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Submissive verses Slave

Bunnie
2 months ago • Oct 11, 2024
Bunnie • Oct 11, 2024
Rianai wrote:
I know for me the difference lies in a few factors. This is the model that works for me though and I've generally found my interpretation of it isn't the 'in vogue' way in the modern scene.

For me the primary measure is autonomy. How much autonomy is the sub/slave surrendering? I personally measure this in my own M/s by whether I exert conttol (or have the right to) over 'big life' elements. If I can determine what happens with finances, property, social interaction or permanent body changes then to me uou've most likely got a slave. This for me ties into the idea of authority transfer. My current slave runs everything by me unless in predefined scenarios such as unexpected absence or medical emergency where the dynamic becomes 'reduced' or even on hold. It doesn't make sense in my concept of a slave if they can just decide what they are or want to do. If I'm in a D/s I'm well aware of where I can (and cannot exert) authority.

The secondary considerations is motivation. A submissive is more likely in my experience to want a more limited scope of service than a slave. A slave will almost slways want to be proactive and looking to serve in any way big or small. A sub will probably want to in limited or specific scenarios or durations.

I don't like the notion that a sub 'evolves' into a slave. I've met subs who I respect immensely and have been in BDSM for decades who won't consider M/s or being a slave becsuse it doesn't work for them or they have no interest. It's invalidating and insulting to them in my mind to insist they must or 'should' be a slave. To do so slso diminishes the worth of dubmissives as an archetype.

They're totally different motivations and mentalities required. You can't routinely switch slaving on and off and realistically expect it to be seen as slave. However it's insanely tough to be a slave and I honestly do nog blame most s-types for not wanting to commit to that


Love this, Rianai.
Rianai​(dom agender)
2 months ago • Oct 12, 2024
Rianai​(dom agender) • Oct 12, 2024
Bunnie wrote:

Love this, Rianai.

The way I describe this when training a new slave or sub is that they both require different strengths and spheres of dedication. Healthy M/s takes a huge amount of work on both sides. Ultimately it needs to be what works for individuals.

While not a lover of the "I can call myself whatever I want! even if that flies in the face of consensus and logic" mentality. There needs to be flexibility snf nuance. A binary point of any archetype is unworkable to me
OutAndAbout​(dom male)
2 months ago • Oct 13, 2024

Slave is not just one-sided

OutAndAbout​(dom male) • Oct 13, 2024
Steellover wrote:
To summerize (And this is just my opinion)

SLAVE: No-strings- attached housework. No-strings attached chores. Considered "property" much like slaves in the classical sense. Basically indentured servant. NO romance/love or affection. Little, if any, kink or fetish play.

SUBMISSIVE: May do housework and chores but, depending on the relationship, does so willingly to please their partner. NOT considered property in as strict a sense as a slave. However, still follows orders and defers to their dominant. Kink/fetish play are usually part of the dynamic. Romance, love, and affection can also be part of the relationship. In other words, less strict than a slave.

a DOMINANT plays with their submissive, and cares for them as a partner, considers them subservient, but still equal.

A MASTER orders their slave around and expects to be obeyed without question. They care for them only as property, or at best, as a boss cares for their employees. But usually not as a partner, and never as an equal. Again, there is no romance involved.

The dominant/submissive dynanic is more sensual than the Master/slave dynamic.


First, both dynamics can include varying degrees of sexuality.
But a true Master with a true slave is as flexible as vanilla relationships. Part of being a good Master is understanding the motivation and needs of your slave, it's not chattel in that the slave can walk away. You still have to fulfill them, do they enjoy service or seeing you happy, that can be a shared trait between both sub and slaves.
There is still, very much, needs and health factors that must be understood and met.
It takes a great amount of effort to be sure the slave gets what she needs, even if she defers for decisions, often without her understanding or fully expressing it.