Sub healing

DidiRN(sub female)

7 months ago • Sep 23, 2024

This topic gives me so much hope. I haven't been in the lifestyle long, maybe 5 months, but just educating myself and interacting with people that understand this part of me has been a huge help. I know I still have work to do, and it's going to be a lifetime process (as any positive change is), but I am working on it. Knowing that so many others are helped by being part of the lifestyle is a wonderful relief.

Queer Lovemaking

7 months ago • Sep 26, 2024

Nicely written. I want to experience love by means of respect, trust, obedience,and accountability. My aim is to freely give away what once was stolen in order to reclaimi it.

By example, I submit to a bare anal caning. Humiliating and painful and giving and joyful.

"There is nothing lost which may be found, if sought," Jane Austen, 'Sense and Sensibility'.

jillyvalentine(switch female)

6 months ago • Oct 11, 2024

SirsGoodGirl wrote:

Great topic! My view is that healing is down to the individual, whether that be Dom or sub (we all have our own wounds after all). It’s very much a non-linear journey, facing all the shadow sides of yourself repeatedly until you decide to break the chain. Nobody can do that for you, nor can you do it for another.

That said, I absolutely believe having healthy influences around you, in this case partner/dynamic, can support this healing process. There is a lot to be said for D/s dynamics and the wonderful enhancements it can have on your life where there is trust, care and communication. Whilst we all enjoy the fun, kinky play, a D/s dynamic for those who choose to live it outside of the bedroom can have no end of positive influence on your lifestyle, mindset and passions.

And in the interest of being balanced, I would caveat it by noting that the “wrong” D/s dynamic could also have a detrimental impact on your healing journey and therefore I urge anyone to be selective when choosing partners to engage with. Uphold your boundaries. Take a step back or remove yourself entirely where pressured, rushed, see the red flags waving, or even if swept up in the thrill - I would implore anyone new here to take your time, investigate and trust your intuition.

Wonderfully put!

dryfte(sub female)

6 months ago • Oct 15, 2024

Positive, healthy, constructive relationships of all kinds often displace hurts and trauma of the past. And these relationships come in a variety of firms. The challenge is the conscious and personal choice to allow it to happen. Many don’t for a variety of reasons, one of which is fear — fear of who one might become when we discard our past. Often we hold onto our hurts under the mistaken assumption it is part of how we have evolved to be the person we are today.

What many fail to realize is that letting go of the emotional baggage attached to an experience does not lessen the impact it may have had on our lives. But letting go does allow us to accept to the point of making peace with it to move beyond it in strength. And that is something we are often capable of doing on our own.

We owe it to ourselves to be safe, be healthy …. in all domains … physically, mentally, emotionally

jillyvalentine(switch female)	jillyvalentine(switch female) 3 months ago • Jan 25, 2025 3 months ago • Jan 25, 2025 jillyvalentine(switch female) • Jan 25, 2025 So many heartfelt responses on this thread.
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flitter'fly(sub female)

3 months ago • Jan 25, 2025

Re: Sub healing

3 months ago • Jan 25, 2025

Sub Baby Love wrote:

Ok, I think what’s been spinning around in my mind that I want to discuss is if anyone else does this besides me:
I literally know people with so much trauma that entered the bdsm community and they say it helped them. That it started healing them. And I agree, I haven’t stopped thinking about it. I realized the perspective was so beautiful….
And there’s a lot of fake doms out here. Manipulative men. I think we can determine for sure that there’s a line. But when it’s done right… by a real Dom (or dynamic)… it heals you and leaves you open and loved. Can anyone else find the beauty in this or just me?
I thought it was interesting and hope the perspective gives comfort to people besides me in some way.
How many people this as healing?

“Turning trigger warnings into kink”… think of how much love is there. So much love…Beautiful perspective. Xoxo

Absolutely...

The cage and the people in it.
This lifestyle and the more that it is.
Has completely saved my life.