Beginners Luck ?

Beginners Luck 🤞

bi curious sub cub​(sub male) • Jan 10, 2025

Greeting Sexually Liberated Computer Friends,

I have been reading through these forums and, dang, everyone is so warm, thoughtful and helpful. It’s really a very welcomed surprise. Being new to letting this world be a reality to me, I stumbled into a few sites where folks were super creeps and/or trying to scam me.
For instance, I met a seemingly cool Domme who lived near me and she started giving me tasks after chatting online back and forth just a few times ( I’ll admit it was kind of exhilarating at first) and this lead to her asking me to buy her spa dates and gifts after chatting just a few days. She got super angry and said I was a terrible sub and not worth her time. I’m a newbie so, is this the way it works? Seems suspect to me. I blocked her. But it was fun for a minute and I’m not made of money and gifts. It was confusing.

Another question: is it an annoyance to Doms/Dommes for a bi person like me to be here? Does being or stating that I am bi suggest that I don’t know what I want? I am just a really open person and part of my interest in being a submissive is that I want just be my true self after all of these years of suppressing my feelings and desires. I am masculine most of the time but can swing to femme and places in between for the right playtime and the right Dom/Dommes. It’s a big world.

I have a hundred more questions but I will keep this first missive short. Hoping to have beginners luck and meet many of you beautiful creatures here really soon.

Thank you all for being you. It is inspiring!!!
-cub

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jan 10, 2025

If some "Domme" tells you to buy something for them, they are a lying cunt.

But that is just me. It is just the asshole in me.

and as long as it is consensual, who you have attraction for is up to you and the people involved.

Anyone who says otherwise, is also a lying cunt. (see the second line of this post)

Cello Trance​{for You} • Jan 10, 2025

Hey welcome man. I really hope you find what you’re looking for here. I have found this to be a wonderful website filled with very caring people.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Jan 10, 2025

Being bi is perfectly ok, of course there are bi phobic people here about and all over, but never mind their closed minded bigotry - you be you.

As to anyone demanding or suggesting you buy them stuff, talk about tributes, pay to play - report their ass to site admin if they are a Cage member - Cage does not permit this sort of thing here and you should not fall for this sort of nonsense, these sorts of scams and people trying to con you into thinking that this is part of normal everyday kink/bdsm, because its not. There is a place for employing a sex worker and those who are sexworkers but most of these so called dommes demanding money, tribute, pay for the dungeon/equipment are scammers, and not genuine anything, so no more an actual dominant than a brick is. These are people looking for an easy mark, to milk, using desperation and thirst to feed off, and sadly finding easy prey.

Report them, and let admin boot their asses of the Cage.

House Talion​(dom male) • Jan 11, 2025

The way it works.
Selfish dom/mes that aren't worth the time will demand tribute and/or submission before meeting irl.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 11, 2025

First, I will say my experience on this site over the years has been better than initially expected and just plain "positive" overall-- but as with any place Online or IRL populated by humans, you'll find your fair share of barf-bags on here.

The good thing is, most folks who want to behave like ass-wipes pop in, troll, and eventually leave or get the Heave-Ho.

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Secondly, it shouldn't be annoying to anyone, dom(me)s or anyone else in here to encounter someone who's bi, switch, etc. While there are people for whom running into a Bi or Switch has an "ick" factor, one generally wouldn't find those on a kink-friendly or other "adult-oriented" site as they're usually too stuffy to venture into these places. But if anyone is annoyed or made uncomfortable by a Bi individual amongst the membership they should (and so far from what I have seen) do keep it to themselves.

Just be yourself, keep interacting and being a "positive" in here and you'll enjoy your visits!

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Lastly, that "domme" you ran into and who started asking for you to buy her stuff .. that's a faux-prodomme looking to stick her hands in your pockets and leave nothing in her wake but lint or maybe a couple forgotten snot-rags. There's a right way and a wrong way to go about being or playing with a prodomme and that's not one of them.

Amika​(switch female) • Jan 11, 2025

As long as shitty people exist shitty dom/mes will too. Without any agreement no one should ask for money, sex etc.

MountaintopMaster • Jan 11, 2025

Indeed, you got "beginner's luck" in this way: You got to experience what a HARD NOPE is, right off the bat, and you get confirmation from the consensus of "the rest of us" that it's absolutely not okay to for a dominant to request that their submissive pay for stuff for them, and then call them a terrible submissive. That's unacceptable, and I would dare say the dreaded "they are not actually a dominant", but I will give reasons why:

Dominance is not about giving orders, making demands, or serving punishment. those are TOOLS. In fact they are rather crude, often ineffective tools, too.

Dominance is a life of leading by example, of setting an objective and achieving it. Dominance is an agreement between two (or more) people about the balance of power between them.

This person sounds like they are manipulating someone for their own personal gain. That is not dominance, that is abuse disguised as kinky fun.

I'll even play devi's advocate here: For some, what you describe is absolutely their kink. They actually want money to be involved, and they actually want to be called a "terrible sub" if they fail to deliver on a demand... Fair enough!

HOWEVER... You would enter into that agreement only having fully discussed exactly that, beforehand. I'm sure there are plenty of examples of wealthy men (and women) who have not found happiness in life despite achieving total financial freedom, and they throw their money around trying to buy happiness, but they need help to escape that trap of thinking that they'll be happy if they just buy one more boat or Ferrari or whatever. This person might turn to "financial dominance" in an effort to re-wire their brains to prioritize intimacy, service to others, and finding happiness through generosity instead of selfishness and materialism. So, maybe this wealthy person needs to be scolded for "wasting" their money on frivolous things, and taught instead, sometimes through strict punishment, to "invest" in the pleasures and intimacy between two partners.

See how easy that was for me to make up an example of how your experience might be perfectly acceptable? Except, obviously, this is probably not the case for you. If it were, you would have likely specifically negotiated both her demands, and the punishment you'd receive for not meeting those demands, and you would have felt some kinky pleasure from the process.

Anyways, I hope this helps!

bi curious sub cub​(sub male) • Jan 13, 2025

You all are the best! Thank you so much for your input and thoughts. i have a lot to learn and i you all are so knowledgeable and generous with your experience.

Hope this finds you all feeling sweet and spicy !!! - cub