Submissive Male Persona

Submissive Male Persona

lambsone • Mar 12, 2024

Can a male submissive still have a strong male persona?
Or at least what you perceive to be a strong male persona.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Mar 12, 2024

Oh yeah, easy.

When I used to hang with a online group that met in STL once or twice a year, there was this Domme who had a hubby sub. Great guy, doted on the Domme hand and foot. Loved the cane and porcupine needles.

Guy was an ex Ranger. His resting bitch face was always a scowl and was always running his eyes over the crowd, to see who was good and who wasn't. I always kept on his good side cuz I knew he would mop the floor with me.

aradialspire​(dom femme) • Mar 12, 2024

Many of my subs have been your traditional, masculine dominant males in their regular lives!

We have many archetypes of the "manly" submissive, like the majordomo or the knight errant. A man can serve without being feminized or parted from his masculine identity.

For many men on that side of the slash, it's a pressure release. A place to let go and be free. That's why I always joke that having a male submissive is like taking a tiger for a walk; it can change its mind at any second and maul you, but it chooses not to.

That's why it's fun 😈

Knightsundere​(sub male) • Mar 12, 2024

I personally consider masculinity to be a set of traits and principles (persistence, dedication, willpower, stoicism, brotherhood) that are completely compatible with a submissive relationship, so yes, absolutely. Lotta ways to slice the cake that is submittal but there are plenty of routes where the desire to be at the mercy of a higher doesn't get in the way of a manly sense of self. Spiritually connecting with someone feels much better when the connection isn't flimsy on one side c:

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Mar 12, 2024

This.

I've taken both roles over the years. And it has been the most amazing fun when I've dominated men. I always felt there was a knife edge. A war of sorts between their masculinity, and their submission. And it was interesting discussing that with those men. Sometimes, I feel men on the scene who bluster about their dominant nature etc are a little like men who are homophobic. The bluster is, hmm, not quite a denial, but a lack of imagination and willingness to explore perhaps another facet of their sexuality. Or perhaps a lack of understanding that submission doesn't necessarily negate or diminish masculinity.

I think there has been a great shift away from what women see as masculine too. Less about brawn, strength, and the 'hunter' traits. More about what the horsey folk amongst us might call 'passive leadership'. Quiet competence, dependability, consistency. There has been a huge shift away from gender trait stereotyping.

lambsone • Mar 12, 2024

Aradialspire:

I like that example of taking a tiger for a walk.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Mar 12, 2024

My mentor decades ago told me "It takes a strong man to stand tall, even when kneeling" it was like a light bulb went off in my head. Years of short term relationships that didn't work and that one line brought it all home for me.
I don't (personally) like doormat submissives for myself. I don't want to wipe my feet on him, I don't want to walk all over him just because he is submissive. I want fight and strength and power. I practice power exchange, for myself if he is compliant and doormatish, there is nothing for me to "TAKE" there is no push and pull, no give or take. No power exchange. I need power exchange, not dominance over a sub. My primary sub of 26 years is no push over to everyone else. He is very Alpha in the streets and betta in the sheets.

lambsone • Mar 13, 2024

Very interesting Miss Bonnie.

Steellover​(sub male) • Mar 13, 2024

Well SAID! Upvote times a thousand?

Miki​(masochist female) • Mar 13, 2024

New take on "The Duality of Man" I guess.

Most of the sub males I ran into over the years were "regular men" when out and about in the world and switch gears dramatically in the bedroom.

I mean complete with muscle shirts, dapper suits or plaid flannel outside and in the boudoir bare ass and bending over begging for a pegging. (That's where I exit, stage left.) I mean, I'm quite used to wearing and deftly using a strap-on but only for girl-on-girl, back in the day, of course. -- now I'm almost inclined to join the nuns.

Totally can't go in through the out door on a guy. Besides, since I can't hear I'd miss out on what I'm told is a lot of grunting and moaning.

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But all that crap aside, I think it's more than commonplace for people, not just sub males, to live and act mainstream in public and especially on the job and let it all hang out in private. I was the same when active. Twisted sexual masochist, hungry for a good bound flogging or paddling, but out in the world I affected the stereotypical snooty, "hit-on-me-and-I'll-kick-your-ass" professional Asian bitch.

The operative is professional. None could ever guess what I did when the shades were down.

Letting on one's recreational proclivities in a public and especially work setting can have nasty consequences.