Mentoring

Mentoring

SnappyJ​(sub female){Collared} • Dec 10, 2018

I’m wondering if mentoring a married couple who are new to the lifestyle is even a thing. I’ve seen offers to mentor subs and Doms, but what about couples? How would this even work?

TIA

dollMaker​(dom male) • Dec 10, 2018

Mentors are better found, someone you both like, learn to respect than someone who lands out of the blue in your whatever and offers to mentor. Many in the BDSM world will abuse mentorship to gain play and things they would not normally be entitled to. My view is the best mentoring is peer to peer, sub to sub, dom to dom, and never involves play. Many disagree. Being frank I am suspicious of their reasons why and their attempts to justify it, particularly if its a dom trying to justify dom to sub mentorship.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Dec 10, 2018

As long as by "mentoring" you mean "educate/teach/guide/support" and not "Dom/me/control" then yes there are those.
There are also those that will call "Dominating" mentoring.
Mentoring is word that a lot hide hide behind and it can carry various reasoning. A word of advise, make sure just what you and partner want and need is the same. Your Dom and you might have differing needs, being on opposite sides of the whip. Think about the type of support you need, is it method? dealing with emotional issues, just a sounding board? etc? There are many many reasons for needing a mentor. Additionally make sure what is offered to you, (by a mentor) is just what you BOTH want and need and make sure everyones "meaning of mentor"...is on the same page!

If your unable to find a mentor that suits you "both" there is no harm in both having your own. A submissive can guide another submissive if the intention behind the guidance is pure in nature. Never discredit what another submissive with experience can offer to both parties.

Another helpful thing: if you find someone or another couple, complete transparency is often needed. Jealousy often rears its ugly head in the beginning. For a new Dom/me having his submissive (and partner in your case) can have them feeling some what secondary if the Mentor is another Dominant. Keeping things completely out in the open often helps.

You might also find it easier to use your local munch/support group and get loads of people to discuss different options with. IMO nothing beats face to face interactions.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Dec 11, 2018

@MissBonnie


YES YES YES

SnappyJ​(sub female){Collared} • Dec 11, 2018

Thanks, everyone, for your input. Yes, we'd be looking for just an outside sounding board - we have no interest in bringing another person into our dynamic.