Do Dom/mes get to have Praise fetish?

Do Dom/mes get to have Praise fetish?

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jan 19, 2024

While I didn't a lot of time to engage in D/s activities during my silly time (post thanksgiving through the second week or so of January), I did get sometime to contemplate various aspects.

One of those is whether Dom/mes should feel warmness, quickness of breath, or even giddiness from a simple "Thank you" or "Good Job", or even a simple smile.

From my point of view: The Dom/me's job is to do the best they can and then do it again.

and again.

and again.

With no thanks necessary. "All in a Day's work" and all.

That was then, but now..... There is one who smiles and murmurs "Thank you"

Oh this sets my heart ablaze.

This feels good.

Drinfear​(dom male){Owns PFP} • Jan 19, 2024

I have been living the lifestyle for almst 30 years now (Jan 24th. 2023 is My 30 year Anniversary) I can HONESTLY say that in that time, I have NEVER had a switch/sub/slave/pet/little tell Me thank you for doing the duties My contract laid out as My respon.. Wait.. My current little was accosted by a customer at work almost 2 years ago.. he mistook her for someone else, but him confronting her put her in a manic spiral so bad all she could do was curl up in a ball and cry.. I was there within 4 minutes, and had the customer still been there, he would STILL be under one on one care of a DAMN good doctor, or hed be in a box in the ground.. SHE actually thanked Me for Protecting her.. Tyhe one and ONLY time I remember having that happen..

Heero​(dom male) • Jan 19, 2024

That's interesting. I can't really relate. Every sub I've ever had has shown gratitude, verbally and otherwise, for how I treat them. Whether it was me going above and beyond, or me doing something exactly as I said I would. Sure, it doesn't happen EVERY time, but it does happen quite often, almost daily I'd say. And it does feel good and make me feel closer to them. It also allows me to know what I am doing that makes a positive impact in their lives. So, it is also a form of communication to me. And indicates to me ways that I can be an even better Dom to that sub.

Generally I would say thanks are not necessary, but they're always appreciated.

And for me, whenever I've had a prospective sub who seems to not show thanks/gratitude/appreciation, they never get beyond prospective sub. I would not say I have a praise kink or fetish per say, but someone not being outwardly appreciative tends to have other things correlated with them that I don't like. For e.g., such a person is much more likely to treat me as a kink dispenser, which I definitely do not appreciate.

Generally, I would also say, anyone can have any fetish they'd like. Though I would recommend they not be contradictory. There is nothing contradictory about being a Dom and wanting the occasional show of appreciation.

Heero​(dom male) • Jan 19, 2024

I will not even begin to get into what my sub smiling at me does to me. Apparently I could get my Dom card rescinded for all the reactions and feels it gives me 🤣

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Jan 19, 2024

In the same vein as Heero above, on a number of occasions I have been thanked. Not that there are a number of others in my life or past, but much like Heero, I have been shown gratitude through a simple set of words and I can honestly say it feels powerful. I think very much like each of you, I don't expect anything as I see it as my duty and obligation - part and parcel to who I am, so I guess it feels extra special receiving "praise" as it were, or just simple acknowledgement. Wouldn't classify it as a fetish, but I do get your point.

Heero​(dom male) • Jan 19, 2024

In another vein: it seems very strange to me, that if you've had a sub that you've interacted with for a long time, a situation has never arose where a "thank you" would be a common courtesy thing to say--like you would say to anyone in that situation, not just your Dom.

I mean, at some point would you not open a door or jar for her? Take her to lunch? Grab her a coffee or her favorite pastry? Give her a reward for her doing something above and beyond? Holding an umbrella for her in the rain? Pulling out a chair for her so she can sit at a restaurant? I mean, a "thank you" is common place in such situations. You'd say "thank you" to the barista who hands you a coffee for crying out loud, even if they're a stranger. Are you not including such thanks when you say you've never been thanked?

It's equally strange to me that in a years-long dynamic, a sub wouldn't look you in the eye and give you a heartfelt thank you for *something*. Sure, to each their own when is comes to building a dynamic, but just coming from a point of view of common courtesy, it seems very odd to me.

But I could be weird though. There are many ways in which I'm not typical.

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Jan 19, 2024

This is so baffling to me. Wouldn't regular decorum dictate you use manners, be polite, thankful and show appreciation? And even moreso to your Dom/me? Wouldn't you instinctively feel grateful to them for all they do for you?

Everyone should be appreciated ♡

Drinfear​(dom male){Owns PFP} • Jan 20, 2024

I do what I do, in life AND the Lifestyle because it is who I was hand groomed to be.. Just like My stories and or poetry, it's just something I do.. I do not need or even want recognition, just like giving a homeless person money.. To ME, it feels like recognition is wrong.. I get MY pleasure from HER experience, and that's enough for Me.. Anything else would feel, AGAIN to ME, like I was getting something for the things I SHOULD be doing always,.. Thank you, SnowMinx for bringing up a topic that raises so much debate..

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Jan 20, 2024

I appreciate your position. But two simple thoughts - or rather one correction and one thought for discussion: SnowMinx was injecting her thoughts. The original post was from TopekaDom.

I'm not certain anyone is debating so much as sharing their diverse experiences. I would say though, if we are providing something of worth to the relationship, it should be recognized, just as we recognize the value of our partner. Within the exchange, we should each be valuing the beauty and uniqueness of our partners and if we are truly offering out best selves, we should be worth valuing. So although we all do what we do because it is literally who we see ourselves as, we should also realize the value of our efforts (obviously we strive to do better, to improve ourselves and our craft). Receiving recognition isn't putting a price on our actions, but it is affirming that our partners see the worth of our efforts. It isn't a debate, so much as I'm offering you a different way to perhaps view the topic.

All the best.
LL

Drinfear​(dom male){Owns PFP} • Jan 20, 2024

LL, Boss? I LIKE the way you think, and your eloquence in explaining things to others.. You, Sir, have opened My eyes, and I agree, not so much a debate as an expression of different ways to view the same subject, which, in itself, is relative.. I've been told about you, Boss, by several people out here, and believe you and I will be combatant friends.. LOVING the literary jousting match like modern day Knights astride charging steeds..