Honorifics

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 28, 2024

The guy wants to sign off as "Sir"--- well he can "sign off" however he wants.

A guy can even sign off as "Butt-Butter" if he so desires, but the bottom line is none can address you as "Sub" unless

A) you indicate that you don't mind
B)You're in an agreed dynamic with a given individual

Personally I seldom use the Block feature as "the blocker and blockee" can still see and react to one another's posts on these Boards. Blocking just keeps them from messaging you and vice versa, as is fair. While I never minded being called such things, that's my choice and dudes ought not over-generalize. Approach one another respectfully and if "less formal" appelations become desirable, then so be it. But not a moment before.

Just tell the guy (some of the inexperienced or primitive doms might actually not grasp this) ...that such terminology is not acceptable and if they insist , tell 'em to "go fuck a duck" and ignore them thereafter.

Blocking is at the discretion of each individual member. I just cited what I do and prefer. "That's Just Me"

LoveandDevotion​(sub female){Looking} • Jul 28, 2024

Yeah, I've encountered this before. It actually used to be pretty common on the online bdsm community I was in back in the 00s. That is, most Doms seemed to expect to be called Sir by any sub, as a respect thing, from the get-go, or Ma'am if it was a Domme, even if you just met them. Other titles like Master or Daddy were specific though, you didn't call anyone that but YOUR Master or Daddy (Some Doms did like even owned subs to stick with Sir of course.) This was circa like 2006ish? I think I was on collarspace.

So my story is I fell in love in a vanilla relationship in 2010, which ended last year. So when I joined the Cage here, initially I was going by those old rules, but quickly Doms told me not to and I even saw discussions elsewhere on this site on how that was a "red flag". So, message received, I stopped doing it lol.

But I do think it's a cultural difference, different site, different time. I like the new way better, tbh. The instant honorifics always felt sorta fake and forced, so I'm personally glad for the change. I'd rather get to know the man as a person first and go from there naturally.

chattel​(sub female) • Jul 29, 2024

I generally refer to Doms as Sir in emails and in private DMs in the chat room but not in the lobby unless they have given me a reason to do so. That's me and if you think that it is not appropriate until or unless earned, that is entirely reasonable.

My more common grievance is asking for pictures or a phone number before I am ready to give those. Stick with your boundaries unapologetically no matter what others think of them

SirDomCE​(dom male) • Jul 29, 2024

No...never. 1 time was enough let alone 5. Nothing was agreed upon...not consensual...no boundaries need to even be established. Best to move on. Good luck to you.