Getting responses to messages

astrielle​(sub female){Taken} • Oct 18, 2024

I don't respond to a lot of the messages in my inbox because I can't manage multiple conversations and expectations. It feels overwhelming when I try. I definitely won't respond to messages that are unkind and/or creepy. Just being genuine will stand out enough, to be honest.

I can tell you that I didn't respond to your message because I read your profile and determined I wasn't what you were looking for. My mental health was and still is a work in progress, and I like to smoke weed. So I filtered myself out.

AlphaByDesign​(dom male) • Oct 18, 2024

I will ask someone about something on their profile that I found interesting and unique. I have found this to be a non threatening approach that builds rapport and shows I am taking a genuine interest in them beyond the boundaries of bdsm.
Women on here are more likely to talk if you don’t start with something bdsm related.

LoveandDevotion​(sub female){Looking} • Oct 24, 2024

I usually respond to initial reaching out. I sometimes don't respond to pestering when we've discovered we're not compatible. But one thing that's more likely to get me to respond is actually reading and processing my profile. I've had guys who skimmed it and came to the wrong conclusions about me and I've had multiple guys outright admit they didn't read it. That's an instant nevermind, we're done here.

Ingénue{VK} • Oct 24, 2024

The messages I like most are non-perv and from some of those messages we've been chatting for years. Because they didn't perv out and their messages are respectful while discussing all sorts of topics. And we actually have a friendship. So whatever. Doesn't lead to anything dynamic but they are still non-perv fun.

But then my current kink interest was a total perv. So I am happy to say that I probably don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

ladypatience • Oct 24, 2024

I myself have told men that have messaged me " now if I just met you irl would you have asked or said that to me" thinking about it that way could help a little. I mean you wouldn't walk up to a women and ask "so what are you into" which is a question i get alot. When i first talk to someone here I want to get to know them because if who they are is not a match for me than the bdsm and sexual stuff will never happen anyway. I think vanilla talk should come first then if you both as humans connect after some time goes by then you can bring up bdsm. If sex or bdsm is the only thing you seem to care about and talk about then as a sapio its a automatic no for me.

Steellover​(sub male) • Oct 25, 2024

^I would agree that getting to know someone, and what they are about on a vanilla basis is important. We are, after all, far greater than the sum of our kinks. But if you are interested, you can fill that stuff out in your profile, which, if I were to be passively interested enough in someone to contact them, I'd probably peruse first. Submitting not just to a picture on a website, but to a WHOLE PERSON, with likes, dislikes, loves, fears, hobbies, and favorite Star Wars movie, is a whole lot more meaningful and special, anyway. (And if they don't like any Star Wars movies, then it's a deal-breaker, ha ha.)

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Oct 25, 2024

This site definitely needs to upgrade and put a better filter system in place .
It would help stop the unwanted messages.

Draconic Demon{Taken} • Oct 25, 2024

Who knows, I send out a lot of messages. Some I take careful attention, share similar interests from their profile, and other times it's a more generic hello. I have found no pattern. I get responses from about 25% of people, I do normally reach out to woman instead of men.

We can't grantee anyone will respond no matter the content of the message, they may have other things going on or are simply not interested in chatting that day. I have considered a profile pic would bump up my responses, but right now I'm hoping to have deep intellectual conversations (or silly nonsensical banter) not how amazing my body is (joke).

I do respond to all incoming messages. Some of them have been great, other ones we have no similar interest and we both move on. Not sure if the quantity really matters in the end, it's about find a few great people and have a quality dialogue

silentnotes​(sub female){Looking } • Oct 26, 2024

I think in general if you message someone on here, reading their profile definitely helps, especially if they took time for it and you can work with it.

As for the "getting lost in messages" especially when you have a new profile that's true, at least from my experience, but I always take time to at least read the message and as long as it's genuine and respectful I reply to it.

Onlinedomguy​(dom male) • Oct 27, 2024

I think I have responded to anyone who has reached out to me over time. I prefer when someone takes the time to review my profile and if they decide to message me they include something that tells me they were interested enough to read what I added. I tend to think that most people deserve respect and responding to a message seems like the least I can do. Honestly I am not sure that I have responded each time, but I like to think I have. I have been on here for awhile and come and go so it could be someone may have reached out when I am not very active so I may not have responded fast.

I like when people say hi even if they are not looking but maybe want to chat about life or play or what ever.