Early Days / your Process

How much input from a sub/slave is allowed before you consider it domming from the bottom? I have seen some who write interminable rules and regs. And I mean law book long.

It depends on the dynamic and the rules agreed upon. Many D/s dynamics require a contract to spell out exactly what and how much is allowed.

Topping from the bottom is not good for any D/s dynamic. As my Dom was training me, she actually asked me for my input on some things. She is in charge and I only give my opinion on things when she asks for it.

The mutual communication and respect has made our Femdom dynamic work for years.

Expressing likes, dislikes, and limits prior to a BDSM scene (preferably not during) should not be considered "Topping from the bottom" though I am sure some people do.

Ultimately, sub or not, we all get to choose how we want to express our kinks and what we need to feel safe. Input from the sub is valuable to me, because I don't feel comfortable being the cruel sadistic bastard I deeply want to be if I can't understand the mind of the sub and how it will react. If I were a sub, I'd be weary of any dom who wants to shut down communication because they're insecure about the idea of being topped from the bottom. And, I don't know, but maybe for a baby dom it might be a good idea to get topped from the bottom by an experienced sub for a while anyway.

If I felt like a sub was trying to command the entire interaction and not letting me be myself, as opposed to just communicating, then I'd have a problem with it and we'd have to talk that out. It's not a matter of quantity, but of intent.