Terminology

The energy in your replies, isn't good.

How and where will you learn how to do kink activity safely, mitigating the risks? Books, videos, and chats only go so far, workshops in those activities, in the community spaces you dislike, want no part of, is the only way, only place to learn. I am at this nearly 17 years, and I have a large collection of books on activities, I watch educational videos, talk to many over the years, but the big jump in my skills came about once I could attend in person workshops, get one on one time with impact people - whips, floggers, canes etc, and same with bondage, violet wands. Without that in-person education, I would be lacking in my ability, and that came via the community.

The "energy" of my replies? In other words, in other words, the way they make you feel? Well sorry, but that's just your subjective perception -- and that's a You Problem, not a Me Problem.



Well funny thing about that: I've actually had sex before. Not as frequently as I'd like, mind you, but enough that I'm reasonably confident in my abilities. Nobody was hurt and it was a mutually enjoyable experience for everyone involved. And the reason for that is that I make it a point to maintain open communication with my partners. I check in frequently, ask if they're enjoying themselves, ask if they're comfortable with any specific act before we actually try it, and generally make it a point to be an emotionally engaged and supportive partner both inside and outside of the bedroom.



The only way for you, maybe. But the difference between you and me is that you're you and I'm me. And just because something worked for you doesn't mean that it's the only thing that can work for anybody.



Well good for you. But I prefer to learn these things one-on-one with a long-term intimate partner who I actually take the time to build a relationship with. What exactly are you proposing here? That we form a focus group to be in the room the next time I have sex so that you can grade me on my performance? Well sorry, but you're not invited. "The Community" is not welcome in my bedroom, and I don't think that's an unreasonable boundary.

I am not talking about, sex. So you are going to just do stuff (not talking about fucking) on someone with no clue how to do it, safely, with skill, just learn on the job, and hope you don't seriously hurt someone, give them a life long/changing injury, or even kill them. You is dangerous, with an attitude like yours, and the ignorance you are displaying.