i'm a 'bottom' gay guy who came to see his sub side because a few Dom's found doors in me and opened them. To me it seems they 'collared' what they found and i submitted, though retrospectively, i can trace my "sub" nature and my attraction to dom guys back to early childhood (6 or 7). i guess that sort of sums up my experience in D/s speak? It doesn't begin to describe how profound and powerful the Dom is to me who evokes and enlivens the sub in me though. That,to me, is penetration and 'insemination' on a different level.
The more i read on sites like this, the more i wonder about the labels "Dom" and/or "sub." They seem more like a starting place than an exhaustive summation. i don't want to misrepresent myself by saying "i am sub," so i qualify that i have sub in me and what that means is discovered in interaction? i pretty much view a Dom who approaches me the same, it takes time and communication to start to see who a person is, so instant Dom or sub strikes me as fake and/or ignorant.
As i see it, in order for someone to "submit," there has to be 'someone' there doing the submitting. i am "someone." Force or bullying do not open me, they shut me down. i read a lot of entries on D/s sites; guys using the label "dom," expecting automatic obedience with no foundation of relationship (and no effort on the part of the 'dom')? Guys identifying as 'sub' saying they want to be forced to do stuff. To me, that reduces a sub (and the D/s relationship) to something like a convenience store that a thug robs at gunpoint. i'm a person who is bottom/sub, i'm not a convenience store. On the other hand, where there is a bond of trust, i can be very convenient.
i'm not afraid to be transparent, naked... vulnerable, though i don't wear my heart on my sleeve. i am more inclined to walk through open doors than stand on the outside looking in. i see open, honest vulnerability, as an exchange, not a one-sided bleed, so i look for balance. To me, the essence of intimate relationship is to know and be known. We don't have to hide from someone when love is foundational, and i believe "love" should be universally pursued and practiced. Eh, am i allowed to use the "L" word in a profile? i'm not being fanciful, i think love has a very practical side.
i'm a critical care nurse by profession (i work 13 hour shifts, so cannot be very active while working)
i am financially secure and stable, People looking for someone to exploit financially are a major turn off for me. i think each has to be self sufficient to have a whole relationship.
i am healthy poz undetectable.
i do not think we should compromise with something as central as our sexuality, you or me. i think equating compromise with "love" is one of the reasons so many relationships fail. Intimate relationships have enough areas where we have to compromise, like what to have for dinner or what temp to set the thermostat. i don't want you to do or be anything sexually that you do not want or need, nor to i want to have that expectation placed on me. To me, mutual desire is foundational in sexual/intimate relationship, so believe open communication is vital to discovering our areas of compatibility yin/Yang strikes me as an ancient explanation of D/s, i.e., "D/s" Top/bottom. i see the D/s dynamic as opposites naturally attracting and bonding. Where there is chemistry, there's fireworks. So, up front, i proffer that i am "total bottom with some sub in me, looking for a Total Top with some Dom in you." Of course, actual relationship is more complicated than those labels, so this is meant to inform enough to spur further discussion. i'm inclined to write books instead of profiles, so (believe it or not) i'm trying to be 'good' and not write a dissertation here. Psychosexually, for me, a "cock" is a"Top" or "Dom" and that means more than an anatomical feature. i think our sexuality is woven through the entire fabric of who we are, that it is part of ones nature with myriad expression. i see myself as a bottom, sub, 'pussy?' (lol, what ever you call the sexually receptive part on a guy), on the opposite side of the spectrum. i don't want to go overboard listing my kinks here because the only ones that matter to me are the ones that correspond to my Top, so i present that as, hopefully, a starting picture of me, a jumping off place for getting to know You. If i'm piquing your interest, i blog on the cage and have written lots of posts, many of them very open and descriptive about my kinks, so most have the advantage ahead of time when it comes to transparency, i have been quite open on this site and look for similar from an interested Guy.
i believe informed consent is essential to a healthy relationship, communication is essential, force or bullying shut me down. No PNP. i get the intended appeal, i've been around drug users my whole life, but have never partaken, i'm always the 'designated driver.' As a critical care nurse, i also see the effects when it goes wrong, not pretty. i'd rather be with someone stoned on grass than someone who is drunk though. Not against you drinking or partaking of grass occasionally, as long there's no substance habit or dependence. In my interactions i seem to be on the more open end than average and there's no way to list everything here. i love creative and imaginative interaction, so i am cautiously open and will discuss just about anything. i am against anyone getting hurt, but understand that one persons poison is another persons medicine. You're probably not going to convince me to take a beating though, i don't think i have much, if any, masochist in me. On the other hand, a specific (what i think of as "affectionate") type of humiliation/degradation is deeply erotic and bonding for me. One sided openness is a limit. i am very open on this site, with my posts and blogs, as well as this profile. i'm not ashamed of who or how i am, got nothing to hide. i'm self aware and open and expect that from someone who wants a relationship. Guys who are not self aware or who don't know how to articulate about their thoughts, feelings, as well as listen and hea,r are not relationship material.
Covid wasn't enough, now we have Puken (aka "Putin"), an ironic reincarnation of Hitler, trying to bully the world. Holy fuck, the world needs to find a way to rid itself of such immature, sociopathic monsters. We cannot afford to have evil people in control of nuclear weapons. Fuck! We have such a beautiful world and could be creating art and beauty, instead we squander our resources on death and destruction. Why doesn't the human race grow up?