wanting more,

wanting more,

sugabomb​(sub female) • Oct 2, 2024

I seem to be missing something as a submissive.
my partner is trying to help fulfill my submissive needs but I feel like I’m still wanting more and missing something.
He understands I want to be owned and I’m very clear about how I want to explore more sexually but it just doesn’t feel like enough.
I’m glad he is kinky like me though, because I have a whole list of stuff I wanna try and honestly it’s nice to have a person backing me up and trying new experiences with me. But I really wanna find where the missing link is. Maybe I need him to be more dominant? Or maybe I’m just so whorish I wanna just be non stop. Sorry this was a random ramble, but is it normal to maybe feel like something is missing?

Drennon​(dom male) • Oct 2, 2024

Hey there sugabomb,

Welcome to the Cage! I am happy to hear that you have such a supportive partner. I think it depends a lot on the type of dynamic you are looking for. Just simply doing kinky stuff in bed, for most, will not fulfill their needs as a sub. It is great that your partner is willing to try the kinky stuff on your list. But there is a lot more to being a Dominant than just going down a sub's wishlist. If your partner is genuinely interested in being your Dom, I would suggest that they create an account on here as well and start talking to other Doms for advice. There is also a really helpful webstie called submissiveguide .com that the two of you can explore together to learn more. I think learning more about BDSM and D/s dynamics together can be a lot of fun and helpful for both of you.

I hope that helps get you started. Feel free to reach out to me if you want to chat more. I am happy to help where I can.

Kelpi • Oct 2, 2024

Well it depends on several things.Once i found S&M with my ex we found so many things we wanted to try and did. I found that I have hard limits I had to place on myself to protect her. To be honest there was something in me that woke up and wanted more and more and as much as she loved it I could not find a way to curb those desires or stop them. The darkness in me wanted to do things I would never have thought of. She left because I would stop at my limit and go no more. She had to find more to full fill her needs. Took so long to put the beast back to sleep.

We all have things we yearn to do and we seek more and more of things we need and want. I once knew a happy little sub who loved her vanilla husband but needed him to be a Dom. He wanted to be a Dom but his upbringing would not let him smack her ass like she wanted. It took a month of chatting with him and promises and a couple of legal documents sign by all parties that said what went on would stay private and I would never see them in public or contact them in any way unless asked by both. For several months he and I talked and we got him to the point where he would spank her then talk dirty to her. Then slowly came the ropes and floggers and toys. She became the happiest sub and he became a wonderful loving Dom. I got a thank you note a few months ago.

Sometimes we need to search ourselves and find out what we truly want and need. Other times we need a loving person to go hand in hand with till we find it. Either way you will find out who you are and what you want. Just be true to yourself and be honest with him. Nothing will kill your sould faster than a lie or a dark secret. Youtube is full of videos of that truth. So take his hand and start the journey together and see where it will leed you.

bdsamworld​(sub female){collared} • Oct 5, 2024

It sounds like you might be experiencing something called Sub Frenzy. Sub frenzy is a compelling phenomenon that many new submissives encounter, characterized by an intense, almost all-consuming desire to dive headfirst into the world of kink. This exhilarating rush often leads individuals to explore various facets of BDSM with fervor, sometimes sidelining other important aspects of life, including self-care and relationships. For those who have long contemplated the idea of submission, this sudden spark can feel transformative, as if a new lens has been placed over reality, illuminating every possibility within the BDSM landscape. The enthusiasm is invigorating but can also be overwhelming; one might find themselves preoccupied with fantasies, eager to experience every kink without pausing to consider balance or personal limits.

So embrace this exciting journey with mindfulness, ensure that your pursuit of pleasure does not eclipse the necessity of self-awareness and the well-being of all involved. Enjoy the kinky things that life offers, but don't put any stress on it. Once you do it won't be fun anymore. Ease into, just like with certain types of play you can't immediate go for a massive dildo (ok some people can, kudos to them), but you should enjoy the journey and experiences. Go slow.

Miki​(masochist female) • Oct 5, 2024

yeah, sub frenzy.. I read about that in here and elsewhere... also sub drop, which is, for many, "the other shoe"

I also read a lot about partnerships not clicking on every tooth of the gear, so to speak. it is an adjustment best reached through open and thorough communication (where have you (rhet) read that lately??) sometimes as just "people"-- that is outside of the dynamic---and sometimes in character, as it were. And acceptance of limitations. But half the fun of any relationship, be it BDSM or Mainstream, is exploring and discovering.

As some car company puts on their ads (I don't remember which brand as I often look away from the TV to do something else or leave the room to pee or grab a snack when ads come on. Ads suck!) However back to the point,

"Life's a journey. Own every mile"

Miss Anima​(dom female) • Oct 5, 2024

You're topping from the bottom
You can't make someone into a Dom

Softnote​(masochist female) • Nov 9, 2024

If they are the leading hand they want this with you they would need to be willing to take the hand show the way you both evolve you both need to agree on it. It takes two to play together to stay together one can not do it alone it's a give and take both ways. If they are not willing then they would need you to allow you to find friendship or move to someone that can. But it the man or anyone can't do it find a women they can even do it better even being the lead.

Softnote​(masochist female) • Dec 2, 2024

Do one thing at a time not all things can happen over time but you got lifetime to do it.