| darlingdiana(sub female) |
3 days ago •
Oct 26, 2026
► B L O N D I E wrote: I want to clarify a few things because I don't want this forum thread to turn into all of us women getting together to rag on men for being selfish and exploitative. The subject of squirting is obviously not a problem of male ego because I have never met any man who has ever even implied that I should squirt. I'm sorry that all of you have experienced that, but none of my previous sexual partners has ever even mentioned it. I was with my former dominant for two years before I learned how to squirt with no help or input from him. He treated me exactly the same way afterward as he did before and he didn't mention it afterward, either. So there are obviously a great many men out there who don't care about squirting at all and would be more than happy if their partner didn't do it.
I have also met lesbians who considered it a badge of honor to make a woman squirt, so it's definitely not a problem of male ego. Selfish people are going to be selfish no matter which gender they are. I would also add that every woman is different. We all respond to different stimuli, so anyone of any gender who considers themselves an "expert" is delusional. In my experience, we can consider squirting a different kind of orgasm with different sensations and responses and different stimuli needed to make it happen. I don't think any of us would consider it selfish or exploitative for a man to want to give a woman an orgasm. We would consider it natural for him to say, "I'll help you get there" if she'd never had one before. She would be within her rights to say, "I don't want the pressure of trying to have one." If he ignored that and put pressure on her anyway, then we could consider him selfish and exploitative. Then we could correctly gauge if he was respecting her boundaries and accepted her decision or if he was trying to bolster his ego by gaining some kind of achievement. I have learned one thing in my years on this planet: How much a woman enjoys herself in bed comes almost entirely down to her relationship with herself. You can teach a man to do better in bed. If she doesn't have a good relationship with herself, she won't enjoy herself no matter what he does. In my experience, squirting is not a matter of receiving the right kind and amount of stimuli from my partner. My partner can give me the "right" kind of stimuli all day long. I have to apply certain kinds of muscular tension and pressure on my own to make myself squirt. I can't do it at all if I don't make a conscious choice to do it, so if anyone is gaining an achievement with it, I am. We all have opinions and experiences. In my opinion and the sub after me, it was male ego. It doesnāt mean they are all this way. I indicated I havenāt had every lover. Each of us will and are entitled to our own outlook and opinion. If you are making a conscious choice itās not a biological reaction. It urinatingā¦ which is performance. The context of the OP was a biological reaction which most of us are familiar with squirting in this way. A conscious choice is not an orgasm- its a biological function wanted or not. Weāre not talking about men wanting to give us orgasms, we are talking about what makes it a great concern and achievement to them when squirting, in this context is orgasm, a slightly different type. What makes anyone selfish and exploitive is going to be bias to that individual. Try and look at it like a woman demanding for her man to stay hard and cum 2/6 times because āshe knows she can do itā. Itās helping him get there isnāt it? No- itās her ego and unwanted disturbance when he may have not been anticipating performance expectations. The one thing you have learned in this world in bed is strictly your own experience and no one elseās. I have had orgasms when i certainly didnāt want or intend to; angry, mad and sad. Thatās what makes us unique and night and day different. No man would want variety or a different experience otherwise. All of us are submissiveās that have have had similar Men. Donāt be āsorryā for us that they were not your men in the sack. Weāre not. Many of us would not be ok with teaching a Dominant how to be better in bed or one that pretends a biological function didnāt happen. I donāt recall anyone here saying they were an expert. The last thing we will do on this thread is change our own point of view and we all want everyone to be themselves. We donāt need any clarifications- just our own personal opinions and experiences on our own behalf, not on everyone elseās. |
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| B L O N D I E(sub female) |
3 days ago •
Oct 26, 2026
► darlingdiana wrote: ► B L O N D I E wrote: I want to clarify a few things because I don't want this forum thread to turn into all of us women getting together to rag on men for being selfish and exploitative. The subject of squirting is obviously not a problem of male ego because I have never met any man who has ever even implied that I should squirt. I'm sorry that all of you have experienced that, but none of my previous sexual partners has ever even mentioned it. I was with my former dominant for two years before I learned how to squirt with no help or input from him. He treated me exactly the same way afterward as he did before and he didn't mention it afterward, either. So there are obviously a great many men out there who don't care about squirting at all and would be more than happy if their partner didn't do it.
