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How to explain myself to a Vanilla

HisSecretSub​(sub female)
5 years ago • Sep 21, 2018
HisSecretSub​(sub female) • Sep 21, 2018
Bunnie!!! hahaha Sir always makes jokes about vanilla sex!! He will say - in his most forced, lame white guy voice - "Oooooh yeah, I'm going to stimulate all your erogenous zones tonight. Maybe get real crazy and leave a light on. Do it real slow with the sheet in between us" and shit like that .... I cryyyyyyyyyyy laughing so hard. I can't even think of life before good sex anymore, and I am so glad I can't hahaahaah
Bunnie
5 years ago • Sep 21, 2018
Bunnie • Sep 21, 2018
LOL @ HisSecretSub, that’s awesome.
FunCouple{.-Couple-.}
5 years ago • Sep 21, 2018
FunCouple{.-Couple-.} • Sep 21, 2018
Hello Xtina

How about saying just “I am sexually submissive to my partner”.
Should their response be “Huh. Was that?”, ask them to explain what they think it means.

Saying this doesn’t define you then as submissive in all situations which equates to ‘easy lay’ to vanilla-ites.

From their reply you can then lead onto (if appropriate) what things you find interesting..... but just bit by bit.
Don’t storm in with something like I love clothes pegs on my back and clit while I’m being spanked.

It’s too much to soon.
Vanilla-ites break too easily.

I found that saying “I’m a sexual Dominant” was more sensitive to s vanilla-ites constitution than saying “I’m a Dom”.
Caused less heart burn over dinner too.

Some women would be interested and curious and some not.
It’s for you to judge and decide the way forward.

Hope this helps.
DomForHer​(dom male)
5 years ago • Sep 21, 2018
DomForHer​(dom male) • Sep 21, 2018
As someone that has recently dived into this lifestyle coming from vanilla to a dom I feel I can give an interesting intake. My sub introduced this lifestyle to me fairly early on in our relationship. She has said she could tell I would be interested based on how I handled things. Honestly all I really knew were the typical stereotypes (boy was I wrong). So I asked a lot of questions and googled a lot ha. We had many conversations about it and how it would work for us. I should mention as well that we are 24/7. There were many ups and downs but they made us stronger within the dynamic. We are about a year into it now and there’s no going back to vanilla for me. I tell her often how appreciative I am for bringing this into our relationship.

So my advice is one do as FunCouple said as far as introducing yourself as sexually submissive or say you are looking for a sexually dominant. That should get the conversation going. From there you should be able to tell if they would be interested or not. It is not an easy topic for a vanilla to discuss. But I have always had a kinky side and am very traditionally thinking so I think that’s what my sub saw in me. I understand it can be frustrating but take your time. You will find the right dom for you.

I hope this helps. If you have any questions feel free to send me a message.
cyndi lucy
5 years ago • Sep 21, 2018
cyndi lucy • Sep 21, 2018
It helps to be patient and wait for the right type of man to come along and fullfill your needs. I am a dominant woman who needs a sub in her life who wants to be in a female led relationship. For me I've had good luck finding subs on Slave Selection http://slave-selection.com/?P=A787698 I'm sure there are other forums or munches you can attend that you can find the dominant man you are looking for. I have hard time being in a vanilla relationship.
Sybil
5 years ago • Sep 21, 2018
Sybil • Sep 21, 2018
Lol @ Bunnie
@FunCouple made a good suggestion


I run into this problem a lot. As a Domme trying to explain BDSM to a man that has no previous notion was a bit overwhelming disappointing. I was lucky because my sub came when I wasn’t expecting nor looking. It was him who ask me what is my darkest Fantasy... the one thing if giving the opportunity to do what would it be!!! He open the door and I walked through.