Depression

Depression

Sub Baby Love​(sub female) • Sep 20, 2024

Is it possible that subs or doms get more depressed than people just looking for shallow connections. I feel as a sub I want to serve but annoy all the fake doms because they jump right into sexual discussions. So I’m left feeling like I’m a terrible sub. Because I won’t submit”. I know that’s a typical issue for both subs and doms but I feel so useless. It’s like no matter what, everything is just a honey trap. And there’s no more deep connections. Even the connections I see don’t seem deep enough for me. I want my best friend to be my Dom. But feel like that doesn’t exist anymore. Guys play the game of saying all the right things just to get what they want. I’ve had so many of them that I don’t feel I deserve a decent guy. Like go on dates, getting flowers, go on picnics, bring me soup when I’m sick. Idk, it’s like meaningful intentional cute stuff. Where is that at?

Kelpi • Sep 20, 2024

The word chivalry is almost as dead as the Sumerian language. I have tried to pass it along but women today have thier own ideas of how they want to be treated and what they think love is. When a man holds a door open and gets bitched out for it he has to wonder why try at all. We see the bad boys treating women like dirt and they eat it up then why should we put on armour and answer the call to help when we know it will lead us to be ridiculed.
What is left of my heart goes out to you ladies who still search for Mr.Right or your knight. The ones who still remember the old ways and try to live by them are fewer and fewer every tear. We no longer pass down the old ways. It does us no good to try. The young ones have no need of it any more. Personally I have finally reached a place where I can rebuild myself into what I need to be. Not for anyone else but who I wanted to be. I now know the limits my body can take and it is time to push those limits farther. It feels good and I am ready.
There may come a day when I will be ready to have someone who will not only take my heart but also my collar. Until that day I will not just take who ever comes along and ask for either. Neither should you. Your heart is to precious and unlike gold or diamonds can't be found just anywhere by anyone. I remember cooking for my ex's and the joy I got just by making them smile.
Keep looking little one. He is out there and you should never have to settle for someone who does not know who you are or what you need. Sex is a great thing and so nice to have but when a guy can make you feel like you are a melting stick of butter with just his hands then he needs to go back to school. A look from him should send shivers up and down your body. His touch should tell you there are so many good things in store for you. More importantly he should bring you to heaven at least three times before he thinks about his own needs. Even if he is your master you need to be first and foremost in his heart and on his mind. Just as his needs are your first priority yours should be his. This may seem to be allot to think about but there was a time when it never had to be said it was just something we did.
For give this rant but I am old and this is just a part of me I do not get to think about much or talk about it anywhere but here. So do an old man a favor and smile for me. If it comes from your heart I will know and I will send one back to you. Just know you have more friends here than you think and more allies than you will ever know. Be well and be happy.

Sub Baby Love​(sub female) • Sep 20, 2024

Kelpi! This made my day. So on point it’s crazy. I’ve been with so many guys that I’ve paid and opened doors and I think I need to up my standards because they always end up treating me like total s”””. You’re so right, I should hold out for someone and stop entertaining these guys. There’s nothing more impressive these days than a man that actually goes within himself so much to be able to have a real relationship and be that person in a woman’s life. The kinda guy to raise daughters and be a husband. Most just say it and pretend to get in your pants I do not get if women would be mad at a nice guy. I would probably cry. Lol

bdsamworld​(sub female){collared} • Sep 21, 2024

You sound like a demisexual/romantic to me. When someone steers the conversation to something sexual shoot back with a deep connecting question and say "I'd rather get to know you on a deeper level before having a sexual based relationship." Also, when I'm seeking another partner I put that out there that I need a deep connection before they can get anywhere. That seems to deter some, but if they don't "follow" that I explain that I'm no longer interested because we don't seem to be on the same page.

Nightshade Ophelia​(sub female) • Sep 21, 2024

A dom who values friendship exists. It's tiring to sift through all the false starts and heartbreaks but you will eventually find the person who has the same values as you.

Sub Baby Love​(sub female) • Sep 21, 2024

Well jeeze, I think you’re right. Demisexual… that literally explains my whole life. Can’t actually “gasm (lol) unless I have strong real bond. Sorry if that tmi but acquired low self esteem from that for sure… and I’m getting better at getting real friends here to help guide me. And Show me that if they’re really interested they shouldn’t just ignore my feelings. Seems basic. But everyone’s different. I love this community, and appreciate everything.
Thank you 🩷

bdsamworld​(sub female){collared} • Sep 22, 2024

Definitely not a TMI, I'm the same way. Hahaha. That's why one night stands might not work if you've ever tried that. Good luck in your search. It's tough out there.

DidiRN​(sub female) • Sep 25, 2024

Maybe I truly am an old soul, this is exactly what I have been feeling when dealing with many D-types on any platform. I want to make that friendship connection first and all most of them want to talk about is either sex or instant submission. If I don't want to then I'm not a "true" submissive. I feel that empty part of me and I know what it is, I'm just working on learning more about it and me before I start looking for something serious. What I do know is that it needs to have more than a physical aspect. For me who they are is more important than the size of their dick.

PandaGirl​(sub female) • Sep 25, 2024

I feel this 100%. And that is why I have difficulty submitting. It takes a long time for me to be comfortable. I’ve only felt that one time for real. All the others felt like I was just playing a role. And that’s why I’m still unattached. It’s hard, but I will wait for everything to be right.

Queer Lovemaking • Sep 26, 2024

That's sketchy, at least. I would try to walk the person back to talking about kink specific interests. Like something you gleaned from his profile or messages. And when that is not there, time to step off and away. Cheers,