Finding Connections Without Personals

Finding Connections Without Personals

tsi​(sub female) • Sep 24, 2025

Now that the personals are gone, I’m curious how people are actually meeting their Dominants (or submissives) on here. Do most of you connect through group discussions, by commenting on posts, or by messaging directly?

It feels less straightforward than before, so I’d love to hear what’s been working for others. How are you building those first connections and turning them into something more?

Villanelle​(staff) • Sep 24, 2025

I'll just pop in here and point out that our Personals section has been replaced with 'Seeking', a much more dynamic way to search for others. You can find it here: https://thecage.co/seeking.php or in your Menu.

Indicate your interest by visiting your profile and setting yourself to 'Seeking'. There's a section there to add details about who and what you're looking for be it casual, serious, mentors, etc.

I'm interested to hear what ideas others will share!

Miki • Sep 24, 2025

Though I don't intend to use the feature, it seems better than just a "personals" section in that if one sees someone they like on here and clicks their profile, they can see and read not just the member's "Seeking" information, but they can read other stuff on the selected profile page as well.

Personals ads generally need to be brief and at a "high level" because long, windy blahs can be off-putting to some individuals.


There are likely others who feel this way, but I'll only speak for myself:

I avoid most blogs and verbose forum posts because walls of text make me go more cross-eyed than I already am when I try and read small words that sharply contrast with the background on a screen.

The "Seeking" replacement for "Personals" has been around for a while now and seems to work for those who are, well, "seeking".

I wouldn't change a thing, IMHO

Anna Lynn​(sub female) • Sep 24, 2025

I, personally feel that meeting people on the web isn’t the best way to go about finding a partner *for me*. I want to experience the whole person from the start.

I have tried to make friends here using the seeking function and while I do have a few friends, I don’t find this working for me either. I keep having to explain the difference between friend and romantic interest and I’ve just given up. I don’t mind. I love the blogs and the forums so I am satisfied.

Miki • Sep 25, 2025

I wrote my post just as an observation as I do not use "Seeking" and never used "Personals"-- ---here or anywhere Online, for the same reason plus the unfortunate fact that one simply never knows what they will find Online, verified or not.

When I was active it was strictly "Locals Only".

But online contacts--- (I have 2 in here, actually) ---- for friendly conversation are pretty cool.

House Talion​(dom male) • Oct 1, 2025

1. This ain't the only site. Eveb the bad sites have decent ppl.
2. If theres a kink following in your area theres munches to attend and if not then you can start one of your own.
3. It's been proven to be easier to turn the vanilla kinky then to find the lifestyle partner you want.