Who Pays: Sex Toys

(Didn't really plan on a whole series of "Who Pays" but since the first one worked out so well, I thought I would try another)

Over time, I have come across the problem of who buys the sex toys for a given relationship. Now in most cases, I will buy my own tools: Floggers (well those I didn't make), blindfolds, gags, and what not. However, there have been times when the s type will demand (which is funny but more later) they pay for some of the toys.

Now I get it with insertables (dildos, anal plugs, and sometimes gags) and I have purchased those with the intent on leaving them with the s type when things break up.

Have you had this argument in a relationship and if so, how was it resolved?

That is actually a good "series" come to think of it, as dynamics are different as are each individual's approach to seemingly everyday things. Differing ideas make for a good discussion. I'd even go so far as to consider a "Who Pays" thread for general household stuff. I have strict expectations for ass paper of all things, but there are plenty of other things that may be very similar, but couples have an amazing ability to debate the littlest things. Alas my response to such a query would be fairly boilerplate. When a pair both has incomes, it's nice to split costs or take turns buying. And of course not a "who pays for" thing, but the well-worn and weather-beaten Divorce Court battle: "Seat Up or Down when done with the Crapper?"

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Now for the Featured Question:

I can only comment in the hypothetical because I was never in a relationship of any kind, and "weekend wonders" didn't count as far as I was concerned. But I have a roommate and sometimes those scenarios can be similar.

Rather than just write a silly "Refer to Question 1" remark, of course I'll put thought into it:

I'd rather pay for my own toys, and the dominant can pay for theirs. It's only fair. "Insertable" toys aren't really "one size fits all" and in that space I'd want to pick out and get what has worked for me before. If something works well, why change it?

On the other hand, if I wanted to experiment --- that is try something with a bit more of a "zip" to it----- and it doesn't work out, then that's on me.

You’re pulling on my boujie strings with this one..
When it comes to toys i have been fortunate to have a meeting of the minds. The Dom/Master’s (2 i have had) are mindful, inquisitive and document a slew of personal questions- once a good fit and dynamic has been established.
They have felt as i have and i never expected a different reaction (so this is a good series of analysis in costs and who is paying). They expressed knowing exactly what they wanted to provide and to expect a package in the mail. With both partners they warned to be present at the time of opening. So as to explain why that toy, brand new in packaging and confirmed that it is not safe to share and should be my own from new. Even used but cleaned is not preventing infections (i am in healthcare and know this) luckily, i had tough hearted and minded but loving Masters. They waited as i cleaned and then as asked; alcohol wiped down the toys and again used toy cleaner. I want to be clear these were separate dynamics, separate times, similar rituals. I wanted my “hunger or drive” created/built and most suited to my body “as chosen”. My second Master was incredible at choosing and knew His Owned body literally inside out. He purchased and sent my first glass dildo and those are not porous and clean beautiful… so smooth, still my favourite. He and i took lots of pleasure and such fun in building me a toy box and an extremely effective one. Such fond memories and exquisite pleasures. Now, if a MASTER sent me out and said “buy what you like”. It would turn me right off in multiple ways. 1. Put in some effort and know me/YOUR new body and decide the pleasure i will become accustomed and permitted. 2. Nipple clamps with a clit clamp made my heart 3x more loving and attached (thanks Master Ron). 3. If i have to fuck myself physically (effort) and imagine with His words or mental imagery- the least my Owner can do is surprise me with “His” cock or means of pleasure (similar to whipping it out or revealing). i may insist on offering to pay for diner but a sex toy.. i will walk out and black list the Man apparently 🙄😗 great question!

I have been spoiled. My former play partner and I enjoyed visiting sex shops and browsing. He might pick up a few things here and there. The best was a pink glass dildo. Gorgeous thing.

I also remember surprising my first Dom by buying my first gag and sending him a photo in it. It has a black leather strap and the bite is pink and heart shaped. He was charmed. He also urged me to research and consider buying a dildo- I did. Long live the immortal Mr. Cupcake. I think he wanted me to be educated on what was out there. He didn’t assign me to buy one, but when I found *the one* it was a must have. At the time I felt uncomfortable with the thought of him paying for it…

Financial service is a sticky limit for me. I’m not always comfortable spending money or having money spent on me for the kink of it. It’s something I’m learning to navigate and my feelings have been respected.

I’ve been gifted handcrafted tools and toys or accepted them in exchange for commissioned art.

I’ve even had a Dom offer me my dream flogger the fluffinator in exchange for my submission but it didn’t feel right.

As a feral sub I’m free to shop as I wish for now. So I do. 😜😜😜

So, who pays for it is nuanced.

This is a good question.
Im one if those that feels awkward receiving gifts but is more than happy to gift them lol.
I think for me I have my own little stash not as impressive as most lol.
I wouldn't expect someone to buy me toys but
If it was a dymanic I'd happily put in if need be or buy them.
I think personally when it comes to play partners anything that is used internally I'd prefer my own toys used, for sanitary and I guess emotional reasons.
In regards to floggers ect im happy to use what ever.