I have also met lesbians who considered it a badge of honor to make a woman squirt, so it's definitely not a problem of male ego. Selfish people are going to be selfish no matter which gender they are. I would also add that every woman is different. We all respond to different stimuli, so anyone of any gender who considers themselves an "expert" is delusional. In my experience, we can consider squirting a different kind of orgasm with different sensations and responses and different stimuli needed to make it happen. I don't think any of us would consider it selfish or exploitative for a man to want to give a woman an orgasm. We would consider it natural for him to say, "I'll help you get there" if she'd never had one before. She would be within her rights to say, "I don't want the pressure of trying to have one." If he ignored that and put pressure on her anyway, then we could consider him selfish and exploitative. Then we could correctly gauge if he was respecting her boundaries and accepted her decision or if he was trying to bolster his ego by gaining some kind of achievement. I have learned one thing in my years on this planet: How much a woman enjoys herself in bed comes almost entirely down to her relationship with herself. You can teach a man to do better in bed. If she doesn't have a good relationship with herself, she won't enjoy herself no matter what he does. In my experience, squirting is not a matter of receiving the right kind and amount of stimuli from my partner. My partner can give me the "right" kind of stimuli all day long. I have to apply certain kinds of muscular tension and pressure on my own to make myself squirt. I can't do it at all if I don't make a conscious choice to do it, so if anyone is gaining an achievement with it, I am. We all have opinions and experiences. In my opinion and the sub after me, it was male ego. It doesnāt mean they are all this way. I indicated I havenāt had every lover. Each of us will and are entitled to our own outlook and opinion. If you are making a conscious choice itās not a biological reaction. It urinatingā¦ which is performance. The context of the OP was a biological reaction which most of us are familiar with squirting in this way. A conscious choice is not an orgasm- its a biological function wanted or not. Weāre not talking about men wanting to give us orgasms, we are talking about what makes it a great concern and achievement to them when squirting, in this context is orgasm, a slightly different type. What makes anyone selfish and exploitive is going to be bias to that individual. Try and look at it like a woman demanding for her man to stay hard and cum 2/6 times because āshe knows she can do itā. Itās helping him get there isnāt it? No- itās her ego and unwanted disturbance when he may have not been anticipating performance expectations. The one thing you have learned in this world in bed is strictly your own experience and no one elseās. I have had orgasms when i certainly didnāt want or intend to; angry, mad and sad. Thatās what makes us unique and night and day different. No man would want variety or a different experience otherwise. All of us are submissiveās that have have had similar Men. Donāt be āsorryā for us that they were not your men in the sack. Weāre not. Many of us would not be ok with teaching a Dominant how to be better in bed or one that pretends a biological function didnāt happen. I donāt recall anyone here saying they were an expert. The last thing we will do on this thread is change our own point of view and we all want everyone to be themselves. We donāt need any clarifications- just our own personal opinions and experiences on our own behalf, not on everyone elseās. I repeated stated in my response that I was speaking from my own experience just as you were. Your opinion doesn't invalidate mine just as mine doesn't invalidate yours. Medical and scientific research is very clear that squirting is not urinating. I have squirted hundreds of times and I think I can tell the difference in smell, texture, and sensation between squirting and urinating. Squirting can be done voluntarily or involuntarily just as orgasm can be done voluntarily or involuntarily. You make a big noise about everyone having their own experience, but you seem convinced that your own involuntary experience of squirting is the only one possible. I have done it consciously many times. It was not urine and it was not performance. I did it for my own pleasure--not his. All of this is backed up by scientific research. As far as the phenomenon being connected to male ego, you cited two incidents of men having this attitude and BeautifullyImperfect cited one. That's hardly a representative sample and not a basis to generalize to the entire male population, especially since lesbian women are doing exactly the same thing. |
