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My kinks are beginning to scare me

BuddWeaver​(sub male)
3 months ago • Oct 7, 2025
BuddWeaver​(sub male) • Oct 7, 2025
MissBonnie wrote:
That’s a really important moment you’ve hit. Congrats — and it’s good that you’re pausing long enough to question it. When we’re deep in the chemistry of arousal and submission (that “joy juice serotonin cocktail”), it’s easy for fantasy to start feeling like destiny. But that’s exactly the time to slow down and take a breath.

Fantasy is meant to stretch imagination and heighten emotion — reality, though, has consequences you can’t always put neatly back in the box once opened. The dynamic you’ve built with your wife sounds strong and evolving, but big steps like cuckolding or introducing others need a clear head and calm communication, not the haze of denial and erotic charge.

Maybe give it a bit of space. Let the hormones settle. Revisit what you actually want long-term — not just what turns you on right now. There’s nothing wrong with exploring the fantasy in conversation, or even in a controlled roleplay, before ever making it real.

Sometimes the hottest fantasies are best left as fantasies — precisely because they keep that tension alive without risking the bond you’ve already built.


I absolutely love your insight into this. After a few discussions with my wife she said, "maybe you're just scared off how much you're into this?" And honestly that almost convinced me. But taking time to "let the hormones settle" seems like great advice.
B L O N D I E​(sub female)
3 months ago • Oct 7, 2025
From what I've heard, it will take you quite a bit of time to find the right bull anyway. You will probably get more clarity in that time to know if this is right or not.
SubStanChill​(sub male)
3 months ago • Oct 9, 2025
SubStanChill​(sub male) • Oct 9, 2025
Wise move to pause and take a breath. I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t do it, but I do think that it’s worth considering the additional risk this adds to your relationship.

For me right now, although I do find the idea arousing, (admittedly I’m newer to this than you) I can’t help but think about how at the end of the day, right now, this is still for all intents and purposes a game. And a game we started after building trust, showing willingness to be vulnerable, and having love and respect at the core. Adding someone else changes the games and risks it no longer being a game. And the worst possible outcome from doing it is far worse than it is now, with no removal of the other bad outcomes that exist now.

I hope you and your dom continue navigate the discussion together with love and respect for each other at the core.