Very new. Need some info

DonCaramel​(dom male) • Oct 28, 2018

Safety safety safety; breathing and blood circulation issues are pitfalls when using rope so be very careful. That being said. Checkout the knotty boys videos on youtube. They have a site thats still up but its loaded with spam so the collection youtube is safest. Start with the basic stuff. have fun and be mindful of whats going on.

MistressMapes{Collared f} • Oct 28, 2018

I recommend tension cuffs- easy to release but she can pull against them to make it feel tighter.
I've found the books by The Knotty Boys to be really useful- I was starting from scratch and it teaches a variety of knots and examples of how to apply them with lovely pics, plus discusses different ropes and covers safety issues.
*buy a pair of bandage scissors (can get from chemist) before you use rope and keep checking with her if she has any tingling or numbness. If so, release immediately. Always have the scissors within reach.
Hopefully your girlfriend already has some knowledge about how to play safely, but do not assume so.
On a more fun note, I'd like to say that the process of being tied is a huge part of the experience: blindfold her & take your time as you secure her!

dollMaker​(dom male) • Oct 28, 2018

Can I suggest not learning or trying rope out on a human being first, learn using the back of a chair or a dummy, but learning on another human particularly on your own, without guidance from an expert carries risks. Yes there are a few very simple ties that have minimal risk, but rope gets pretty advanced fairly quickly, and the danger levels increase as well.

The problem with rope bondage is many think they can tie knots and it looks very easy and has no obvious risks, yet it carries many. Please learn to crawl, before you try to run a maranthon.

Please exercise extreme caution.

TheJackdaw​(switch male){Collared} • Nov 1, 2018

It’s all about baby steps. Rather than working out what bits of kit you need for what, think about why you’re doing it and how you’re to set the scene. Deciding to get all the equipment out for no good reason might not be the best way to start a DS relationship. Once you’ve worked out what you both want to get out of your DS relationship then maybe check yourselves into a well equipped dungeon for a weekend with an anything goes attitude to give yourselves a few ideas and build up a shopping list!

TheJackdaw​(switch male){Collared} • Nov 1, 2018

You also mention that your partner is a sub but you yourself are new to the lifestyle? I take it that means your partner has some experience in being a submissive? If that’s the case then I guess she should have some ideas of what she looks for in a dom that extends beyond bedroom behaviour and conduct.

Allie Kat​(sub trans woman){DarkFox} • Nov 1, 2018

Hello Sir,
It looks like you have gotten some good help already

There is one thing i think is important to clarify. BDSM lifestyle is separate and different from BDSM sex. They can happen in the same relationship, but they are not mutually exclusive. Just because someone likes being bound in the bedroom does not mean that they are or want to be in the BDSM lifestyle.

For more information on the BDSM lifestyle and relationships, i suggest the book "Leading and supporting love" i think it's $5 on kindle. Its a /really/ good resource, /especially/ for those who are new or curious about the lifestyle

Bunnie • Nov 1, 2018

Hi @ Backman3478, I’m always impressed by new people who ask for help. It shows good initiative to learn I think a common misconception around rope is that it’s an easy, safe intro into kink. Nothing could be further from the truth. Permanent nerve damage is something that can occur very easily, and is well... permanent. I’m not saying this to scare you, but to make you aware that it’s actually not as light as it’s made out to be. I think hands on guidance and learning is pretty important when it comes to rope. It’s important to learn anatomy... there are certain areas where rope is never placed due to nerves being too close to the surface of the skin etc., circulation needs to be monitored... it’s absolutely necessary to learn these things. It’s also majorly interesting if you’re a nerd like me
As @ MasterBear suggested, FetLife is a great place to find events, workshops, Mentors and skillshares. The best place to start is always at the beginning. Even practicing on yourself helps to give you an idea of what the rope does and how it reacts and responds as you tie. First things first... invest in paramedic trauma shears (sorry not sure what they’re called elsewhere)... but these...
https://www.paramedicshop.com.au/products/bandage-scissors?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIg9j0urez3gIVXAQqCh3K6AP0EAQYByABEgIrX_D_BwE
Go slow, be safe, communication is imperative with rope, be creative... breathe and enjoy yourselves