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| darlingdiana(sub female) |
3 days ago •
Oct 26, 2026
► Old Soul wrote: Good topic & discussion,
We are all different and like many aspects of sex, Kink, S/M or D/S there are so many variables that can effect any, all or non of the outcomes. Surely it is ultimately about giving and receiving pleasure in what ever form that takes for the people involved. While I do agree that some men do seem to fixate on it and see squirting as the golden ticket and a sign that their partner is totally satisfied. I personally don't mind it either way, I have enjoyed being 'drenched' a number of times with different partner's squirted during orgasm as I was giving her oral. Some are embarrassed some are pleased. I have also used the so called 'come hither' finger technique to induce squirting, when I have been asked, sometime successful other times not. My point is there is no clear hard & fast rules we are all individuals and many factors effect so many aspects of sex it in not possible to be 100% accurate. In my view as long as all parties are consenting and enjoying their activities then all is well. For me it makes absolutely no difference, I enjoy it if it happens but I am certainly not disappointed if it doesn't. The makings of a great lover, I always enjoy your writings though (Im bias š) |
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| darlingdiana(sub female) |
3 days ago •
Oct 26, 2026
► B L O N D I E wrote: ► darlingdiana wrote: ► B L O N D I E wrote: I want to clarify a few things because I don't want this forum thread to turn into all of us women getting together to rag on men for being selfish and exploitative. The subject of squirting is obviously not a problem of male ego because I have never met any man who has ever even implied that I should squirt. I'm sorry that all of you have experienced that, but none of my previous sexual partners has ever even mentioned it. I was with my former dominant for two years before I learned how to squirt with no help or input from him. He treated me exactly the same way afterward as he did before and he didn't mention it afterward, either. So there are obviously a great many men out there who don't care about squirting at all and would be more than happy if their partner didn't do it.
I have also met lesbians who considered it a badge of honor to make a woman squirt, so it's definitely not a problem of male ego. Selfish people are going to be selfish no matter which gender they are. I would also add that every woman is different. We all respond to different stimuli, so anyone of any gender who considers themselves an "expert" is delusional. In my experience, we can consider squirting a different kind of orgasm with different sensations and responses and different stimuli needed to make it happen. I don't think any of us would consider it selfish or exploitative for a man to want to give a woman an orgasm. We would consider it natural for him to say, "I'll help you get there" if she'd never had one before. She would be within her rights to say, "I don't want the pressure of trying to have one." If he ignored that and put pressure on her anyway, then we could consider him selfish and exploitative. Then we could correctly gauge if he was respecting her boundaries and accepted her decision or if he was trying to bolster his ego by gaining some kind of achievement. I have learned one thing in my years on this planet: How much a woman enjoys herself in bed comes almost entirely down to her relationship with herself. You can teach a man to do better in bed. If she doesn't have a good relationship with herself, she won't enjoy herself no matter what he does. In my experience, squirting is not a matter of receiving the right kind and amount of stimuli from my partner. My partner can give me the "right" kind of stimuli all day long. I have to apply certain kinds of muscular tension and pressure on my own to make myself squirt. I can't do it at all if I don't make a conscious choice to do it, so if anyone is gaining an achievement with it, I am. We all have opinions and experiences. In my opinion and the sub after me, it was male ego. It doesnāt mean they are all this way. I indicated I havenāt had every lover. Each of us will and are entitled to our own outlook and opinion. If you are making a conscious choice itās not a biological reaction. It urinatingā¦ which is performance. The context of the OP was a biological reaction which most of us are familiar with squirting in this way. A conscious choice is not an orgasm- its a biological function wanted or not. Weāre not talking about men wanting to give us orgasms, we are talking about what makes it a great concern and achievement to them when squirting, in this context is orgasm, a slightly different type. What makes anyone selfish