Why subs with trauma feel scared trusting

I feel like on here it’s good to have conversation, but it gets to a point where you don’t know if the persons gonna be nice or not or if they have only sexual intentions. Like for me I’ve realized I pull away when I feel that or if I’m scared it’ll get to that point. As a little it’s hard to see when ppls intentions are genuine or if its for show, and wondering just scares me because I can’t be in a situation again. How do other subs deal with this or what do you do to help with your anxiety about it? My regression means so much to me and I can’t give it to anybody even if it’s involuntary. I love being a sub and doing that with my partner but I also very much crave the connection beyond sex, I crave the intimacy and genuine connection, but now I just end it before I could even see because I’m scared I’ll be hurt badly again. I wanna feel okay regressing on my own, but due to my abuse I seek that comfort now, and I hate it so much. It’s been years too, like three now and I know it takes time

I really feel this in the depths of my soul. People will fake their intentions and because of our past trauma it can be hard to see through the facade and to know what is genuine. Hopefully we found what we are truly looking for ❤️

I think this site allows you to ask the right questions and time to see if the person is genuine. In the real world people pretend to be something they aren't only for sex as well

I feel you should trust your intuition..if something/someone doesn't feel right, you have the right to speak up and or shut down contact. Do not let anyone gaslight you into thinking otherwise. There are a lot of good people on this site on both sides of the slash..but there are also predators, trolls and jerks.. The right Dominant will guide you, not force you or be abusive physically and or verbally. You will know when you find peace in his presence not disregulation.

You mentioned past traumas and I don't know you or your situation..Perhaps you should seek out a therapist. Feeling safe that you can choose the right partner(s) because unfortunately coming from that environment may feel familiar and you'll seek out or draw to you what you know, unhealthy relationships.

Wishing you the best of luck..reach out to me or other submissives in your journey.. Wishing you healing and happiness.

It’s a very painful and long journey to gain trust with yourself and others after experiencing relationship trauma. I imagine you must feel torn with wanting to let go and be cherished but finding it difficult to decipher intentions and trust anyone enough to let go and transition to that vulnerable space.

Time and moving at a slow pace is really important, and I mean glacial if that’s what it takes to reassure your mind and body. I found consistency in every day, simple actions and words is so important, communicates intentions and reassures the nervous system. Your body will register more than your mind, but I understand the communication between mind and body requires care, safety, attention and time.

I recommend you be safe with yourself and feel more trust toward yourself before trusting others, but sometimes the right person can improve that relationship with yourself. Ultimately, they will always want the best for you and that should be felt.

In terms of regression, it very much depends on how that is for you, and how you transition (in and out). I suggest you find a CGL/little’s group, establish a support network and explore your possibilities for safe age play/regression.

Good luck and take care 🫶

I understand this all too well. Childhood and Military $exual trauma had made it very difficult to trust anyone. I realized too late that I had self-sabotaged what could have been a beautiful relationship because it was so hard for me to just let everything go.

Trust is earned through patience’s and understanding. It takes a special kind of person who is willing to grow and heal alongside you, learning from each other in the process. This bond fosters beautiful growth and evolution in both individuals. While they may have a perfect life, they are always there for you without judgment, ready to help you grow. However, it’s important to remember that the leading hand can even be a friend.

To open up to someone, you need to feel safe and calm. You should not force things but find ways to help them. Do things you can do, and remember that healing is a journey. The movie “The Secret Garden” (1995) and “The Little Princess” offer great relief. You can find peace through holy water, cutting cords, or starting anew. Don’t necessarily have to believe in anything, but believe in yourself. Peace will find its way.

Write down your goals and dreams, and engage in art therapy, coloring, or painting. Don’t forget to nurture your imagination and believe that things can happen. Say good things to yourself and to life. First, be true to yourself and be the partner you seek. Take a break before any connection or relationship. You must have a relationship with yourself first. Don’t let your mind be in a cage; take back that power!

You have to cut cords and set them free. Let peace take over your future, not your past. Create a new one! Don’t let your past hold you back. Forgive it and give it peace. Ride the horse of your deserving good life! You get to make your own choices. No one is paying your bills. If you allow bother, turn off the switch and create light. Recharge daily with self-care and do me time! 💆 The world can wait!

