age gaps

Heart of Persephone​(sub female)​{owned} • Aug 12, 2025

I do not give one rats ass what others think or say or how you will reply- you give off very red flags. to have been with a 19 yr old where you "found her" "mentored her" and "enjoyed her" WTF. 19 is barely an adult, and if she needed to be found she was most likely abused in some way. You want a woman to only be on your terms, you seem to have this "Alpha" mindset (which has been debunked). that you call all the shots, that there are zero negotiations, no regards to what she brings to the table. If a woman was to give you authority over her "bastard" you know damned well she is not in a position to be in any relationship to let another person rule over them. she is simply prey and you know that. this just shows how much predatory garbage is going on in the world.

tallslenderguy​(kinky male) • Aug 15, 2025

Been awhile since i have posted, but woke up at 1200 to pee, and found a Cage email in my 'box,' and here i am. Lot of random thoughts here, not expressing set opinions or conclusions, just a bunch of thoughts (and feelings?) this thread evokes/evoked.
i have lots of questions on the topic of age gap, and few, if any, conclusions.

When it comes to questions of morality and ethics, those things are hugely culturally influenced and defined. For instance, as the story goes, "God" impregnated Mary (seemingly without consent), and a whole culture grew and survives to this day with this as a foundational belief. Accounts of the cultural norms at that point in time had "betrothal" age for women at ~14. Either way you slice it, that may qualify as the biggest relational age gap i'm aware of?

i've read and heard the "frontal lobe not fully developed" info frequently, so figured i'd look up some form of scientific research/evidence on the topic and found this one summary with several study links. By no means an exhaustive treatment of the topic, but something more than me making assertions based on what i've heard/read... and remember Here's an excerpt and link:

"Is the age of 25 specifically significant for the brain? “The mid twenties number doesn’t come entirely out of the blue as it is an age where many different brain regions will have reached their maximum volume for example. However, this absolutely does not imply that the brain then stops being malleable to change nor does it mean that up until that point the brain would not be capable of functioning at a developed level,” Bethlehem and Seidlitz explained." https://www.iflscience.com/does-the-brain-really-mature-at-the-age-of-25-68979

i wonder about brain references and how complex the brain is, i feel hesitant to reach big or too specific of conclusions re social standards based on our limited understanding of the infinite universe of the body (i'm in healthcare), and the 'planet' of the brain? i think most world culture can be hypocritical about age. We deem a person 'mature' enough to go to war at age 18, sent there by politicians much older than 18 years old. A "distant" relationship with a lot of D/s implication? They are 'trained' how to maim, destroy and kill by older and more experienced adults, but having a social or sexual relationship is taboo.

One thing i wonder about on this topic is how our emotional seat is more (some?) in the 'lizard brain.' i often question and wonder how much our decisions and actions are emotional vs rationally influenced/based? There seems to often be a cultural attitude that rational/reasoned decisions are superior to emotional decisions. It can be difficult to parse out what is emotional and what is rational. Some theorize that survival evolved and has some dependence on emotion?

It's a complex topic, eh? i find it hard to reach black or white generalized conclusions, so many individual factors.

Dragon Sun God​(switch male) • Aug 16, 2025

I think we learn from experiences - both ours and those of others, hence why such topics become philosophical debates. If my personal opinion is of value, then I'd say that it is important to understand how relationships are rarely about love in its true Platonic sense, and are often about mutual exchange. So long as one party provides X, the other provides Y. We all sin in that to a certain degree. What separates Bill Belichick from Western Politicians is that his partner, while young in age, is not a minor, hence he is not some predator, to this degree at least. When we say, "be with someone at your age-range", we must understand that this stems from cultural preferences, and a different culture would have different moral values. That is why, understanding what the mutual exchange behind a relationship sheds more light on the health and reasoning of it, and whether such a dynamic should be condemned or not.

chattel​(sub female) • Aug 17, 2025

Several relationships with large age gaps exist or have existed where the woman has significant wealth of her own. Catherine zeta Jones and Michael Douglas as well as Bo and John Derek are a few examples.

I have served two older Masters in there fifties and find nothing wrong with a large age gap myself. Both were well off financially but neither was rich. Older men, Doms in particular, have a confident style that younger men generally do not possess.

Defender​(dom male) • Aug 18, 2025

I have always believed (hoped?) that The Cage is a non-judgemental community.

Yet too often I see judgement of other peoples' relationships on here.

If a huge age-gap relationship works for those who choose to be in it, I consider it to be none of my business.

And, because most on here do not want other people judging their own relationship, I resist the temptation to do so .

Fireblade​(switch male) • Aug 19, 2025

age gaps in my eyes depends from person to person, ive personaly been with older and younger, to me i dont care as long as there is a mutual intrest