and exploitive is going to be bias to that individual. Try and look at it like a woman demanding for her man to stay hard and cum 2/6 times because āshe knows she can do itā. Itās helping him get there isnāt it? No- itās her ego and unwanted disturbance when he may have not been anticipating performance expectations. The one thing you have learned in this world in bed is strictly your own experience and no one elseās. I have had orgasms when i certainly didnāt want or intend to; angry, mad and sad. Thatās what makes us unique and night and day different. No man would want variety or a different experience otherwise. All of us are submissiveās that have have had similar Men. Donāt be āsorryā for us that they were not your men in the sack. Weāre not. Many of us would not be ok with teaching a Dominant how to be better in bed or one that pretends a biological function didnāt happen. I donāt recall anyone here saying they were an expert. The last thing we will do on this thread is change our own point of view and we all want everyone to be themselves. We donāt need any clarifications- just our own personal opinions and experiences on our own behalf, not on everyone elseās. I repeated stated in my response that I was speaking from my own experience just as you were. Your opinion doesn't invalidate mine just as mine doesn't invalidate yours. Medical and scientific research is very clear that squirting is not urinating. I have squirted hundreds of times and I think I can tell the difference in smell, texture, and sensation between squirting and urinating. Squirting can be done voluntarily or involuntarily just as orgasm can be done voluntarily or involuntarily. You make a big noise about everyone having their own experience, but you seem convinced that your own involuntary experience of squirting is the only one possible. I have done it consciously many times. It was not urine and it was not performance. I did it for my own pleasure--not his. All of this is backed up by scientific research. As far as the phenomenon being connected to male ego, you cited two incidents of men having this attitude and BeautifullyImperfect cited one. That's hardly a representative sample and not a basis to generalize to the entire male population, especially since lesbian women are doing exactly the same thing. Donāt get your tits twisted shug. We donāt and will never see eye to eye. I can withhold nasty comments, because I donāt take it personal for a second- give it a try. I am flattered you think I am a big noise, thatās adorable . It wouldnāt matter if it was 1/3 of a Man of each of us. Itās not the numbers that validate and any number is a sample for anyones basis and experience. Nobody said the whole male population nor are you validated for representing the entire male population. Lesbians are your experience, leave it there. Scientific research is debatable and extremely subjective. Data doesnāt include Cosmopolitan or Google. However, im not up for your debates. I gave my opinion on the op thread and wont let you sway mine or anyones opinion and freedom of thoughts and speech. You have nothing to defend so relax, and should not feel you have to nor argue to validate yourself. I trust your opinion is real to you. Trust mine is and the other women who didnāt seem to fit your statistics numbers. |
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| intenseoldman(dom male) |
2 days ago •
Oct 27, 2026
Yeah, in my experience every woman's orgasm is her orgasm. Getting to know her is the beauty of it all.
Whether she squirts, ejaculates, has ten orgasms, three, or one, whether they're earth shaking or well up and roll like ocean waves, it shouldn't be a performance. We're sharing our bodies for each other's pleasure, to explore, discover, and, if it's just not just about the climax, to connect. Funny I finished all the Dungeon Crawler Carl Books, and Audible wanted me to read "Bad in Bed". It just kept staring at me, so wtf, I started listening. It really says something about how emphasis on performance can make you "bad in bed". I was hoping this thread would get into the biology of squirting, the difference in how squirting feels compared to other types of orgasm and whether or not it's possible for all women to squirt. I mean I don't think it should be a standard. I could sure see why a woman woman wouldn't want to. I knew a squirter who was pretty self conscious about it. Yeah I thought this would be like exploration and discovery--people sharing experiences and information w/o judgement. Anyway, ty, OP for a thoughtful inquiry about squirting. |
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| Emma in Cuff's(switch female) |
16 hours ago •
Oct 29, 2026
► intenseoldman wrote: Yeah, in my experience every woman's orgasm is her orgasm. Getting to know her is the beauty of it all.
