How to be a better submissive

Bunnie • Nov 25, 2018

@ no one special,

“How does one let their natural submissiveness come to the surface when life has taught them to hide their submissive side and be "independent".”

You begin the painful process of stripping away the layers that hid it. This takes time and guidance. Either with a Dominant or without, you can always still work on this yourself. In my opinion, the best thing we can do is get to know ourselves... honestly. Honesty is part of the foundation of this lifestyle, so a great starting point is being honest with ourselves. Read as much as you can, but do it with mindfulness... question yourself as you’re doing it... “do I like this or that?” “Can I imagine myself doing that?” Keep in mind that being submissive isn’t just about someone spanking your butt, it’s a mindset.

I would suggest starting a journal. Write about everything... in my opinion, a journal is one of the most valuable tools of a submissive.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 25, 2018

If your looking for homework.


Two things


One - watch people, anticipate their needs, and act on it.

For example ------ someone patting themselves down usually is looking for something to write with.

If your friend is red faced and licking their lips they are most likely thirsty.




Two---- volunteer at every event.

I have folks that volunteer at my parties to do service. It's a relief for me and a good training for them.

Savida​(other female) • Nov 25, 2018

A lot of good things have been said here—can’t rush it, and you’re far less likely to “resist” when you feel comfortable. Listen to your instincts—not every person calling themselves a Dominant is worthy of submission. Whether you characterize it as a treasured gift or something else, it’s a big deal and leaves you vulnerable—so you run huge risks if you jump into with the first person who acts a certain way or says the right things.

Anyone can parrot the right phrases—and I’ve found such value in simply waiting to see what the person shows me of themselves. Anyone can keep up an act for a while, but it always crumbles after a certain point... So. Even if you meet someone (and no doubt people are blowing up your inbox) my advice would be to try to take it slow, wait them out, and see if they are a good fit for you instead of framing yourself as the one who needs to be good enough. You stand to give someone a lot if it works out with a Dominant, no decent one will fault you for wanting to be sure it’s right.

Also, one pretty decent website and resource is submissivesguide. There’s a lot of topics to read on that might help you understand a bit more about yourself and BDSM in general.