Introducing Daddy Dom/lg Lifestyle into a Pre-Existing Relationship?

Introducing Daddy Dom/lg Lifestyle into a Pre-Existing Relat

mariraee​(sub female) • Nov 26, 2023

I’ve been in a relationship with my fiance for 5 years now. We have explored the lighter side of BDSM in the bedroom; all of which has been introduced to him by myself. He takes a dominant role in the bedroom and when we are intimate he always refers to himself as “Daddy” - which again was at my request early on in the relationship.

Now for years that date prior to him and I entering a relationship, I have felt the underlying desire to have a Daddy Dom relationship wherein the Dominance bleeds outside of just the bedroom. I consider myself more of a baby girl than a little. I crave someone to give me rules, and punishments for breaking them / rewards for following them. There are a lot of aspects of our relationship that teeter the line of a Daddy Dom/lg relationship already. He often praises me, calls me princess or baby girl, does the menial tasks for the sake of doing them for me. But I’m not sure how to bring up the other parts that I need from him, and I’m worried on how to express it to him in a way that makes sense.

Any advice?

Re: Introducing Daddy Dom/lg Lifestyle into a Pre-Existing R

Heero​(dom male) • Nov 27, 2023

I am perhaps missing something here, so please feel free to enlighten me. I don't particularly see the "problem" here...

Based on your first paragraph, it seems you've had success in the past with voicing your desires and having them met positively. So I'm not sure what is the issue with simply doing that again in this regard.

Aquarius Dom​(dom male) • Nov 27, 2023

It all starts with an honest open discussion he may fear what it may unleash in you both !
But you will never know until you discuss it !
There are many resources here and on the web why not explore them together and slowly piece your needs wants and desires together!
There is No bespoke Ddlg relationship you build your relationship your way !
Have fun and enjoy 💙

Sweet Ginger​(sub female){⚓ } • Nov 27, 2023

Even within bdsm, ever relationship is different..it all depends on what the two individuals choose for themselves.. from what you have described, he sounds like he is/has been accepting a role/ position as your Daddy Dom at least in the bedroom..I like the idea of having an open conversation but you want him to lead as your Dom, right?? I would bring up suggestions; how you feel he could have more control, how that may look and you would like to progress more into a DD/bg relationship..ask him what he would like start with what the two of you may enjoy that could add more of the dynamic into your relationship..it sounds as though he's been willing to explore this with you..perhaps he's waiting for clues from you to expand on this..best of luck!

Re: Introducing Daddy Dom/lg Lifestyle into a Pre-Existing R

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Nov 27, 2023

Show him the whole message you wrote here, i think it does a great job conveying what you are trying to convey.

On a side note, and just my opinion.

i think that things like "Daddy Dom," etc., (i.e., most of the stuff discussed on this site) are part of our wiring, not something we necessarily choose. Sure, i think it has a choice element, but there is something driving that force that is a part of ones nature or wiring. In my experience, being open about who and how you are and what you want/need can have a couple of effects. It may uncover and evoke a similar, corresponding/compatible need/desire in the other person that can then be cultivated, explored, exercised.

It can also become a matter of that person doing something because you want it, not because it is one of their wants/needs. Personally, i do not think that is sustainable, and often devolves into a quid-pro-quo dynamic, where the other person expects/wants something in return... that also may not be one of your wants/needs.

To me, for this to truly work in a mutually satisfying way, both have to want/need_______________, not just do it because that;s what the other wants.
Again, that's just one guys opinion.

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 27, 2023

Totally all-of-the-above.

The guy might already suspect but will never really know where you want to go with that type of dynamic unless you tell him straight out.

Since he has engaged in some of this already, you should be assured that that he's not going to flip out in shock and run out the door like his ass is on fire.

House Talion​(dom male) • Nov 28, 2023

If you're into diapers pour some water down your front, whine aniut it till he shows, point to the diaper n let him do the rest.

If you're not into diapers simply act the age you feel best till he reacts to you being in little space. Being sexual at such times outside of the bedroom is strongly recommended against