JenX(sub female)
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5 months ago •
Aug 20, 2025
This a good question. Dealing with the aftermath of being sucked into games with a fake/insta Dom seems to be proportional to the disappointment and self blame experienced.
Personally, the first step is to validate my feelings about it and practice forgiving myself for being suckered by a player or joker. It takes a fair measure of grace to get over feeling like a total fool. Lol. Remember disappointment is loss, and all loss is grief worthy. It takes time to reach acceptance, so more grace and self-love. Sometimes, Iâve felt totally jaded and discouraged about the whole LS, so I deactivate my account and take a break. The next steps is reflection where I look for red flags and where my boundaries need to be better defined or enforced moving forward. Something that totally helps is participating in the chat room. If you set a goal to show up at the same time on the regular, you can get a feel for ppl, and it can become an actual community experience, that allows for support and venting. Hope that help. â„ïž |
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TopekaDom(dom male){Chaos }
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5 months ago •
Aug 20, 2025
It is utterly hilarious the amount of Doms replying on this thread!
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Bishop
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5 months ago •
Aug 20, 2025
TopekaDom wrote: It is utterly hilarious the amount of Doms replying on this thread!
Well, the OP didnât ask for replies from submissives only, and asked for advice in generalâŠbesides, if you were really concerned, why not post your thoughts instead of coming across as sarcastic? |
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TopekaDom(dom male){Chaos }
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5 months ago •
Aug 20, 2025
Bishop wrote: if you were really concerned, why not post your thoughts instead of coming across as sarcastic?
Good lord. Has it been that long since I have posted? |
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uncollaredkitten(sub female)
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4 months ago •
Aug 23, 2025
âYour question reminds me of the woman who was abused by her husband for years.â
Wtf why would you say that đ |
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intenseoldman(dom male)
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4 months ago •
Aug 24, 2025
This may sound simple, maybe even sarcastic (heaven forbid), but, how do you deal with fake/insta doms?
Don't be an insta sub. |
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JaredMayer(dom male)
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4 months ago •
Aug 24, 2025
Yeah, I agree with intenseoldman, even if I don't particularly care for his phrasing. Don't jump into kink right away. If they're unwilling to treat you like a person and an equal for as long as it takes to earn your trust then they aren't a good fit whether they're a douchebag or not.
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TopekaDom(dom male){Chaos }
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4 months ago •
Aug 24, 2025
intenseoldman wrote: This may sound simple, maybe even sarcastic (heaven forbid), but, how do you deal with fake/insta doms?
Don't be an insta sub. And there it is Victim blaming. Imagine that. |
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alwaystruly(sub female)
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4 months ago •
Aug 24, 2025
intenseoldman wrote: This may sound simple, maybe even sarcastic (heaven forbid), but, how do you deal with fake/insta doms?
Don't be an insta sub. Only a man would ever have the audacity to say this because they will never know what itâs like to be a woman in general, let alone one in a community like this. Itâs not even the obvious ones, the biggest fake/insta Doms come from men who think that theyâre authentic. They preach all of these values and things they believe in and stand for, but will then do something that goes directly against that, tell you youâre the problem and then ghost you. You are not a real Dom if you behave in that way and I know that. They however, go on in the world looking for their next victim and donât lose an eye of sleep over it. They donât view submissives as real humans with real feelings or emotions, we are purely discardable and replaceable. |
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Solace(dom male)
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4 months ago •
Aug 24, 2025
This is ridiculous.
I like Topeka. But this is stupid. The ladies are not victims. They made a choice. They're adults. We blame men when they think with their private buts but not women? Get a grip of the double standard here. If we want to keep all members of kink safe, we need to teach all members how to be safe. How to take safety in their own hands. And jumping right into something has for a very very very long time been the most popular way to avoid being used on this site. Ridiculous. Shame on you for turning good advice that would keep girls safe into a political toy. Alwaystruly, Wake up. The Crux of your argument is that men can't understand women because we are not one. If that's true, you can't understand men. It's a sword that cuts both ways. Fact is, we do get it. Ladies on here are not the are not the only ones who get used, or abandoned and heartbroken. It happens real often for us too. Intenseoldman gave the best advice this forum has offered. It would actually help ladies on here. Ridiculous. |
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