nettiK
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8 months ago •
Mar 9, 2024
New dynamic
How did you begin your dynamic? What words were used? Who made the first move? Or if you're new how do you imagine this scenario?
I've had someone tell me I must ask him/her to be my Dom/me. |
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Innocent Me(sub female){Protected}
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8 months ago •
Mar 9, 2024
I don't believe there is one 'right' way to start anything...a relationship/dynamic/friendship/etc. I've heard of stories where Dom asked Sub, Sub asked Dom and with me and my Daddy I don't think the words ever came out of our mouth.
I am in my first dynamic, so it's not like I have tons of experience. Actually both my Daddy and I are in our first dynamic. We started messaging on here, moved to the phone and very quickly realized there was something between us. We were friends (I guess?) for a bit, then one day we acknowledged the feelings between us. I actually did so first. We just...spent a lot of time on the phone together, then one day we stopped and asked each other if we were going to do this. We both wanted it and that was that. I think we might be a bit different than most couples though. Our personalities and dominance/submissiveness seem to flow seamlessly, it's just...worked since we met. We've had conversations about our kinks, things we'd like to try, things we are never going to be okay with and what we expect from one another. We sorta eased into things and let it all happen naturally. It might also have worked so well because I am naturally submissive in all aspects of my life. I don't turn it on and off, it's always who I am. Similar for him, it's who he is. He doesn't turn it on and off, he is just a dominant man. When we got together it felt like two perfectly carved puzzle pieces meeting. There was no discussing 'submission' and 'dominance' we just....were. I probably did not help AT ALL. Sorry, that's my story though. lol Good Luck! <3 |
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fluffypoppet(sub female){Protected}
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8 months ago •
Mar 9, 2024
Re: New dynamic nettiK wrote: How did you begin your dynamic? What words were used? Who made the first move? Or if you're new how do you imagine this scenario?
I've had someone tell me I must ask him/her to be my Dom/me. I don't remember how my first dynamic started. I'm not sure who asked who. At first we were friends and he was a kind of educator for me. But it became more within a couple of weeks. More recently, I had someone tell me he'd expected me to ask him to be my Dom. We got really, really close- we're still great friends. But, I didn't know I was supposed to ask. And... I'm always afraid of losing a friend by entering a dynamic... so, I think I'll really struggle to ask ever. I am also no help. lol My opinions: - Use the words that make sense to you. - Be honest always, if that means communicating you want a dynamic, that's not a bad way to start one no matter which side of the slash expresses it. - If someone says you must ask, that sounds like an invitation or an expression of need. (I respect that too.) |
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Innocent Me(sub female){Protected}
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8 months ago •
Mar 9, 2024
Re: New dynamic fluffypoppet wrote: nettiK wrote: How did you begin your dynamic? What words were used? Who made the first move? Or if you're new how do you imagine this scenario?
I've had someone tell me I must ask him/her to be my Dom/me. I don't remember how my first dynamic started. I'm not sure who asked who. At first we were friends and he was a kind of educator for me. But it became more within a couple of weeks. More recently, I had someone tell me he'd expected me to ask him to be my Dom. We got really, really close- we're still great friends. But, I didn't know I was supposed to ask. And... I'm always afraid of losing a friend by entering a dynamic... so, I think I'll really struggle to ask ever. I am also no help. lol My opinions: - Use the words that make sense to you. - Be honest always, if that means communicating you want a dynamic, that's not a bad way to start one no matter which side of the slash expresses it. - If someone says you must ask, that sounds like an invitation or an expression of need. (I respect that too.) We are the best helpers. Haha I agree with Poppy's advice. ^_^ |
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TopekaDom(dom male)
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8 months ago •
Mar 9, 2024
You must?
Sounds like they want to be chased and captured. It all depends on how you feel about that. Me, I don't chase. Part of the surrender is offering up their neck to me. |
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bdsamworld(sub female){collared}
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8 months ago •
Mar 11, 2024
Every dynamic and how they begin is different. You'll have some people who say it has to be the s-type who asks the D-type. For others it's the D-type who has to ask the s-type. It's something that is normally discussed during negotiations if it's important who asks who.
I let the Dominant Im talking to ask me. I might ask what their intentions are (if they haven't made them clear) after a certain amount of time. But I leave it up to them to indicate that they'd like to enter into a dynamic (after negotiations). If someone is being pushy about it, communicate with them/ask why its important. Communication is a necessity for dynamics so... Talk to them. |
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| farashacaveluv |
8 months ago •
Mar 11, 2024
You should always form a friendship before even considering going into a d/s dynamic with someone unless you are paying for the service. No games. No jumping into the dynamic.
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Miki(masochist female)
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8 months ago •
Mar 11, 2024
Never been in a relationship let alone a dynamic but I'll be the echo in the room. There is no "official" way of starting a dynamic. One should always know the other fairly well before even getting into such things. Most of the time, if both are into this crap, the topic will come up on its own. Wearing leather or black with a choker seems to hint at tyour preferences. If the other is of like mind, they'll pick up on it.
Worked for me when I was active and out looking for one-nighter or "weekend playmates" but as always, your results may vary. |
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