Mistress and slave

Mistress and slave

Click​(sub male) • Dec 13, 2024

I have a mistress that wants a commitment fee I've never heard of that has anybody else

Softnote​(masochist female) • Dec 13, 2024

It's a scam. The FinDom thing is a scam. No Domme would ever pressure you. It's not about money they need to secure their own life. You being new don't jump in to anything someone needs to get to know you respect you give you peace not a headache. I was only a switch but I had an honest relationship with a person. We went real for a while but I never asked for things they may have liked to buy, heels they liked on my feet they helped pick out or give a little but I never asked them for anything to make them go broke. Fine to give but nothing that is going to break the bank. You never met them or voiced and cam in mature matters but they pushing things is a scam. It takes time, money should not be the only thing it needs to be love and bond and trust slowly growing into more. You need to have mutual trust. They need to be emotionally invested before getting hooked. They need to respect you. No still a No set some valid boundaries. Close to the holiday you don't know if its a guy behind the computer or someone making them do it.

Commitment fees, dungeon fees and "i need to buy toys for us" are super common scams

To be fair, if someone isn't that well off and/or not in a good enough spot for playing financially (getting a hotel room or buying that really cool BDSM toy), it is acceptable to ask for money to be put away for buying toys and such.

The key thing is though, not to send it to your Dominant. A respectful Dominant would accept you putting away X amount of money each week towards that and they do the same. When both of you have enough to get the toy, you place the order together (or even better, go out physically and go buy it if you can). Don't give to anyone that just after your gold but willing to get to know you hang out or have time. These fin doms are just bored with life so they have to find a new excuse they scared many away.

But yeah. In the way this is intended, a "Send me money and I'll put it away to buy us toys" seems scammy and is either a scam or just someone who has little life experience.

TwinkleEyes{N/A} • Dec 13, 2024

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Villanelle​(staff) • Dec 13, 2024

If someone asks you for money, gifts, subscriptions, or anything similar, please visit their profile and file a confidential report. Financial demands are against our rules, no matter who makes them. Reporting these individuals helps protect others from being scammed, so we greatly appreciate you taking the time to do so.

As others have mentioned, NO, this behavior is neither normal nor expected. It’s simply an attempt to take money from you.

Villanelle​(staff) • Dec 13, 2024

I'll also add that we have a great article on money and D/s in our Magainze, "Cash & Kink: Findom, Pro Domination, Money & BDSM":

https://thecage.co/magazine,252.html

This article addresses many common questions about financial exchange in D/s dynamics and emphasizes that your finances can be a limit, just like any other aspect. While financial control can be a component of a D/s relationship, it is not mandatory and should never be introduced as a requirement in an initial conversation—this is a major red flag. It's a common tactic in financial scams to insist to a submissive that "this is how it works," or that tributes are required before beginning, claiming all dominants expect them, and similar pressures.

Anyways, I hope you check out the article and find it informative.