Being sexually open

Being sexually open

Little Vixie​(sub female){Mgh30} • Oct 30, 2023

Did you tell your family that you are into bdsm? How did that react? How did you think they would take it?

Mine found out when I was 18. Got told I'd end up dead in a ditch and should seek therapy for being into it. 5 years later, my family could care less, but today I got told by my moms boy toy that "he is embarrassed for me since I'm not embarrassed for myself". And that times must've changed because as as kid he never would've been like me. That women got in the kitchen when asked to cook.
Why should I be ashamed of myself for something like sex. I feel like as long as I am safe, clean, and having fun then it shouldn't matter.

LordofPain56 • Oct 31, 2023

Eh....BDSM is kinda like electrical engineering. You can't run home and tell your relatives that you just ran 1200 amps from a major substation to a new offsite switchgear. You know they aint gonna understand it, so you don't bother saying anything about it.

Re: Being sexually open

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Oct 31, 2023

You shouldn't be ashamed, whats between two consenting adults is noone else's business. That being said, Im too scared to tell any of my friends or family too. There's certainly a stigma that is associated with bdsm and kinky things. Close minded people will always judge but we have to do what makes us happy. ♡

UpFromTheAshes​(switch gender queer) • Oct 31, 2023

I haven't actually told my family, mostly because by the time I started being more comfortable exploring kink I had already largely stopped talking to most of them. Disowned my mother because she's an abusive narcissist some eleven or twelve years ago, my brother stopped speaking to me when I came out as transgender. My sister probably wouldn't care, but she and I haven't ever been very close.

However, my mother saw one of my friends who was openly exploring her sexuality (and probably kink) wearing a leather collar one day, and flipped her lid. She went on a rant about how that kind of stuff is so degrading to women, and didn't we know what it meant (I actually didn't really at the time and my friend was not Collared), and on and on about what a horrible thing it was. She banned that friend from our home and told me not to associate with her anymore, which I ignored. She's also gone on multiple rants about my sister wasting herself and her life because she's content to be a housewife and stay-at-home mom and she doesn't want to go to college or have a career as a doctor/lawyer/etc. I feel it's safe to say she would have a conniption if she knew what I'm into. As for my brother, he suspected some stuff and actively degraded me about it any chance he got, even though I'm certain he's pretty kinky himself.

Re: Being sexually open

Sweet Ginger​(sub female){⚓ } • Oct 31, 2023

I agree! Your a grown woman and what happens between two consensual adults, as long as it's legal is no body's business..I personally wouldn't tell my mom because some things, I feel she doesn't need to know.. just like I really didn't need to know what was in her nightstand 🤭 while I was looking for the spare key.. *surprised* 🙈

simple • Oct 31, 2023

Considering most of my family are staunch Christian’s, no I wouldn’t tell any of them.

Re: Being sexually open

UpFromTheAshes​(switch gender queer) • Oct 31, 2023

Absolutely this! You shouldn't be ashamed. I shared about my family shaming me/people close to me, but I neglected to focus on the fact that I don't feel like their opinions should matter one jot about what I do in my own time. Nothing I do has anything to do with them, so their opinions shouldn't enter the equation (and largely don't anymore for me)

UpFromTheAshes​(switch gender queer) • Oct 31, 2023

Fun fact: The only person in my entire family I would be willing to talk to about kink is also a very conservative born-again Christian. Not that I'm saying you should go out and tell all your "staunch Christians" about your kinks...just like, you can't judge people *just* based on the fact that they're conservative Christians.

simple • Oct 31, 2023

You don’t know my family, I do—it’s not judging them. I don’t talk to my family because of how they raised me, with their flawed Christian outlook, and abuse. I wanted a better outlook on life.

SageFlame​(sub female) • Oct 31, 2023

Most of my family, at this point in time, would not welcome a conversation about sex in general. I do believe one of my deceased family members was into the lifestyle and kept it secret. Over time, I connected the dots. It was obvious all traces where attempted to be erased. Well done but they forgot a few things. Looking back, when they were alive, I probably would have been shocked and unable to process the information. I would enjoy having a group of women to openly converse on those things that mainstream society deems taboo. Family doesn't come to mind with a kink discussion.