Each one worked for each particular dynamic.

fluffypoppet​(sub female){Protected} • Oct 29, 2023

I agree with Peka... Traditionally, a collar of meaning is given to a sub by his or her Dom/me. It is an act of great significance in many dynamics.

I think, however, you might be interested in looking up self-collaring. Some subs buy and wear their own collars to symbolize:
- self love
- empowerment
- sense of control
It isn't my thing so I can't tell you much more about it... but it is far from unheard of.

Besides, you might want a collar for play time.

Hope you find what's right for you.

SouthernFire​(sub female) • Oct 30, 2023

I have heard of subs buying their own collar to get used to wearing one, especially if they are not used to wearing any neck adornments. I have heard of subs trying on different one to make sure they don't have any reactions to different materials. I'm friends with a gal who it turns out is allergic to leather, she had a leather play collar from her Dom and caused a rather unfortunate incident.

Miki • Oct 30, 2023

Having read, or skimmed the above I see both sides. I tend to lean towards "let the dude pick the collar" or you can get one to "get used to wearing one" but most dominants will want to swap that one out for one of his choosing.

I'm on the sidelines with this one otherwise as I haven't and won't be in a D/s situation, but I do like sporting "neckwear" as it subtly suggests I'm on the freaky side. But for me it's chokers. Some wide, others thin and always black, (no adornments) .

I have a couple cloth ones and a couple leather ones.I don't wear such to work or anything but when I am out and about and especially visiting a club. My choice of choker goes along with whatever else I decide to wear so obviously one of the leather ones would pair well with attire I would wear to a club or social gathering.