other male

Albany, Oregon, United States
Relationship status
About me

i'm a 'bottom'  gay guy who came to see his sub side because a few Dom's found doors in me and opened them.  To me it seems they 'collared' what they found and i submitted, though retrospectively, i can trace my "sub" nature and my attraction to dom guys back to early childhood (6 or 7).  i guess that sort of sums up my experience in D/s speak?  It doesn't begin to describe how profound and powerful the Dom is to me who evokes and enlivens the sub in me though. That,to me, is penetration and 'insemination' on a different level.

The more i read on sites like this, the more i wonder about the labels "Dom" and/or "sub."   They seem more like a starting place than an exhaustive summation. i don't want to misrepresent myself by saying "i am sub," so i qualify that i have sub in me and what that means is discovered in interaction?  i pretty much view a Dom who approaches me the same, it takes time and communication to start to see who a person is, so instant Dom or sub strikes me as fake and/or ignorant.

As i see it, in order for someone to "submit," there has to be 'someone' there doing the submitting. i am "someone."  Force or bullying do not open me, they shut me down. i read a lot of entries on D/s sites; guys using the label "dom," expecting automatic obedience with no foundation of relationship (and no effort on the part of the 'dom')? Guys identifying as 'sub' saying they want to be forced to do stuff.  To me, that reduces a sub (and the D/s relationship) to something like a convenience store that a thug robs at gunpoint. i'm a person who is bottom/sub, i'm not a convenience store. On the other hand, where there is a bond of trust, i can be very convenient. 
i'm not afraid to be transparent, naked... vulnerable, though i don't wear my heart on my sleeve. i am more inclined to walk through open doors than stand on the outside looking in.  i see open, honest vulnerability, as an exchange, not a one-sided bleed, so i look for balance.  To me, the essence of intimate relationship is to know and be known.  We don't have to hide from someone when love is foundational, and i believe "love" should be universally pursued and practiced.  Eh, am i allowed to use the "L" word in a profile? i'm not being fanciful, i think love has a very practical side.

i'm a critical care nurse by profession (i work 13 hour shifts,  so cannot be very active while working)
i am financially secure and stable, People looking for someone to exploit financially are a major turn off for me.  i think each has to be self sufficient to have a whole relationship.   
i am healthy poz undetectable.
BDSM and me
yin/Yang strikes me as an ancient explanation of D/s, i.e., "D/s" Top/bottom. i see the D/s dynamic as opposites naturally attracting and bonding. If there is chemistry there's fireworks.i qualify that i am "total bottom with some sub in me looking for a Total Top with some Dom in you," but, of course, actual relationship is more complicated than those labels, so it's hard to know how much or little to put here?  i'm inclined to write books instead of profiles, so i'm trying to be good here lol.  i want to be/become the "total bottom/sub" in a D/s, Top/bottom dynamic for Someone Who identifies on the other end of the spectrum from me, but i understand that is a generalization. To me, there's a very practical side to lasting relationship and i think chemistry plays a big role.  Psychologically for me, a "cock" is a"Top" or "Dom" is more than an anatomical feature, it is their nature with myriad expression.  i don't want to go overboard listing my kinks here because the only ones that matter to me are the ones that correspond to my Top, so i present that as, hopefully, a starting picture of me, a jumping off place for getting to know You.
i believe informed consent is essential to a healthy relationship, communication is essential. No PNP. i get the appeal, i've been around drug users my whole life, but have never partaken, i'm always the 'designated driver.' i'd rather be with someone stoned on grass than someone who is drunk though. Not against you drinking or partaking of grass, as long there's no substance habit or dependence.  In my interactions i seem to be on the more open end than average and there's no way to list everything here. i love creative and imaginative interaction, so i am cautiously open and will discuss just about anything. i am against anyone getting hurt, but understand that one persons poison is another persons medicine. You're probably not going to convince me to take a beating though, i don't think i have much, if any, masochist in me, though a specific type of humiliation/degradation is deeply erotic for me.
What's new
Took a hiatus from The Cage. i think maybe a combination of exhaustion from taking care of Covid patients and being a gay guy on a mostly hetero site were major factors. 
Update date
Monday, September 13, 2021
Member since
Friday, October 11, 2019
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