How do you navigate establishing trust in a new dynamic/relationship?

dollMaker​(dom male) • Dec 26, 2025

Unfortunately time and asking the right questions does not always reveal a persons true self. I once was in a place where after having all the hard discussions, or at least I was sure I had, and the person was mostly aligned to a point I was comfortable with them, they revealed their true inner thoughts about something very important to me, their views were a hard nope for me.

This was a complete and utter shock, I felt a real fool, and I had no choice, for my ongoing comfort, but to say no, to any further involvement. This broke me, feelings had started to grow.

My advice, have all those important hard no discussions at the very start, before anything occurs, meetings. Have a list, and go through it, cover everything, and I mean everything: politics, religion, society, social things, sexuality, education, life issues, trawl through this, to reveal incompatibilities and if the person isn’t aligned wirh you, don’t progress with them. If they are evasive, vague, or refuse to answer, don’t make excuses and ignore this. I think not having an opinion, or expressing ignorance of a topic isn’t enough to stop things, but a discussion is required, as a follow up, to see if their view forms to align with yours, if not, don’t ignore this.

Years down the line, finding an awful deal breaking truth about them, its a horrible place to be, trying to avoid this, or mitigate ending up in this place is a wise thing, but must be done right from the get go, or you end up in a place you won’t want to be, I’ve been there, it’s horrible.

Mhm

brknbre​(sub female) • Feb 20, 2026

I resonate with this.
I had a Daddy whos profile said his wife was aware of him being on the site. The words were vague for a reason. Overtime I noticed our messages, phone calls and video chats seemed very secretive, so I eventually asked. In very few words he admitted his wife only thinks he talks to like minded people. And at a point, we definitely weren't just talking. Really opened my eyes. Twisting the base consent of included parties while neither were the wiser.

MidSummerDream​(neither female)​{BothHold🗝} • Feb 20, 2026

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