Obedience

TwinkleEyes{N/A} • Dec 5, 2024

@Lambs

“I for one appreciate you sharing the truth about this preditor who pretends to be a genuine Dominant.” I personally appreciate the private message you sent me here a couple of weeks ago warning me about him. Noticing the similarities between him and the guy who sexually abused me last year. Once I read your message, it stayed in the back of my head and was used as a filter while his narcissist continued to try and break me down in order to use me. 🙏

“I won't be taking anything seriously that he says anymore, as I doubt he really wanted to be a better man in the first place.”
Agreed he has been romanticizing my ideologies/teachings (since July as his own) and the traumas he causes on females to feed his online pussy addiction. It’s a façade. It was all about him fixing his reputation. Which I was told repeatedly. My teachings and ideologies about kink were used as chum (presented as his own) to cat fish as well.

The 2nd to last night he was here his drunk (most days as soon as he woke up the whiskey started flowing in his coffee) narcissist started bragging to me how I had no idea how many women there are and how bad of a man he really is. Since he had started attacking my physical looks and blaming me for his alcoholism as well I already understood he is full of shit.

That last evening there was mutual consent for me using his passive-aggressive gas-lightening tricks on him. I became his sadist and he my masochist. Turns out he is a sadomasochist who wants to be punished for being a “bad” man. I hadn’t understood until then why he would go on tangents sometimes with self deprecating talk. As well as confessing his transgressions towards females going back to his childhood. I just thought it was more of his erratic behavior.

That last night was a weird and yet powerful experience for me. After he consented at the dinner table for me to use his form of gas lightening on him I tentatively began. At times he joined in saying disparaging and self deprecating things about himself again. Confessing more of his “sins” towards females. I watched the narcissist try to take control (physically grabbing me in the casino and throwing verbal/emotional abuse at me) of the situation. Yet, the masochist inside of him kept winning because it needed to feel pain and be punished for his “sins”. As I needed my power back and he agreed to it I went hard on him the last hour.

Sometimes life is a weird paradox in this matrix we call life.

lambsone • Dec 5, 2024

Good night the plot thickens. I'm glad my experiences have been much simpler than that. I would have never understood all that nor been able to know what to do about it. Sheesh!

Sir Don​(dom male){Nt looking} • Dec 5, 2024

That is were having someone that is a true friend comes into play . To be the outsider looking in and have a neutral opinion.

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Dec 5, 2024

Wow... that really happened? Love to hear his version of these events. I mean what kind of lies do you think he'd tell about what happened? You poor girl. He sounds pretty fucking evil. Good on you too for outting this scoundrel. I'm really glad you're okay and hope you have better luck down the line.

Sir Don​(dom male){Nt looking} • Dec 5, 2024

It is better to remain silent and thought the fool , than to speak up and remove all doubts

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Dec 5, 2024

Says the fool who ought to hear what she says about him... but seriously as you watch the story changing, don't you start to question the reliability of the narrator

lambsone • Dec 6, 2024

@intenseoldman

I personally haven't seen the story changing. Rather I've seen it expanding to include more of the details of what happened. I do trust the narrator as I've seen the tip of the ice-berg for myself, and it seems consistent with the story unfolding.

TwinkleEyes{N/A} • Dec 6, 2024

@intenseoldman

“You poor girl. He sounds pretty fucking evil.” Bloody hell no I’m not a poor girl. 😹 I am a sadomasochist. AKA the best sadist Ive ever had. One of the reasons I out myself publicly on here for years. Even today I admit I went overboard on his narcissist, abuser, and masochist.

I willingly went on the ride with him. Genuinely thought he wanted to become a better man and was working towards the responsibility of that. And I deeply wanted to be his friend. Dropping him off at the hotel hurt. Being mean to him as hell that last hour hurt. I still like bits of him for there are good bits inside of him. What can I say my masochist likes some of his sadist too. I learned and grew during those 16 days.

In all honesty I hope he gets the help he needs so that he stops with the self destruction while destroying those around him. I just no longer will sit on the side line as I am continually written into the romanticized version of the trauma that is left in the wake of the chaos. As a person who experienced that on almost a daily basis while we were together. The abuse love bombing cycle. I started to question my own judgment 5 days in.

I have the right to express my feelings and emotions. He kept telling me I was sensitive for having them. In actuality I am strong for knowing how to express them and take responsibility for them, when they are incorrect. Also, I am taking public responsibility for being 1 of the many females used to cheat on his online dynamic partners with. I should have known better.

Funny though…. His version verses mine. Neither are correct. The truth lies somewhere in between each. And that is up to the eye of the beholder. For we can only see what we can see through our own experiences and knowledge.

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Dec 6, 2024

I fully know this isn't my business but I hate seeing the bitterness and vitriol. So I'll make it brief.

I think that personal interactions should be left private. No two people are the same and no two people are without fault. Each situation is unique and may never be duplicated or repeated. This is a public forum, basically an online record, and it colors peoples opinions. Maybe it's beneficial and maybe it's detrimental. Please consider that.

To the 'adults' in here, stay out of it and let them be. You don't know all the details and neither do I, and we shouldn't. Both parties can seek support from friends privately which is how it should be. Adding more fuel to the fire doesn't help anyone.

Exactly what twinkle eyes said above - both versions are colored by their own feelings and personal thoughts. Keep that in mind before judging anyone.

lambsone • Dec 6, 2024

@Sweet Minx

Thank you. Cooler heads prevail.

If anyone would care to continue the original thread on obedience and the kinds of things it is expected in relationships, I'm still all ears.