Consent in chat..

Villanelle(staff)

5 years ago • Nov 29, 2018

I appreciate passionate debate and generally prefer not to step in, however this is a good place for clarification about our moderation. As admins, we like to stay out of discussions as much as possible (we're busy doing boring technical stuff). However we will act when someone is being harassed or abused in any way. We encourage you to attack a position or a viewpoint (as Curiouskitty says above) and to passionately argue a topic as you see fit. We draw the line at personal attacks such as name calling, harassment, etc.

If someone acts in an abusive way by acting as outlined above they may be cautioned, have their rights to participate in discussions restricted, and in extreme cases, banned. Each situation is judged on its own merit. If you feel you've been personally attacked or harassed, please file a report and include a screenshot or link if possible. And don't forget the good old "block" feature if all else fails

Fudbar(dom male){❤️❤️❤️}

5 years ago • Nov 30, 2018

Well... Interesting discussion. It seems to me that personal bias derailed it in a few instances. Let's recap and refocus on the issues as raised:

My original discussion was on the nature of consent as it applies to a chat room. The only replies there that explained their position were in agreement with me.

How is consent negotiated in the chat room and how is it violated? Do you really believe the admins would allow or sanction ongoing consent violations?

My original point regarding vague language in the 'explict chat' rule was misinterpreted in the same way the rule has been. There is no specific prohibition against role play in the lobby. None of the rules speak to this. The admins have commented and did not address this issue.

Why do so many choose to interpret this rule as applying only to role play and not to explict chat in general?

What do you consider to be explict, and why do you feel this only applies to role play and not to discussion in general?

alawey(sub female){(OWNED BY }

5 years ago • Nov 30, 2018

In my opinion the rule applys to possibly both . and while i will admit i maybe wrong about that.
My only thought being other than that is why there is suddenly becoming an issue AGAIN with the fact that out of being NICE to others whom may want to have a discussion about something be it kink or not, with moving any RP to another room?

Fudbar(dom male){❤️❤️❤️}

5 years ago • Nov 30, 2018

alawey wrote:

I'm attempting to reframe and refocus here. My original post made it clear that I wish to discuss this within a consent framework and have those who object explain why they think consent applies.

This is not a discussion about etiquette or manners in chat.

curiouskittyy(sub female){GentlemanX}

5 years ago • Nov 30, 2018

1)How is consent negotiated in the chat room and how is it violated? Do you really believe the admins would allow or sanction ongoing consent violations?

I think that consent doesn’t reallly exist in the chat room. So there is no need to negotiate it and it can’t really be violated. Its just not applicable. I know you wanted to bring the discussion away from etiquette and manners... however I think that is what chat is based on. Social etiquette to be precise. I personally see chat as the safe space’ of this community. What I mean by this, is a space where everyone in the community can come together and discuss (including action talk) anything they choose without fear of judgement.

2) Why do so many choose to interpret this rule as applying only to role play and not to explict chat in general?

I personally don’t get this as role play is just action words. ‘Explicit’ chat has so many different meanings like I mentioned before and really should be clarified. For example, cuss words are generally seen as explicit chat out in public. In my opinion the whole nature of BDSM is rather explicit....

3) What do you consider to be explict, and why do you feel this only applies to role play and not to discussion in general?

I think this question kinda ties in with what I have already said but for clarification purposes, I (personally) think that explicit chat refers to anything of a sexual nature .. which is huge part of kink. I also don’t think this only applies to role play and definitely applies to chat in general. Again .. I don’t think this has anything to do with consent and is more of a social etiquette issue. E.g. I’ve seen people in chat bring conversations around CNC (which is particularly sensitive for some) into a side room.

I feel as though maybe these chat rules should be explained more by admin, as I personally don’t get the ‘explocit’ Or consent rule. Maybe I’m being dumb here but these are my personal opinions on the matter.

FabSeverus(dom male)	FabSeverus(dom male) 5 years ago • Nov 30, 2018 5 years ago • Nov 30, 2018 FabSeverus(dom male) • Nov 30, 2018 @curiouskitty "as I personally don’t get the ‘explocit’ " slip tongue for explosive lol and you defo not dumb.....