meaningless tasks

Bunnie • Jul 31, 2024

“as it's really rare to find a man who inspires such calm and willing obedience.”

lol tell me about it

I naively thought it would be easy to find again.

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Jul 31, 2024

I think that's what I was looking for... that you were just doing something that you didn't need to just because you were told to brought out the full expression of your submission and turned you on. That's what I was wondering when I gave her a meaningful task. Would a meaningless task be more meaningful? (Note to self: tell sub to sweep gravel tomorrow.)

Bunnie • Jul 31, 2024

“(Note to self: tell sub to sweep gravel tomorrow.)”

Lol

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Jul 31, 2024

Then, again... we're just getting to know each other. Meaningful tasks for now, but I am understanding the meaning of a meaningless task like never before. To be honest the mere act of a sub obeying whatever I tell her to do is arousing... yeah... but it's more than that. It's deeply touching. I mean that's the whole point of wanting a dynamic vs a vanilla relationship (to me) is to touch deeply and connect deeply.

It's a game I guess, as sincorrigible maintains (btw, why did you block me? Or, do I not want to know?). I agree we're playing roles to an extent, but that comes from an authentic quality of our nature and character. You're right, you are in every way equal maybe even superior to the Dom you submit to, but the desire to submit to someone you choose to submit to is real. I'd say there's games within a dynamic but the overall dynamic is no game. It's a fusion of souls, or at least the one I want to be in is.

And SD you hit the nail on the head for me about finding the meaning being in the act itself, the process, not the result.

So, so far, I think I've learned a thing or two, and thank you all for contributing to this discussion

Bunnie • Jul 31, 2024

It’s a fine-balancing act. I have been on the other end of the scale (my most recent experience), where it began to feel like he was just wanting a mummy surrogate.
My original desire came from inspiration in the man who was asking me to do the things I did. It was his inspiration as a person that was the driving factor.
The other experience felt like he actually simply wasn’t capable of, or didn’t want to, lead.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Jul 31, 2024

I hear you. The ones I find hurt the most are the ones who profess to be leaders, who have the appearance of great leadership and dominant qualities. But time reveals that it's video game playing. They perfect the skills then pick them up and put them down as it suits. After they've hooked you in. Only time tells you. But sometimes it can really hurt when you think you've been playing the same game, and are heavily invested.

Bunnie • Jul 31, 2024

My experience in that regard taught me that there’s a line of when asking someone to do things just to make you feel powerful, by jumping through hoops for you, can become detrimental to the overall goal.

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Jul 31, 2024

Yeah, I think energy needs to be matched. A D and an s should should catalyze each other. Otherwise, it's just a dry, stale, going through the motions. I hope you find your inspiration Bunnie

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Jul 31, 2024

I call that ego-domming when your dominance comes from a place of insecurity, that you're less of a man if you don't have someone under you. You use that person to enhance your own ego. It's more than detrimental to the overall goal, it's abusive. I'm sorry you had that experience.

blue haze​(sub female) • Jul 31, 2024

Some "meaningless" things can get me to calm down. It gives focus when I'm anxious, upset or stuck in my head about things. Repetitious tasks. However, this may also become an annoyance if I feel that it's just a distraction to, as someone else put it, get me out of their hair.
All that said, some things that seem meaningless can be impactful. I have recently been in a group chat with friends where we took a daily picture (usually selfies) and said one thing we liked about the picture and one thing we liked about ourselves. It seemed silly when it was suggested.
Realizing how few selfies I actually take of myself was eye-opening. Finding something in the picture was usually fairly easy (example: the light and shadows). Saying something positive about myself everyday was harder than I thought it would be.
It was an exercise that took only a small amount of time out of my day but had a huge impact on how I relate to myself and those around me.