idk, this may be semantics, but for me, any relationship based on owing is a non starter... or destined for failure.
i think compatibility is often underrated, or even grossly overlooked, when looking for a mate. i think that can be particularly true in a D/s dynamic if the expectation (on both sides of the slash) is one person conforms/''obeys'' the other. i'm not making a universal statement here, just my own individual take. And i think it comes down to that. I.e., individuality.
I see "compatibility" as finding out mutual connecting places and using those as a foundation to both build and sustain a relationship. For instance, in the most basic terms, i am a "bottom," and that's a central and big part of my identity, so i can rule out anyone who identifies as bottom when it comes to a sexually intimate relationship. That's putting it in the most simplistic terms. i think all relationship involves compromise, but i think there are some things we all have that we cannot change or compromise.
Both knowing the things we can and cannot compromise , prior to choosing a mate, i think, can really help establish a symbiotic relationship vs a quid-pro- quo approach. i think symbiotic is vital for the important, identity type things, and compromise should be left to things like what's for dinner tonight. i 'm unaffected by owing my mate lasagna tonight because he gave into my taco cravings last night. But it's not going to work if he wants/needs me to top him.
Again, all of that is complex stuff, and i understand i'm putting it in basic, simplistic terms.