Trying It On Yourself

Trying It On Yourself

Villanelle​(staff) • May 12, 2016

It's hard to gauge the impact of your implements if you've never experienced what they can do, right?  But does that matter to you? Dominants, do you have a policy of testing your toys on yourself first?  Subs, do you expect your dominant to have tried something before she or he uses it on you?  Is it possible or even responsible to use a toy or piece of equipment without knowing what it feels like? What's your practice and what is the thought process behind it?

DBH • May 12, 2016

While I have used some of my toys on myself, in truth I will never likely hit myself in the way that I would hit my bottom. Try and hit yourself with a single tail like you'd hit a bottom, pretty much can't.  Now I suppose you could turn your toy over to someone to hit you with it but not being a masochist I am still not going to know how the sensation works for them.  I instead take my cues from the reaction of my bottoms and I practice with my toys to achieve the skill necessary to wield with accuracy and to hit to level, meaning that I can warm them up, then hit at that edge of 'this is almost to much', then back down, then back up in level.  It's really in playing with others that you learn your craft.  I also always get a debrief the next day. That in turn means that I am learning something about the tool or the bottom or both with each scene.  Have I never had a bad hit, of course not but hitting myself would not have prevented that. What largely prevents that is practice, throwing a flogger until you can brush or stroke or thud or sting, throwing a whip countless times until I can keep the strikes in a very small area no matter which throw I am using, practicing ties until they have even tension and proper structure etc. That is where the safety we seek is to be had. 

Rod​(dom male) • May 13, 2016

I would have to agree that for the most part while you can test an item you cannot ever really simulate full use and that is certainly no replacement anyway for the care and attention during play. Of course there are a variety of different things you can test and I would encourage anyone using clamps in particular, even regular clothes pegs to try them on themselves so you know just how intense the effect is. This is of course especially important for anyone starting out, reading about something or seeing it online and using it on a real person are very different things and unfortunately a lot of the professional BDSM videos show hardened veterans who can take way more than the average newbie!
Try those clothes pins on yourself and you may think twice before launching in on your trusting girlfriend...

Orgazmo​(dom male){serenity m} • Apr 10, 2017

You never know how something will affect someone psychologicaly (though knowing the person and their history can give you a better sense) but trying some implements on yourself can help you judge how much impact (and at what intensity) it may have.

ObviousEnigma​(sub female) • Nov 17, 2017

I really enjoy this discussion. Especially the two points being brought up. The first as equally valid as the second.
That is correct that you would hesitate and be unable to hit yourself the same unreserved way (unless you have just gone to town and made it happen) you would hit a sub, so learning from her and trusting she will be honest in her reactions I feel (in theory) would be a great technique.
I also feel that adding to that to at least grasp what it will be like to come to a deeper connection with you sub is an oddly romantic and beautiful concept. I like the idea that incorporating both of these pushes the limits psychologically.
Everybody was so well spoken and offered such good advice!!!

Kal Foster​(dom male){felicia} • Nov 18, 2017

I have tested each impact implement on myself in private before striking Felicia with it. Usually, I hit my forearm and my own thigh with varying degrees of strength. It’s good to know the thud factor, the sting factor, how to achieve that perfect “clap” sound, and a rough idea of where the line is between “ouch” and “HOLY FUCK!” As her Dom, I feel this is responsible planning and an understanding of the tools. Before you play in a concert, you practice your instruments.

Generally, I find striking yourself is not nearly the same as being struck by someone, but it still provides a bit of a gauge.

Once, and only once, after using a variety of paddles on her, I invited her afterward to strike me as well, mostly out of curiousity. I learned very quickly I am NOT the pain slut my baby is. She continues to amaze me.

evergrey​(sub female){Ashigeru} • Nov 19, 2017

I think it's important to have a ballpark idea about what it feels like and how easy it is to make it hurt, if it is that kind of toy. I always tested things like that on myself when I was a pro domme.
Of course, there are factors that make it different for the bottom or sub:

1. You are probably hitting them in different places than you are going to be hitting yourself, unless you have someone else hit you in those places.
2. Everyone's pain threshold is different.
3. You aren't in subspace at the time.

Still, knowledge is good. The more you know, and the more you can gain an understanding of the other side, the better.

flyssub​(sub trans woman){yes collar} • May 7, 2018

hi as a sub and builder of all our equipment ie furniture impact electrical i always try it on me even to elect5ric whinch hoisting me up by ankles and yes all works

DrWakko • May 7, 2018

I don’t believe in testing toys on myself. I experience pain differently than someone who enjoys the impact.

To me what matters more as a Top is how well I know the toy. Do I know what the flogger falls are made of and are they stingy or thudy. Do I know where I need to stand to get the desired impact. Do I have a good temp in my crock pot for the wax scene.

Really it doesn’t matter how you test and understand your equipment what matters is that you understand the toys you use.

rosethorn​(sub female) • May 7, 2018

its important to consider the weight too not just what the item is, ive had one or two give a paddle ive got a go and its brutal as its raised and weighted as well as flexable, considering the follow through of it rather than just the impact would help too.