Continue watching BDSM porn?

Continue watching BDSM porn?

Veni • Jan 26, 2024

Should I continue watching BDSM porn, I know porn is acting and not real life, which is why you can pick some bad habits from it. Given your experience guys, what things should I watch out for?

Thanks

Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 26, 2024

I'm not one of the "guys" but my 2 cents is.... whether you should stop or continue is your choice.

But generally speaking if you know that all the crap they put in those vids by way of "storyline" around the actual screwing is acting/fiction you should be fine.

However in the event of "desensitization" ---that which helped you get your rocks off before doesn't ring your bells any more and you have to get raunchier and raunchier, well that's a sign to cut back or stop.

Too much of the same old thing------as in I have yet to see a porn clip that doesn't start with a blow job. When I was active I enjoyed giving head every time, sure, but one can only watch so many knobs being polished before it all looks the same.

So.... once whatever you're watching just doesn't raise your flag pole then it's probably a good time to stop or at least give it --- and your hand --a rest.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jan 26, 2024

Really it all depends on what you are watching it for.

90% of BDSM porn is pure crap. Flogging where neither participate know what they are doing. Spankings and paddlings are the same. Too much penetration sex and not enough D/s. Let's not even mention bad production shoots. Crap lighting, bad cam angles, horrible editing.

And yes the acting is terrible.

Really the best ones to watch is the Into The Attic series.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 26, 2024

... plays into the "desensitization" bit I wrote of.

For those new to it, it's the cat's ass.

After a time of course, it starts all looking the same much like any visual stimulus. Eventually, one becomes an ass aficionado and starts noticing details ---such as who is experienced at what, depth of content, and quality, or lack thereof, of acting....

Plus it is all so readily available with sites like xnxx and so-forth having huge offerings of similar stuff--- but it's free. Time was people had to pay to just see a decent set of tits.

You get what you don't pay for. However, if it helps one spank the bishop successfully it's worth the minute or two.

Just beware of the sites that plant malware on your machine or explode it with pop-ups. That's likely not the issue it once was though, as decent AV software and pop-up killers should do the trick.

After all: The only pop-up that one would want is the one-eyed snake.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jan 26, 2024

i agree with TopekaDom's assessment of BDSM porn being "90% crap" (and think that's true of porn in general). i can't really weigh in on straight porn, only really familiar with the gay stuff, but imagine it's somewhat similar?

i don't watch the 'professional' stuff because for me, sex is about connecting at a very intimate level. i despise "role play" for the same reason, this isn't "play" for me. (as an aside, i'm not making a universal judgement here, i realize this is just my wiring).

On the other hand, there are some gay sites where private members can upload and share their own vids of sex. i find that can be hot and informative. It's pretty much an exercise in voyeur and exhibitionism since it's irl sex captured on vid. Some are obviously trying and playing to the camera/audience, but i'd say most of those kind of vids are real people showing real feelings, etc. vs staged porn.

Iove​(switch female) • Jan 26, 2024

If you are able to separate fantasy from reality and view it strictly for entertainment purposes, you should continue to watch it without issue. If you feel that it may negatively affect your understanding of healthy relationships, it's best to limit or cease consumption altogether.

BDSM porn often normalizes abusive behaviour. Many of the practices shown in BDSM porn are harmful and unsafe, not to mention the potential legal ramifications. Therefore, it's best to be cautious when viewing it and avoid adopting any behaviours showcased in the videos. It is important to remember that even though it may seem like an exciting experience, BDSM scenes can be dangerous if proper precautions aren't taken.

If you still want to watch BDSM-related content, there are safer and healthier options available like educational or instructional material that can provide insight into the dynamics and safety protocols associated with BDSM. It's also a good idea to educate yourself on healthy BDSM dynamics and practices so that you have a better understanding of what to watch for when viewing BDSM content.

Veni • Jan 27, 2024

Thanks, your answer is on point, exactly what I was looking for

Veni • Jan 27, 2024

Makes sense, thanks for suggesting Into The Attic

Darkswan​(switch gender fluid) • Jan 27, 2024

I've been around for a long time; erotica, which is really porn in prose I suppose had a real impact on my D&S and BDSM issues and tastes; I knew I was sort of "different" where sexual desires were concerned from before puberty but didn't know the "difference" had a name or a fan base till really in college and the old Border's bookstore and it's erotica section. In retrospect, I didn't have a particular interest in spanking until reading erotica. The most literary, well written, erotica at that time was spanking and related impact play from the UK; much if not most of it written in the Victorian era and early 20th century. Like "Uncle Tom's Cabin" melted the racist hearts of many Americans, that well written spanking erotica made a spanking fan out of me. I'm not a gold star spanko but it is major interest. As a lifelong watcher and reader and listener of BDSM porn, I have deep mixed emotions about it. There weren't many BDSM "players" in my part of the country growing up and young and unmarried and my play with anybody or anything but myself was limited to 3 or 4 trips to San Francisco annually where there were people to play with. Most of my interests and apretty much all of the "style" and accoutrements were gathered from porn as well as many quite pleasurable moments. At the same time, my issues with "shame" were exacerbated undoubtedly by spending so much time watching porn and my marriage(s) suffered because of it. I was never enough a player to make value judgments where the technique and accuracy of the action were concerned but it floated my little pervy boat. It didn't seem to detrimentally impact my career and although I spent a lot of time with it which should be considered wasted time maybe I spent even more time playing or practicing golf. *laughs* .

NeilWest • Jan 27, 2024

The problem with watching porn (bdsm and kink porn especially) is that many new and inexperienced kinksters are getting their knowledge and how-to information by watching these false and misleading videos and thinking they are a Master/Mistress Dominant/submissive or slave etc. Ask them the difference between Master and a Dom or a sub and a slave- no idea. Ask them the proper knots to use or what parts of the body you never restrain- completely clueless. Safety scissors? Aftercare? CNC? The list is a mile long and they are getting their directions from a fake map. This type of porn imho is so damaging to the alt/kink community because it casts what we love in a very distorted, abusive and unhealthy way. Porn is fantasy and unfortunately people assume that how they see it played out on screen is how its done in real life. very few actually seek training from those in the community that have the knowledge and ability to teach. there is a club where i live that has a basement with tons of playareas for whoever wants to use them and wont go down there because of how careless and dangerous people are. Just mho