My 1st sub

My 1st sub

SolCal​(dom male) • Jul 23, 2024

Hello! 1st post, plan to be around.

I caught a Sub! Together for 3 years and it was pretty clear from the start. I've gleaned through selective stealth questions that's shes been trained before. We've talked and I've pushed boundaries to see what I could get away with, found none and we have pushed things pretty far already. So here I am to start her training! It's what she's needs as a high anxiety girl and I love her immeasurably. I have some ideas on my 1st order sexual speaking but I would like to hear what other subs would like or what other Doms have done as their first command to really establish that Dominance and bliss. She loves to be used, serve and will do anything...

lambsone • Jul 23, 2024

I'm assuming that you (both of you) have already laid a solid foundation of a relationship and have a good understanding of what each of you expect of each other and your relationship.

So ... the first Master I had in real life after we agreed to be together, started with a collar. He held it up and asked me: "Do you know what this is?" Yes. "Do you know what it means?" Yes. Once it's on I have to do whatever you say. (Kind of a naive response but you get the picture).

So he put it on me and we began to play at his direction. And I submitted. Fortunately he was a gentle Dom and I never felt endangered. He had to protect his reputation also as a city official and a custodial father of two kids.

Anyway that's how we started and my mind was immediately focused on submission when that collar was on. I also respected his position by my own choice. But the collar was a reminder of his Dominance and my submission. I loved wearing it for us and submitting to him.

Six Foot Four • Jul 23, 2024

Just have a conversation with the girl. See where she's at and what she's done and what she wants. Where are you at and what do you want? What couple goals do you have and how do you see BDSM integrating into your lives? BDSM is an intensely personal thing and it's about her and you and not what anybody else thinks.

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Jul 24, 2024

Amen.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 24, 2024

High-anxiety chick...

You have your work cut out for you.

Communicate constantly, don't wait for issues to develop and fester out of control. She might not fully know what she is in for as a sub. Or at least I didn't see anything about her experience levels. Not one for walls of text and these days even substantial blocks of the same----- I often skim.

But with the proper communication and also being a good observer of "body language" it should go well

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This from a non-dominant / non-submissive. But I have friends on both sides of the trench, so I've heard both sides as a neutral third party.

Aside from that, my first sub was out of a place called D'Angelo's. Found only in 5 out of the 6 New England states. Now I have one or two a week even though the damned things are getting up there in price and I'm cheap. When "out of town" I make tracks for the Subway.

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I just had to throw that crap in there because I am so hilarious.

CruelPuppetMaster​(dom male) • Jul 27, 2024

Something I always do early on, which might make a really great first thing, is require a Daily Affirmation. An Affirmation is a short pledge acknowledging her submission and my dominance, and I require her to recite it aloud daily while standing naked in front of a mirror in slave posture. Something like, "i am hot bottom, the slave of Evil Top. my body is His to use as He wishes. Pleasing my Master is my greatest satisfaction." Rituals are very effective at establishing connections and give the sub a feeling of structure.

Another way to immediately assume control is to order that she not wear panties without permission. Each day she must beg for them, and each day she wears the ones you choose (if any). It's daily ritual that clearly establishes your control, and she will be reminded of it throughout the day. You can also choose what she wears to bed. That way, her last act of each day is one of submission, and she is reminded of it every morning when she wakes up wearing what you chose.

Just my $0.02 but I would not do a collaring right away. Get to know her well enough to choose an appropriate collar and then make a ceremony of the event.

CPM

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 28, 2024

Well, CPM, that's one way to do it, and I'm sure there are subs who would joyfully comply.

Once upon a time that is something I'd have done gladly.. That was a turn-on.

Alas, by and by I discovered that I'm not one for full-time subbage, that being a "freelance" maso-girl was more my thing, but humiliation, or rather the thought and memories thereof, are still quite the turn on, even more than being taken to the whipping post (or similar). But both were "the shit" back then.

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That the idea of full-time sub-duggery was of interest quite a while ago was only ruled out because I am far too hard-headed and way too much of a smart-ass for that crap to work. [This last goes to your very wise decision to hold off on the "collar" while you and Sub see how everything shakes out. ]

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Always a pleasure to run across a dude on these boards who's quite probably smarter than he looks.. (JK) "hee hee hee" and all that happy horseshit.

CruelPuppetMaster​(dom male) • Jul 28, 2024

There are as many ways as there are players, and the right way is always the one that works for the two of you.
CPM