Also, watch the movie “Tina Turner”! You can be submissive, but you should be strong. Don’t be submissive to everything. Use your mind and have a say. You have human rights, so be good to yourself, but never take crap! Your life chose wisely! Women can be submissive but once you find strength you will have dominant mind it’s sexy because right one will understand you. Never let yourself live crappy life again. You gotta cherish yourself let garden bloom water yourself pour back in to self. You must cut people and things but this how get your life back! But you can do it allow what you believe to guide you! Talk to nature if you must good start take those walks let go of stress. Change the mode reserve it reserve mindset! Show up for yourself focus on the process! You think man be boss but Submissive are boss also in the relationship also you submit to each other but you have say. You own each other this a bond in trust. You need space and mend rebirth invest In self be sexy for you anyone wa he to be part it should be happy be in it. Submissive is goddess sacred being needs good energy dance those hips put in the hips turn the music on. goddess takes back wants hers men respects that ones don’t not the one. ? si=jSeTb8xB5cNxu7UH

Be strong you need to be you! But to feel safe with self and life! Moving your hips to music and dancing helps you release stress and get your power back. The main goal is to feel alive and enjoy being sexy just for yourself. They must keep you happy for skull to Stay! Submissive great having a mind with is being a strong submissive! Stop saying yes , work on you you come first! Let people walk all over gotta make changes! Change your attut to fuck No , Nope , Do it yourselr , not my energy bye , wish you well. Leave the life doe support you as will need to also hard but gonna give guts to live your dream! Show up for yourself this love disaplimr don’t stay do not feel wanted! Call domestic hotline , talk to church or resources up
To you don’t live someone else’s trap get in better air!

If you are experiencing abuse, it is crucial to prioritize your safety and well-being. Focus on your own needs rather than those of your abuser. Cut off contact with them as soon as possible.
Even in the process of moving on and finding a new life, consider seeking mentor Friend the partnership come’s later . If you find yourself in a situation where you need to go to a shelter, file for divorce, or are stuck in an abusive situation, remember to stand up for yourself.
My mother was abusive and tried to control me when I was young. I fought back and packed a small bag, telling my friends that I was going to go there and never returned to family Take a walk, call people, and seek help if you need it. You are not weak; you are strong. Remember who you are and take back what is yours.
Violence is not the only solution, but you have the right to use self-defense if you are in a situation of abusive family or financial abuse but not harm but use force pushing or wrestling . Don’t let it slide; don’t stay because you think it will get better. You need to be strong for yourself. I have been there, and have faith that you can go to church even if you don’t have belief use it as for right now , call 911, or seek help from an outreach program. Do it! You are tired of it, and you need to save yourself from these things!
I know that you may want someone superior, but never let anyone walk all over you. It’s not love; it’s hate. It’s not good for your mental health or your life. If you go to a shelter or center, they can help you get a better life with financial stability and help you get back on your feet. You can file for divorce, and the state will finalize it for you.
Don’t feel like you are alone. There is light in you, and you can shine! Places provide food and clothes, help you find work, and connect you with support groups making friends and counseling. If you have children, they can also help. Get the help you need, because it can get worse. Listen to your inner voice; you deserve better. You may not be able to find a partnership that can wait, but there are friends and people here who can help you in information. It is crucial to express your feelings on a blog write down then write it out vent it in good way how your trying reaching for your goals! Don’t seek someone but friendship right now! Seek out individuals who provide valuable information and offer genuine support. Take action and find the right place that best suits your needs. Prioritize self-care and take time to reflect and make decisions. Remember, it is always time to return to your desired lifestyle. However, it is essential to distance yourself from individuals who hinder your progress. Stand up for yourself and assert your rights. Your children are your responsibility, and you have the right to make decisions for them. If necessary, consider seeking witness protection. While everyone has their own story, it does not define your future. Embrace this new beginning and fight for your life. Remember, you have the strength to overcome any obstacle. Allow yourself to leave and push these individuals away. They are obstacles in your path. If you need assistance, consider hiring a police escort to help you move your belongings out of your house.