TopekaDom(dom male)
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3 months ago •
Aug 3, 2024
blue haze wrote: In conversation with a sadist he said that he has to maintain a level of distance to be able to help the masochist get where they need to go, but that it's a delicate balance between care and disdain. He cares about the masochist as a beautiful creature and someone who has given their trust to him. He has developed feelings for long-term subs but he can no longer guide them properly through the dark.
In my not so humble opinion, a sadist who has disdain for a masochist is someone out of control. I do horrible things to people, not because I think them lower than I but because I want to see what they are willing to give me. I don't know if I have answered the original post or not, so here goes: Emotions have a big part in the lifestyle. I think D's should do this because they desire the best for the s types. The D's should care and even love the s types for what they do. Yes, there are those that have a tough time doing horrible things to those they love, but that is because of the way we have been trained in love. Here in the lifestyle, we have to understand that our love is different than vanilla love. We can love and hit people to where marks develop. We can love and violently ass fuck them. The thing is we can not use our love as a cover for uncontrolled violence. People who use that as an excuse are just scumbags. |
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intenseoldman(dom male)
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3 months ago •
Aug 3, 2024
blue haze wrote: In conversation with a sadist he said that he has to maintain a level of distance to be able to help the masochist get where they need to go, but that it's a delicate balance between care and disdain. He cares about the masochist as a beautiful creature and someone who has given their trust to him. He has developed feelings for long-term subs but he can no longer guide them properly through the dark.
Yeah, I'm with TD on this-- it sounds like bullshit, and if the emotion whoever this is needs to guide someone "properly through the dark" is disdain... well that just sounds like a psychopath, doesn't it? I've never felt disdain, though, with any sub I've been with doing any of the things we've done, even in degrading or humiliating them, I've never disdained them. Pretty fucking interesting... I mean I might let my disdain out, but it's for everything but her. Anyway, I loved your comment because it adds a lot to this discussion. |
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Susie Q{Daddy Ant}
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3 months ago •
Aug 3, 2024
I believe that a dynamic is such that it’s a relationship and emotions come into play on some level, usually intense because of the activity that goes on.
If it’s just topping and bottoming then emotions don’t come into play. Just my opinion. |
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blue haze(sub female)
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3 months ago •
Aug 3, 2024
intenseoldman wrote: blue haze wrote: In conversation with a sadist he said that he has to maintain a level of distance to be able to help the masochist get where they need to go, but that it's a delicate balance between care and disdain. He cares about the masochist as a beautiful creature and someone who has given their trust to him. He has developed feelings for long-term subs but he can no longer guide them properly through the dark.
Yeah, I'm with TD on this-- it sounds like bullshit, and if the emotion whoever this is needs to guide someone "properly through the dark" is disdain... well that just sounds like a psychopath, doesn't it? I've never felt disdain, though, with any sub I've been with doing any of the things we've done, even in degrading or humiliating them, I've never disdained them. Pretty fucking interesting... I mean I might let my disdain out, but it's for everything but her. Anyway, I loved your comment because it adds a lot to this discussion. Perhaps it's a bad word choice. He's actually quite careful with his sub. I've never seen him out of control with her. |
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Lalita
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3 months ago •
Aug 4, 2024
To understand the needs and feelings or his demands true his eyes..definitely the connection of emotions should be there..
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SternAlpha(dom male)
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3 months ago •
Aug 4, 2024
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DoseofCam(sub female){Collared}
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3 months ago •
Aug 6, 2024
Good question tbh,
I personally think there must be at least a little bit of emotions whether Its romantic or platonic to be in a D/s dynamic. Me as a submissive, letting a Dom see the deepest parts of me requires a little bit(a lot a bit) of trust and to get trust you need to know a person. By knowing a person you develop an opinion about them as well as some sort of emotion. There’s also a flip side. I love sex as much as the next guy. If I like what I see I would wanna bang. I don’t have to necessarily “like” you to want to do it. I would just wanna see that pretty face/bod on top or under me 🤭. So in conclusion, I agree with everyone that it honestly depends on the type of relationship 😂 |
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Lalita
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3 months ago •
Aug 6, 2024
You can not compare the love and intense and emotions of a Dom with a regular man. They both can have love for the woman of their dreams but both will love in diffrent way. One has that dark side which is what attractive the sub..not dark that he is evil or bad person.
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SirTOuTOO{~ 2u2 ~}
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3 months ago •
Aug 23, 2024
Well,... where do you begin with such a 'multi-verse' topic of ~ fun, training, teaching, learning & intimacy, ~ all of which in various combinations can lead everyone (both Dom & Sub) down many interactive, even emotional 'rabbit-holes'.
. Sometimes, you're just gaining experience in a particular 'kink',... when out of the blue a deeper understanding & emotional bond is made. Yet, on others with 'great expectations', they fall apart at the seams,... like a skirt which has been ripped off to prepare (her) for a spanking or play-rape scene.... and it's potentially all lust & energy, but there's no 'attraction' for the passion. . It's a 'mixed bag', ... the good thing is, at least we've all got some KINK in common, so we're one step ahead of the 'normies'. (wink) |
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bdsamworld(sub female){collared}
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2 months ago •
Aug 24, 2024
Re: Emotions & Catching Feelings Sweet Minx wrote: Without an emotional attachment, I couldn't submit or trust someone very deeply. Or even want to submit to them. Calling other subs: do you identify with this as well? Or nope? Are there dynamics that actually have no love, affection, attachment etc and are basically like a business transaction?
There are dynamics that are more casual that do not have love, little to no affection, and are treated more as a business transaction. There are some people who don't want a connection. I've come across it, but it's not for me. I NEED that connection to submit. Even during the dynamic if the connection is severed I feel like I can't submit fully. |
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