Discussion on Primal

Discussion on Primal

NaivelyOptimistic​(sub female) • Nov 14, 2018

I ran across this interesting thread in FetLife on what, exactly, is primal (and how it's different from primal predator and primal prey): https://fetlife.com/groups/152573/group_posts/9995364

In trying to distinguish primal from other BDSM play, two people wrote in:
Switchbeast: "In Topspace, on the other hand, I am hyperfocused on the individual that I am playing with, or the person who has put me in that Topspace. I am in The Zone, and what I am doing has my entire reaction. I am not primal. In fact, I am anything but: I am methodical. I am careful. I am enjoying everything I'm doing with the mental perfection that I am doing it in.

It's practically the polar opposite of 'Primal' for me: 'Primal' is unfocused and quick to think and react. Topspace is methodical and hyperfocused on the specific thing at hand, the person I have beneath me at my hands, and the power with which I am inflicting every little thing upon them.

As a Primal, I would think "BITING IS FUN! I'MMA BITE AGAIN!".
In Topspace I would think, "Biting there would be too close to the veins, to I would prefer to bite here. That one is bruising up nicely; I can hear them making louder and louder sounds, so I think I am going to keep biting up that area to even up the bruises and hear them tighten up. Then I'm going to bite down the inside of their thigh just to hear them scream as they think I might actually bite their balls.""

WhiteTigerPrime: "In Primal, I have macro awareness. Very aware of the entire world around me. Every little sound, sight, anything at all, comes to my attention.

In Top Space, I am hyper aware, but it is tunnel visioned on to the person I am playing with. I'm not even aware of anyone else who may be around, even if they are talking to me."

The discussion around primal is really interesting, especially because it's pretty underdeveloped in the BDSM world as far as I can tell (or rather, many people use this to define an array of things, perhaps unhelpfully).

As a person, I'm very gut driven. I'm emotional, instinctive. I know pretty quickly how I feel about plans, people, ideas. My life isn't shaped by discipline but by these gut feelings that compel me (perhaps to the same end that discipline would other people; gut/primal doesn't mean out of control or wild). But in my sexuality, I get in my head. I am bombarded with all kinds of thoughts: "What should I be doing right now? What does he need from me? What would feel best right now? Where does my hand go? Why is my leg twitching? Do we switch our head positions now?" < This is on loop. For hours. It doesn't stop. I can't get myself to disengage and just *feel.*

Theoretically I should be as gutty and primal in my sexy time as I am in all the other areas of my life. So I'm interested in hearing from those who have experienced this primal play for themselves or in partners: how do you 'access' that part of yourself? What triggered it? Was it something you had to work up to and free, or did you always know it was there?

Also any other insight into the primal scene as a whole would be appreciated!

MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 14, 2018

I remember when primal became vogue.

It was a time when I had to face my own intolerance.

A -- role my eyes "ugh" moment.

I'll be curious to see what ppl say here .

Bunnie • Nov 14, 2018

The first Dom I met in person introduced me to the concept of Primal. I didn’t know what it was, nor did he state anything about it. It wasn’t until afterwards that I found words to describe the exchanges we had experienced. There were moments throughout our play where his energy would shift into something so focused and raw. Predatory (in a good way). Primal is now the only word I can think of that describes it... even down to the look in his eyes. It felt like in that moment we were stripped back to pure instinct. For me, being an over-thinker, it was heaven. I didn’t need to guess or question or wonder. I just knew. He would fuck me in a way that was unlike anything... it was just... raw. I’m probably doing a terrible job at explaining what I mean, so I apologise. It’s really hard to try to put into words, a feeling. For me, it felt like we shifted into a shared space of heightened senses and awareness based on instinct more than intellect or social conditioning.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 14, 2018

@Bunnie

Love this.

NaivelyOptimistic​(sub female) • Nov 15, 2018

@Bunnie, I love that him being in that space, he was able to take you with him. I don't know that there's much in this world like that-- everything is very singular. But having that be shared, or at least sharable in part, is really kind of special.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Nov 15, 2018

Naiv ,
All i can add to this is that i love the oozzing of raw power that comes from Wolf. And how it seems to seep into my pores, filling my soul.

And how i love my scars from bites on my back and the crook between my shoulder and neck . i find them to be sexy as all get out and wear them so ever proudly.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 15, 2018

@alawey


LOVE THIS


I am having to rethink this.

NaivelyOptimistic​(sub female) • Nov 15, 2018

Thinking about scars from bites on my neck and back gave me GOOSEBUMPS, @ala.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Nov 15, 2018

As soon as i can i want to get them tattoo ( have them go over them with ink ) so that they show better. Mmmmm. Naiv there is a poem that wolf wrote on my profile ( well there are two) but the one that starts off black and mild. Was wrote after my first visit and on my birthday.

Lady Lushavore​(dom female) • Nov 16, 2018

Primal for me is something that is very fluid and hard to differentiate between my need to Dominate at times. I consider it a snake with two heads -the theoretical distinctions woven together at the neck. Sometimes they peer down the same path, other times they look seperate ways. The body is the vehicle that either or both heads control at any given time and moves down the path they do/(do not) want to take.

Aside from metaphors, Primal takes a just as much of an active role as being a Dominant in my everyday life. Whereas I am aware of my surroundings by practicality and logic, I am known to have a high sense of smell and use that to scent my partners, family, and friends. (That sounds weird every time I admit it). Little things like that are sprinkled throughout the characteristics of myself that are driven purely by this unseen force urging me on.

It can have as little or no control that I allow it to. An example of no control that I had was when my Primal side had been triggered into overdrive and I stalked one of my ex-partners into a wall, trapping him and (being unexperienced and confused with what I wanted to do next -lost in my 'mode') I proceeded to lift him into the corner and hold him there. Needless to say, that young man was shouting 'NO' very quickly. It was very hard for me to release him and we eventually parted ways. -As a side note: if I wasn't in that 'mode' there was no way I would have been able to lift that soft dowy boy into the air, Primal shoves everything "I can't do normally" into a corner and just somehow gets it done.

Being around noticably Primal people brings out my own. I find that as a Dominant I can trample and tame even my own psyche. Having that detail oriented side, I can apply to most every single experience... but the Primal is only for a select few and used in stages of frequency.

Some people like to be punished, not all of those people like to be mauled.

It's just another aspect to be aware of yourself and temper into something that becomes a strength instead of a weakness.