Early Days / your Process

Im not quiet sure i understand your question
Topping from the bottom is where a sub tries to top their Dominant.
For me vetting someone you are both equal while trying to get to know someone.
You should be encouraged to ask questions while vetting and in a dynamic never feel intimidated that you cant speak, yes there may be a time and place depending on how that dynamic is set up that has been agreed apon by both of you.
Communication is such a corner stone in the lifestyle