dollMaker(dom male)
|
1 year ago •
Apr 10, 2023
1 year ago •
Apr 10, 2023
I would strongly suggest not jumping into anything observe and learn before taking a step into or getting involved with anyone.
Some people give their bad away very quickly, others who appear ok, sound, ethical, nice it takes longer for them to slip up, outing their abusiveness, serious issues. Patience is required and even then its possible to miss stuff, make excuses for people.
Educating ones self is a very important safety tool, knowing as much as you can about the activities you want to take part in and those you might like to. Knowing the how tos and don’ts allows one to spot those who have little to no skills or knowledge, those who can walk the talk. There are alas plenty of wannabes and fantsists on here, online in general. However spotting dangerous types among the skilled is a bit more of a trick, because there are different types of the dangerous, ignorance is dangerous, but using knowledge, skill to abuse is its own deanger. These people give themselves away via attitudes, comments on blogs, forums, in chat rooms, and via a history of hurting and abusing people on here, those hurt, damaged often talk, though some will slip away never naming the person who hurt them.
There used to be a pretty active sub net here keeping a data base on asshat people, not sure if that is still the case now but alawey is always worth chatting with, she and I don’t always see eye to eye, but she has a heart for peoples safety, and I strongly endorse talking to her.
I think, and I hate saying this, but suspecting people as being not sound is safer than just thinking the best of everyone. I have missed clues myself and made excuses for people and as a result been hurt, and I won’t ever allow that to happen again. I have trusted on here and been stalked, been scammed out of money allowing my kindness, concern for welfare to be exploited. I have been lied to, had my consent abused, been ghosted, and been used as a kink vending machine. I have also met people on here who turned out to be abusers and serious asshats, people I thought were ok, but were far from ok. I simply won’t recommend any dom/domme on here because unless I can see them play, talk to people who know them, previous play partners I have no way to fully know who they are in reality. That aspect re online vetting is hard to do, checking out in person activity and actions, though asking around re people online activity is worth doing.
In my time here I have met some lovely people, even had a few in my life, sadly no longer, so there are good people online but I think percentages are against that so my default these days is trust very slowly, assume the worst and be very, very patient, eventually people out their bad, though sometimes it takes time. I know that makes me look like a grump but self preservation mechanisms can often come across that way.
|