Addressing Other Master/Dommes

Addressing Other Master/Dommes

Nicomedes​(sub male) • Jan 16, 2024

When looking around this site and a Master or Domme hasn't owned me, how do I address them?

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Jan 16, 2024

Just be polite and respectful. You don't have to call anyone by a title that doesn't own you. Although you may hear differently. And welcome

Nicomedes​(sub male) • Jan 16, 2024

Thank you!!!!

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Jan 16, 2024

I always recommend using their profile nickname (As in I’m Literate Lycan, so LL works well). But some thoughtful individuals have managed to slip an honorary into their nickname, such as Sir Laughsawholebunch or Master Munchenheimen (completely made up nonsensical names, so if there is someone named that, not my intention to include you). I would recommend simply using the Laughsawholebunch or Munchenheimen until you get to know them better.

Cognizant​(sadist male) • Jan 16, 2024

Hello Nicomedes and Welcome

Good question. Seems the others have pointed out using their profile nickname which I also recommend. Occasionally you will find a preference on their profile, especially where pronouns are concerned, I always recommend reading the whole profile before initiating contact, some have instructions on how they prefer you do that.

Have Fun, and again Welcome.

Dale

bdsamworld​(sub female){collared} • Jan 16, 2024

I feel it's perfectly fine to just say a general greeting too. Like hello or hi there! And then go into whatever it is you'd like to say. You can also treat it like any good customer service person with a "Good morning/evening." Being polite can go pretty far.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Jan 16, 2024

I agree, even though some may have actually earned this in say a leather background (which does give it value) I would hold off using any honourific in a nick name till you figure out if its self apointed by a legend in their own lunch time type, vs someone who actually deserves that title.

Plenty will push back against this, showing indignation that someone would dare not to use their title, often siting it as a mark of respect to do so, as will plenty of old quard types bemoaning the drop in standards and way things used to be. In my book respect is earned not just blindly given, so only give it if its deserved outside of any dynamic you get involved in, within, titles are between you and whomever you get involved with, something to be discussed and agreed to.

When I first came here, I did use full names in the chat room etc, but some of those I gave that respect to, ultimately turned out to not deserve any, so I stopped, except in one case.

I know all of this will be confusing, the one twue way folks telling you to do it their way, what their ideas demand, but I would learn as much as you can, find what resonates with you, and follow that because it does, not because some randomer on the net, or elsewhere demands it, or tells you this is the way it is. It isn't and it never was, there is no one way to do this, and there never was.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Jan 16, 2024

You had me smiling with “self appointed by a legend in their own lunch time” because it is so true.



It reminds me of the four decades of training I have put into learning and developing skills and then learning to teach. When I meet someone who isn’t my student, they simply call me by my name, because I am not their teacher. Some who aren’t students of mine use my honorific out of respect, but I would be just as happy with less. Because sometimes it’s an honor to be able to use someone’s title as a way of denoting the relationship. (Ie. My students call me teacher because they are my students - we are both in the dynamic. To a great degree, they have earned the right to call me that as much a I’ve earned the right to be called it) We can respect the level of dedication many have put in their art or skill, and hopefully they won’t be insulted should we decide they may be a most excellent Master - they just aren’t necessarily OUR master.

Great discussion!

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Jan 16, 2024

Before joining here I regularly would address men as "Sir" online. Im Canadian, were polite that way lol. But wow not a good place to say the S word. Some people eat it up and their head gets so big they can't fit through the door.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jan 16, 2024

Depends on how you want to do it.

Way back in the old days, It was typical for unattached s types to refer to D types as "Sir" or "Ma'am" It was simple politeness. Hell, I always reply to vanillas I have not been formally introduced to in those terms. It is just respectful (what I would love to learn is if there is a formal term for Non Binaries like that).

Now days, everyone wants to be super cozy like they are your best friend and refer to you as what they want. I can't tell you how many times I have told people to call me "TD", still they call me just about anything else.

And to you FUCKS who get pissy about being called "Sir" or "Ma'am" by non property: Get over yourself. The s type is just trying to be polite, and in some cases, old school. Be polite back and climb off your high horse.