Self Balancing Kinks

Self Balancing Kinks

incandescent​(switch gender fluid)​{MAV-IV} • Sep 2, 2025

One of the things that I've noticed after examining my kinks are some of them grow out of deep seated fears or thing that I want to prove wrong.

For example out and about I'm intelligent but that's also been where I feel that a lot of relationships with me fall short. They see me as an organic thinking box. Search engine. Teacher etc. So my merit and worth for those people were connected to how much I could deliver on their expectations of my intelligence and connecting of random ideas and my ways matching knowledge delivery to their learning style.

I lost a few friends when I stopped being able to deliver or wanting more then just being the Encyclopedia of Brittanica.

One of them was puppy and being gently demeaned regarding intelligence. It felt safe. In a way it felt like if intelligence is off the table, do I still matter to the person?

I found one person whose answer was yes and I felt really really safe with them.

Do any of you have kinks that exist or may exist because of deep seated fears as a sort of 'self balance'?

Again I didn't consciously choose like a scientist ohh this is what I must do. Those sort of kinks just grew and continue to grow in terms pf preference.

Lilithz​(switch gender fluid) • Sep 4, 2025

I think its nice to be able to just exist. No strings or work required just enjoying your presence. Personally, I enjoy the feeling of being desired regardless of intellect, anxieties and without feeling like a peice of meat, I have a kink of being yearned for. Not in a way that makes me feel used or degraded but in a way that makes me feel seen, desired and raw attraction.

changeling​(sub female)​{taken} • Sep 7, 2025

Omg, yes.

It took me a while to realize that being Baby, or Princess, or Bunny, or His (in whatever circumstance) was a release from the identity of "the strong one".

So many friends and acquaintances have kept me in their circle because I'm the strong one. I keep a dry eye and a straight back through so many impossible life circumstances and people applauded me while I was drowning on the inside.

I could have a dozen things going on in my life that felt like I could crumble any moment and they would say "Hm, that seems hard, but you're so strong. You'll be fine. Please let me spend the rest of our time together telling you about MY problems and please be sure to comfort me." And I did.

And then a few times, the act broke. I was not strong. And a lot of people disappeared or pulled away.

But being gagged and blindfolded and used until I'm whimpering and can only be held and cared for fixes something in me for the little while that I get to have it. Something that I realized was telling me that if I can't carry every burden always, then I'm not enough. That I'm not worth anything.