New to BDSM

New to BDSM

heero2334​(dom male) • Oct 14, 2018

Hey I'm new to this life style and books can only get you so far. I would love help from been in it this lifestyle for a bit of time to get my footing.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Oct 14, 2018

Your profile doesn't say if you are after real time or online, both are just as relevant but the process can be a little different when it comes to the next steps. Your profile also doesn't give any clues as to just what you want/desire.

If I was to give the short answer (yes this is the short answer), it would be find YOU first, know what you want from your life and then your kinky life, what do you seek, what you desire and dream about (know the difference between them all) then how do you see yourself blending your life and kink together. It does sound simple but when you actually put thought into it..it can be a tangled mess, more so when you need to put it in some sort of format to present it (and you) to another, just to find out if they are interested in the 'maybe' potential. Once you get that clear picture then dive into a community that suits those goals. Most sites are geared to niches and needs.

If your after real time? Do you want hookups? or a relationship? are you a slave, sub or a bottom? How do you think that relationship will work?24/7? inside the home but not outside? bedroom only? How will it look to others? How will it operate operate? etc. Once you figure it out, like I said dive into that type of community either online or real-time, face to face. If your after real time, then take things that way. Join munches and clubs in your area. Scared to go alone? find a fellow sub to go with (but honestly, there is no need to fear what you desire the most) Does that munch group or club have a site they favour? Can you find others here at caged that use those events? If your after online, build your yourself, your digital profile, use the chatroom to your advantage. Get involved! stand out for all the right reasons. BOTH real time and online are going to take work and effort on your behalf. You need to proactive in looking. Save the reactive for when you meet your special Lady.

Best of luck in your search. Honestly if you break things down, its not as daunting. One step at a time. There are no short cuts, no tricks. ..granted there are few hints that help. No Femdom nirvana site where all the Domme hide out. Use what is in front of you. I'm sure you'll do well, if you really want this.