Do You Copy & Paste?

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Feb 16, 2024

This thread is the gift that keeps on giving bahahaha.

stairwaytoheaven​(dom male) • Feb 16, 2024

I am with Snow on this one. If you are not willing to put in effort on the initial "investment" on the encounter, how can some one expect you to put the effort in the relationship? Sub/dom is no different than vanilla when it comes to relationships. I don't give a rats ass if you are sub or dom, if you do not put in the interest, if you do not peak my interest by touching on personal things in my profile, message etc. YOU are not worth my time or investment.

If you are sending out blanket resumes on every "job" in town, you are not likely to find a job you will stay at or enjoy.

My opinion.

CageOwner​(dom male) • Feb 17, 2024

Poorly picked example by you IMO. Here’s why:
It was back in 1997 and I had completed a bank apprenticeship with the sole purpose of becoming a stock trader afterwards. Those jobs were in extremely high demand. So to give myself the best opportunity I got the yellow pages of Frankfurt and Munich (the two financial centers in the country) and sent a “blind application” to every single financial institution in both cities, only varying my application slightly. I did get a couple interviews and a job at a small but powerful Swiss company that I would not even been aware of if I had not chosen this approach.

Obviously I wouldn’t advise that exact approach for online dating. But to some extent it’s a numbers game for sure.

Second point, already made earlier in this “gift that keeps giving thread”: “If I heat up a cheeseburger and she gets all excited the summit is near. If she expects a 6 course meal to even consider dignifying me with a reply you are in for a loooooong, rocky journey.” Not everyone is necessary looking for their forever soulmate someone at all times.

Third point: Fakes and Fraudsters can easily feign “real interest” by picking 2-3 things from your profile and referring to it in their first message. It proves absolutely nothing. True interest and attentiveness is tougher to fake as the correspondence progresses.
Personally I feel starting with a middling effort and then ramping it up when justified is perfectly fine. No need to go “all in” right away.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Feb 20, 2024

Some of your points sort of make sense to me, but i am not sold.
To me, just being on the internet is an acknowledgment of "the numbers game," in that it increases ones exposure exponentially. To use your example, a profile that is like a one line ad with a name and address just declares ones existence, it provides nothing specific to latch onto, nor does it demonstrate any significant effort.

To me, a big difference between looking for a job vs looking for a mate (defined anyway one likes), is one can research a business or company without their involvement, whereas an individual is pretty much the only source of information about their self (unless they're a celebrity or one is an accomplished stalker?).

It comes back to the same issue for me. If i receive a blanket, cut and paste message, it's like receiving junk mail. It can work if it leads me to a profile where the person has made some effort at self expression and disclosure. If there is nothing there as well, to me, it's just junk mail.

i put a ton of effort into my profile, i'm looking for the same from someone else. Something that makes me crazy is people who expect the other person to do all the work, both of self disclosure and disclosing them.

Profile: "I never know what to write in these things, but i'm an open book, ask me." What this person fails to realize is they may be an "open book," but the pages are all blank. People who go to a book store are there with the intent of finding 'a good book to read,' they're not going to invest in a book that doesn't even have a prologue.

i just don't see it. i think the comparison falls apart, i don't think intimate relationship, even a one night hook up, is comparable to seeking a job. But even with that analogy, the seeker is sending out a resume that has all sorts of info on it, they are not sending out just their name and address expecting a potential employer to do all the work of finding out who they are and what they are about.

As an aside. Many resumes now are online and are reviewed by a computer before they are even glimpsed by human eyes. The computer is set to look for specific things in the resume that meets the job criteria. If those items are not in the resume, it doesn't get past the machine and into a persons hands.

p.s.
in my experience, "fakes and fraudsters" are almost as lazy as cut and paste people... actually, i've found they are simply more refined cut and pasters. It usually only takes one or two exchanges to identify them.