Whether she squirts, ejaculates, has ten orgasms, three, or one, whether they're earth shaking or well up and roll like ocean waves, it shouldn't be a performance. We're sharing our bodies for each other's pleasure, to explore, discover, and, if it's just not just about the climax, to connect. Funny I finished all the Dungeon Crawler Carl Books, and Audible wanted me to read "Bad in Bed". It just kept staring at me, so wtf, I started listening. It really says something about how emphasis on performance can make you "bad in bed". I was hoping this thread would get into the biology of squirting, the difference in how squirting feels compared to other types of orgasm and whether or not it's possible for all women to squirt. I mean I don't think it should be a standard. I could sure see why a woman woman wouldn't want to. I knew a squirter who was pretty self conscious about it. Yeah I thought this would be like exploration and discovery--people sharing experiences and information w/o judgement. Anyway, ty, OP for a thoughtful inquiry about squirting. Thank you, intenseoldman. I appreciate you bringing the discussion back to the curiosity that inspired this thread in the first place. Your point about every woman's orgasm being her own is exactly the distinction I hoped we would explore. Pleasure is personal, and the meaning of a physical response cannot simply be assumed from the outside. I would genuinely love to hear more about the experiences and physiological differences you mentioned. How does squirting feel different from other types of orgasm for those who experience it? Is it always connected to orgasm, or can it occur independently? And how much do we actually know about why some women experience it while others don't? I also think your point about self-consciousness deserves attention. Even when nobody explicitly demands a particular response, the way something is discussed or celebrated can create expectations. That doesn't mean everyone experiences pressure, but it does mean the subject is worth examining from different perspectives. I never intended this thread to establish one universal explanation or to invalidate anyone's personal experience. Quite the opposite. I'm interested in where individual experiences meet what we know about the biology, and where assumptions begin to fill the gaps. So let's keep the curiosity, the nuance, and the room for different experiences. That's the kind of conversation I was hoping to start. ā¤ļø -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- IĀ“ll start. In my own experience, squirting starts quite suddenly with a feeling of pressure that resembles the urge to urinate. It's a very distinct sensation, and the release itself doesn't necessarily coincide with an orgasm for me. What I find particularly interesting is that, even without an orgasm, the level of arousal can be extremely intense. The physical release and the feeling of sexual climax don't seem to be the same thing in my experience. There is intense arousal, a build-up of sensation, and then the release, but not necessarily that familiar peak associated with an orgasm. That's one of the reasons I'm fascinated by the subject. We often talk about squirting as though it were automatically synonymous with orgasm, but my own experience doesn't fit neatly into that assumption. It makes me wonder how many different ways the body can experience and express arousal, and how often we confuse a visible physical response with the internal experience itself. I'm curious whether other women experience this distinction too - intense arousal and squirting without necessarily reaching orgasm. It would be interesting to understand the physiological differences between these experiences without assuming that one is more intense, more satisfying, or more valid than another. |
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| intenseoldman(dom male) |
13 hours ago •
Oct 29, 2026
Thank you, Emma. I am quite curious and your reply touches what I was hoping to learn from this thread ...what a woman experiences during squirting and how it compares to other orgasms. It's fascinating to me because a woman's experience seems to vary so much more than my own.
I mean, I love to cum. The tension builds until the damn bursts, and a flood of euphoria fills me and lingers in the aftermath as my heart slowly subsides it's throbbing. It's calming therapy in which I feel settled in perfect peace with the Universe. I've obvserved, though, that a woman's orgasm can vary so, so, much. I've experienced, quivering, body convulsions, shuddering, ejaculating, and kind of flooding like orgasms and a woman who'd have so many orgasms, one right after another, that she'd dehydrate if she didn't have lots of water on hand. I"ve never experienced the kind of squirting you see in squirt porn, though. I knew a woman once who told me about her squirting and was quite self conscious and concerned about how I would be about it if we were to get together. Unfortunately, we never did, and that had nothing to do with her squirting. In the larger context of it all, I just think about the women I've been which aren't a lot, but every one has cum in her own way,. It was always good sex to me, and as far as not being in their minds and bodies and feeling what they feel... even though, it was different with every one, and I'm sure will be different with the next one, it seemed fulfilling for them, too. Blondie mentioned that she can control whether she squirts or not, but your squirting sounds involuntary. That's how much womens' bodies and their experiences vary which is what I hope this thread explores more of. As far as expectations and pressure to perform, to squirt or not to squirt, I don't know... I think it's like e.e. Cummings poem "If feeling's first, he who worries about the syntaxt of things will never wholly kiss you." If you're worried about how you cum, when you cum or how many times you cum, you're not present, and I think that's the best part of sex, being present in the pleasure of each other's pleasure. Learning and knowing each other deepens the pleasure and the connected presence. I am really most after that experience. If it comes with squirts and a cherry on top, wonderful, if it comes with shudders and shakes, wonderful... I mean it's always wonderful and always wonderful to learn more about. |
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