Help!! I'm new and lost lol

Help!! I'm new and lost lol

Tracmech396​(dom male) • Nov 8, 2018

Me and my fiancee have decided to incorporate a D/s lifestyle into our every-day life how do we get started into this

MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 8, 2018

Hello!!!


I have done a series of writings for newbies.
This is specifically for M/s, but the same applies to D/s.



http://yourkinkyfriends.com/2018/06/29/livingms/



http://yourkinkyfriends.com/2018/07/08/living-m-s-24-7-part-two-by-master-bear/



This goes through the rule of 3.

Which is a starting place.

My advice-- suspend any and all punishment during training phase.

Leave the play to play for now.
Not play for punishment

Phanes​(dom male) • Nov 8, 2018

http://bestslavetraining.com/theory-and-practive-slave-training/theory-slave-training/slave-punishment/ - B.E.S.T. slave Training Guide

https://jolynnraymond.com/2013/02/whats-in-a-name-an-explanation-of-bdsm-roles/ - What’s In a Name? An Explanation of BDSM Roles 18 comments

https://bdsmtrainingacademy.com/ - BDSM Training Academy

https://bdsm-sexperts.blogspot.com/2010/07/types-of-dominance.html - A Kinkster's Guide

https://www.lovense.com/bdsm-blog/bdsm-punishment-ideas - SUBMISSIVE DISCIPLINE - 45 BDSM PUNISHMENT IDEAS


Articles and websites able to help you decide what kind or sub you are, and to keep safe and learn about the lifestyle.

Submissives Guide - submissiveguide.com/

Submissives Guide You Tube channel - www.youtube.com/user/subguide

New Submissive articles here plenty to read - submissiveguide.com/personalgrowth,%20fundamentals/series/series-novice-submissives-start-here

Keeping Safe – Red Flags Dangers and what to look for - submissiveguide.com/safety/articles/10-red-flags-of-bad-or-abusive-dominants

Saftey Articles - submissiveguide.com/safety.1

New Submissive Article - www.katekinsey.com/advice-to-the-newbie-submissive.html

New Submissive Articles - sistersinsubmission.blogspot.co.uk/2008/01/training-for-new-submissive.html

New Submissive Article - sagacitygroup.net/art/stories/emotionsofasubmissive

What type of submissive am I - www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/3980035-what-type-of-submissive-are-you

Another article on Type of submissive - www.kinkly.com/2/8188/sex-tips/bdsm/what-kind-of-submissive-are-you

CrimsonPaw • Nov 8, 2018

So wonderful! Welcome to the community, enjoy the journey!

Satindragon • Nov 8, 2018

Welcome to our community.
Phanes57 gave you a great list of sites to gain knowledge.

Tracmech396​(dom male) • Nov 8, 2018

Thank you everyone for your help and support thankfully as I am military and am currently away from home for a week I have a little bit to read this info and get a better understanding before I go home on Sunday

Satindragon • Nov 8, 2018

I would like to suggest that as you read have your loved one reading as well. That way you can discuss both of your findings. A relationship in BDSM is based on Trust and open Communications. You have to trust each other to always be open and honest about everything. This is a very committed lifestyle. Take baby steps this is a journey not a destination. Have fun and love much!

dollMaker​(dom male) • Nov 8, 2018

Books

The Loving Dominant (new and improved edition) - John Warren & Libby Warren

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism - Molly Devon and Philip Miller

You Tube

Evie Lupine - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHExB-d5s0zBcbsaHEUy91Q

Morgan Thorne - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwx8uy7nxohWLwnaPocLsyg

Net

Dominants Guide - http://dominantguide.com/

Crow Academy - https://crowacademy.com/

Physical World

Look for a local community who have lots of educational activity, workshops, discussion groups a real focus on education, and safety. If you want to keep just to yourselves thats fine, still attend training educational things but if you would like to become active in your community look into going to munches (kinksters meeting for food in a vanilla location, no kink on show) or maybe joining a local dungeon/club would be a good way of doing that.

What I would urge strongly is keep in mind BDSM is mentally and physically challenging, its dangerous, its possible to get badly hurt and learning how to do things safely should be your first concern before trying. Keep it simple and leave more advanced stuff to later. Avoid using hand cuffs, cable ties and ropes for bondage as all carry more risk re injury than leather cuffs. Re impact toys paddles and riding crops are easier to learn to use safely than canes, floggers and whips. Bare hand or glove covered hand spanking is easy to learn how to do safely. Electrical kit is advanced stuff so leave that to later on. Don't do breath play that is very dangerous, as is choking your partner.

Discuss everything before hand, have enthusiastic fully informed consent from both of you before doing anything, keep it simple, focus on a few things and take it slow and safe. BDSM is a constant learning process, it never stops.

I wish you both the best on your journey.